What's the most idiotic thing you've ever heard?
by 
Inspector Javert
ANSWERS: 98
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You will like this Some.random.person!!
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Why are you a boy? That's just stupid...
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when someone is talking about loosing something and say "it was in the last place i looked"-
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The stupist thing I heard, and saw was on the evening news. Breaking news stated a man drove off the road in his SUV, got stuck in mud, and lived in his vehicle for 3 days on Wheat Thins. I waited to see this amazing story. They showed the man, stating he would have starved to death if it werent for Wheat Thins, and he "sucked on plants." But when they showed the street he drove off of, and where his vehicle was stuck, he was like 5 feet off the highway LOL..
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No days off...
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A roommate who got really drunk and pestered me for over an hour one night to sleep with him. It was all over when he asked if size really mattered, and looked completely bummed when I said "Yes! It matters to me." so he'd finally stop asking. He muttered, "That's too bad." and passed out.
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"It's not you it's me."..ughh what a cop-out
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why should i wash the floor now it's only going to get dirty again later, i get this all the time at work.
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History Teacher: (discussing occupied Japan) My Best Male Friend in HS-Scott: (raises hand-looks thoroughly confused) Teacher: Yes, Scott? Scott: Why was Japan not called occupied until the WW? I mean the Japanese have been around like FOREVER, so Japan HAD to be occupied before then, right? Me: (Shakes head, pats Scott on the knee and tells him it's a good thing he's so hot) Scott: (gives me the huh? look) Teacher: Mouth just hanging open like the rest of the class
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When in Louisiana a few years ago driving my big truck and I hit a deer on I-55. It banged up my fender and later I called my wife to tell her and she said,"Was it in the road?",,,,,"No, Honey, I had to run through a fence and chase it across a cow pasture to get close enough to hit it!"
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Some one wanting to take "under God" out of the Pledge of Allegiance.
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My best-guy-friend thought PMS stands for "period mood swings"...It's not that funny now that I type it, but it was hilarious at the moment
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Well, as a CSM for a large supermarket chain, I get a lot of stupid people, who have stupid complaints. But tonight took the cake. I calmly told a customer that her club card was not authorized for check cashing. In return she very rudly looked at me as if I was the stupidest person on Earth and said "I am not cashing a check, I am writing one." I almost passed out.
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'Don't blame me'. I just wish people would take responsibilities for their own actions.
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In Kohl's I heard and overhead announcement stating: "Any and all cashiers to the men's registers please." It just seems to contradict itself to me.
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the question asked at this link, http://www.answerbag.com/q_view/109152
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Rumours that masturbating can cause you to go blind.
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"It doesn't matter what you believe, as long as you're sincere."
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With faith the size of a mustard seed you can move a mountain..... I would love to see that.
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Jumbo shrimp
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Last night. It was raining heavy and did not see the turn and drove right inside the subway station. I could only see buses and realized I am inside the subway station. My kids just laughed and only I can do such things.
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During a religious discussion.: "I never realized that Noah Arc and Joan of Arc were married," you can imagine the look on my face
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I didn't do it or i don't know.
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I'm to tired to think.
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I currently work at a resturaunt in Illinois, and basically my job function is the "buffet cook" basically that consist of me keeping the buffet looking wonderful and sweet but occasionly I make ommelettes for the boys and girls who choose to have one. Well yesterday a guy came up to me and asked "Can i have a bacon, egg, and cheese ommelette?" now think on that one? I just said yes and made him his "bacon, egg, cheese ommelette and went on with my day but i really dont think i will ever get over that. It was funny and the guy didnt mean it but it just slipped out that way.
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One of my friends once said "I really like rottwielers, cause you get the best of both worlds. You get a black dog and a brown dog" Another time he said "The reason I like Punk Rock is because of the music and the lyrics."---------WHAT ELSE IS THERE? *edit* After I posted this,...a couple of my friends and I were talking about ferrets, and how they like to hide things that their owner frequently uses. Then the same guy that said these other two things said "thats why I keep all of my stuff put up really high" Another one of my friends then said "why in case a ferret breaks into you apartment?" then he said "Yeah, you can never be to safe,...what if they can pick locks?" This guy is a moron.
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During a power cut, all the lights went out. So my Mum suggesting charging up some of the torch batteries!
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Ending prayer in public schools.
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c for crap d for damn and e for idiot... duh...
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Now, I'd love to comapre this to another story - the one of Napoloen Bonaparte, and his defeat at Waterloo. Some say it was divine providince he lost - but I say it was a condience. The same one that happened to save the life of my mother. The forces of nature are strange...... but, the answer to both these questions - rain. If you will recall, at Waterloo, Napoloen didn't attack right away. He liked to use altilary and calvery, both of which don't manuver well in /mud/. It rained very heavily the night before. In my mothers case, it had rained very heavily the night before - the ground was muddy. It was soft. It couishned the impact, greatly, and when the car rolled over on her - it just pushed down, it didn't crush her. Both of these events, some may call miricals, we're mere condiences.
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The greatest truth in the Bible is that there is one true and real and living God, and that all others are false. The Bible is man's account of God on earth. The prayer begins Our Father, which art in heaven, hallowed be thy name. The Bible is holy. Now, back to Deuteronomy. What if a false prophet had been allowed to lead the children of Israel astray, and the word of God on earth had died? So, you see, the passage is also true. Moses was also right. Man wrote the Bible, and man is not perfect, so there are flaws in the Bible, but God blessed the Bible, and gave it perfection.
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As for your second reply, that seems like an almost direct contrdiction... the bible was inspired by God and God is perfect... then, if such book is inspired by him, his rules, his guidelines, then... well, does that mean we should kill every one who doesn't worship your god? It also said that we should kill anyone, weither it be your friend, cousion, brother, parent, your own child... that you should kill them, with NO regret, if they don't bow down and worship Christ.
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'Friendly Fire', when you get killed by your own side in a war.
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One of my stoned friends said "It would be so awesome if you lived in the dark since you were a baby--so then your eyes would completely evolve and you could see in the dark" ...what a retard =P
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The latest Iraq plans by Bush and co
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"MY BABY DADDY!!!" AND "BLING BLING"
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my friend sold his car for gas money.
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The thought that through evolution, life has developed. When you dig into the theory, you keep hearing the word “chance” used over and over again. The serious defenders of the theory will let you know what the odds are and they are astronomical. Author and former professor of nuclear physics Dr. Gerald Schroeder compares the likelihood of mere chance being the cause behind the universe and life to the odds of winning the lottery three times in a row: “Before you collect your third winnings, you will be on your way to jail for having rigged the results. The probability of winning three in a row, or three in a lifetime, is so small as to be negligible.”
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"HE WILL CHANGE, RIGHT?" After a guy cheats ugh annoying
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You touched it last! So you have to throw it away!
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My born-again neighbor telling people that Harry Potter is satanic because her pastor told her so and that she did not need to read it to know it was true.
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It took me awhile to pick just one thing, I've heard *alot* of idiocy in my day. But here it is, the most idiotic thing that has ever been said to me. I pulled up to a Wendy's one day with my dad, my dad was breaking in a new bumper sticker that said on it "I'm an anarchist, and I vote.". We parked in the lot, went in, and ate our food. When we walked back out, there was a man standing in the lot staring at out bumper, he came up to us and he said, "Do you honestly think you're the antichrist?" We both laughed our arses off and nearly wrapped the truck around a telephone pole on the way out, it was just so damn funny.
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I did not have sexual relations with that girl.... Indeed I did have sexual relations with Ms. lawinksi,lol
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the spongebob squarepants theme song
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the spongebob squarepants theme song
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the spongebob squarepants theme song
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Jessica Simpson: Is this chicken, what I have, or is this fish? [Jessica is inverviewed by Chaunce Hayden of Metro Channel's 'Naked New York'] Jessica Simpson: I hate to admit it, but yes, I swear to you, I really thought Chicken of the Sea was actually chicken. That's how I really think.
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When I caught my b/f in bed with a very young girl, both in their underwear and he looks at me and says...."It's not what it looks like.". LOL Yeah I tol dhim "Good, cause it looks like it's a little illegal." Turns out: I was right!
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That coconuts migrate.
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i d say the celibate leaders of a certain religion in rome dictating how married people should or should not live their lives.
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People who come to my door asking if I ever heard of Jesus christ.... What a dumb question...lol
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well thats a hole in the ground
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Stop that crying or I'll give you something to cry about.
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"I've looked EVERYWHERE!" My reply "Well, apparently not, fu**in' things still lost, right?" ;)
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You're not allowed to be nervous, you're a senior.
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"This is going to hurt me more than it does you".
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Get a good edumacation.
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"I'm the decider." Or was that the scariest?
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Do I look High?..Wait thats a question..so maybe my answer..
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When working with electrical equipment or heavy machinery: "What happens if I . . ."
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"Bush has won the election."
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"My job is a job to make decisions. I'm a decision -- if the job description were, what do you do -- it's decision maker." --George W. Bush, Tipp City, Ohio, April 19, 2007
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This certainly up there.
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I'm smarter than you because I have a degree. I'm a better person than you because I have a career.
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Honestly, my truly honest say on the matter, the most idiotic thing I have ever heard is that life has no Creator. -In the Master's service. Thank you and God bless you!
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You mean besides someone not understanding the difference between "herd" and "heard?"
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Chyaz: "Things are made of atoms" I refuse to believe in them XD
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God made the world "as is" in 6 days 6000 years ago.
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"We cannot afford to withstand another attack!" "If a woman dresses provocatively then she has only herself to blame if she gets raped." High pitched raspy voice- "I woo eat ya childwen!" ;) "I'm bored so I'm going to downrate or otherwise try to annoy some random person."
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The Iraq invasion was not about oil!
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That there are men out there who believe that if they blow themselves up, killing countless innocent victims, will be rewarded with an afterlife life in some sort of paradise, surrounded by a harem of beautiful women ready and willing to satisfy his every whim.
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That Spongebob is educational.
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Bush talk.
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hi all, the thing is that man was a monkey !!!!! and that jesus was crossed in fact he wasn't the one..
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my cousin blamed me and him for breaking a lamp in the house, i wasnt even home, he said well it was the football you gave me for christmas if you wouldnt of got me that football i wouldnt of broke the lamp..........
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the adam and eve fairy tale
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That Bush waved at Stevie Wonder. Like they say, thats ok though, Stevie's only been blind since birth.
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http://www.joe-ks.com/archives_jan2008/Call_Center_Outsourcing.htm
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Good Lord. That varies day to day. I am constantly dumbfounded at the utter stupidity of other people. I, of course, am BRILLIANT! But today's jackass of the day award goes to the 18 year old idgit who quite vehemently stated that "we need a National healthcare system, it is our governments responsibility to care for its people" Here comes the kicker: he followed this up 5 minutes later by saying he didn't think it was right for governments to make the citizens pay taxes. so I asked him: How in the HELL do you think the government funds programs....like the concept of national healthcare....but with TAX MONEY??????? The look of utter confusion on the face of this poor child was disturbing
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"tornado rips though cemetary,hundreds dead"
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That Mary, the mother of Jesus, was a virgin until she passed away and went straight to heaven after she died.
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I read an article in Sports Illustrated about 7 years ago about a baseball player (don't remember the name) talking about his religious beliefs and evolution. Adam and Eve were real because someone was there, someone saw them. And when asked about dinosaur bones he said "someone put them there". He actually believed that every word of the bible is absolutely true and dinosaurs never existed.
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Evolution
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Well, I dunno about "most" idiotic, but only 52 AB points out of 83 answers seems pretty dumb! (Here's a few more)
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Full Peace (Buddhism)
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Brooke Shields: "Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
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The most idiotic thing I have ever heard will upset some folks because i think it is idiotic and other becasue of who said it. In the movie Maxed-Out Jerry Falwell stated to his minions that he had counseled people on thier Budget and told them that if Tithing is not at the top of the Budget then they were ROBBING from GOD. People can't afford... well ANYTHING and perhaps one of the riches "men of GOD" is saying they should take what little money they have and send it to his bank account. People who don't believe in God get dubbed as Devil worshipers, But if money is the root of ALL EVIL who is the Devil? Why does GOD need so much of it
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Turn to god and your problems are solved.
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I was at friends house watching some basketball with him, his dad comes home and yells out "Turn that Ni*gerball off...". Thats only what I can think of right now, I know i have heard worse but I can't think of it now.
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one of my friends asked if south dakota was on top or bottom XD
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When someone tells me seriouly that they can't imagine living without the TV it amuses me. I think this will qualify to be called the dumbest.
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Somebody told me that because of global warming, the equator is getting so hot that ships have started to melt while crossing.
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When a final goal goes in the net at the hockey game and someone stands up cheering and asks "So did they score" Everyone looked up at him wondering why the heck he was cheering! he didn't even see what happened! This is your positive burst of loving and healing energy to walk with you this day and always!
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my college roommate was on the phone arguing with his girlfriend and i hear him yell "I'm unreasonable!?!?!?!" and then he slams the phone on her.
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God created animals for man to consume. How dumb could these people be? They're a poor excuse to be a human being!
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I heard someone telling his friend, 'Me bull terrier got really sunburnt on his belly yesterday but he can't mind too much 'cause he was back out in the sun again today'.
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My college English teach has issues with our generation!! He is always dissing technology, the government, and how smart we are!! He favors the older students!! He drives me up the wall with all his irrational ideas!! Like another depression would do us good and the reason are generation is dumb is do to phones and computers!! Just lots of down things!! Then he made us right a paper about y rising gas prices were a good thing!! Then said "Imagine how beneficial it would be if we all woke up tomorrow and gas was 10 dollars a gallon!!" I told him if that happens drop me because I wouldn't have the money to drive up to the college to drop the classes myself!!
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What's up? I am sending a burst of positive loving energy to surround and protect you this day!
Hidden80 is Wonderful 
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