ANSWERS: 18
  • Stop arguing with him and find a different way to bond.
  • Why don't you tell him what you just told us? (Perhaps in a letter, if you can't say it aloud.)
  • the fastest way to stop arguing is remember this..."one person cant argue" when he starts just tell him you love him and you will NOT argue w/ him anymore.
  • Tell him exactly what you said here. As far as the "stupid stuff" - If it's stupid, and doesn't mean anything to you, don't argue. Simple as that. It also matters if it's "good natured" arguing", or if you both get nasty during them. BUT, believe me... You will NOT remember the arguments that much... You will remember the good times you had, and the things you learned from him.
  • Thanks for answering everybody!
  • Learn to agree to disagree.
  • just live each day as tho it is your last with whomever you care about. I am a nurse and if he has already had one heart attack that usually means he had several if not many T.I.A. or mini heart attacks before that big one not even realizing it. also remember that even tho you may not believe this, almost everything your parents get on to you about it is because they have "been there done that", I know i sure learned that many times growing up. Be as honest with him as possible and confide in him in small ways to get closer and it WILL help you both with the two of your relationship.
  • By realizing that you have very limited time left together. The next time you feel like arguing with him, clamp your mouth shut and go hug him instead! In the end, all the arguing in the world will have done neither of you any good in making your points be heard and/or respected by the other. Just decide once and for all to let it go and love him as much as you can :)))
  • bite your tounge, and count to ten (in your head) dont let his comments get to you, easier said than done tho aye, find a common interest to discuse rather than topics open for debate...
  • Forget all about arguing and do something nice for him. Take an intrest in one of his hobbies, cook a favourite meal, do something.
  • Everyone has said great things---ways to open communication---but i would also suggest that you find ways to give yourselves space. if you are not old enough to move out, at least don't crowd up on him if he's trying to watch TV---or if he's doing something that's driving you crazy, choose to go somewhere else, even if it's just moving to the next room. everyone is absolutely right that it'd be great if you two ARE able to open up and communicate the true love you have deep down for each other. but also recognizing that you are both different people who don't HAVE to agree in order to feel love for each other....that's important too. try to do as much as possible to show him respect any way you can without being overly outward about it. dads can freak out about a lot of gush all the sudden. or suddenly saying "YES SIR" to him will probably be interpreted as sarcastic. on the other hand, saying "OK" instead of "hmmph" or "Coming!" when you're on your way if he calls for you, etc. those are small ways to help give him respect. later on you can add "great idea" or "sure no problem" without it being taken wrong! ha ha. i'd just say with dads, constantly remind yourself that space isn't a bad thing, agreement isn't an essential thing, and a quick, gentle answer or silence sometimes will do way more than a long heart-felt late-night conversation! finally, let me just say that if anything DOES happen---like a second heart attack---do NOT blame yourself even if you & he fought that very day. he is probably thinking the same thing---"i have to fight less with her because i would hate for her last memory to be of me mad at her." i bet even if he doesn't show it that HE is making resolutions the same way you are, it's just that most guys don't verbalize that sort of stuff very often :) best of luck. when i was a teen, my dad & i couldn't STAND each other so i know what you're going through (we get along great now, though).
  • Ask about his childhood. Believe it or not, all the older people i started talking to all said that once they hit around they're 20's they haven't changed at all. It's interesting though to find out about the man behind the father. You might just gain a greater respect and understanding for him, and him, you.
  • Tell him, Dad I really love you and I'm scared for you. I don't want to fight anymore, life is to short. I want us to be closer because one day when one of us leaves for good there should only be happy memories. I want to start those happy memories today. Remember that you could go before him, we never know.
  • Yeah come to realize you are the child and you should have more respect for your dad and listen to what he says and not try and out do him all the time. So what if you are right what is it worth when he is laying in the floor dead? GROW UP!
  • yes. avoid these tense situations. Listen to him a lot more and remember it might sound boring but the reason why he knows so much about life is because he has been on planet earth a lot longer than yourself and is more knowledgeable about life and the situations that can crop up, unexpectedly or not. If you feel yourself getting on the defensive, just walk away to another room or go for a walk explaining you need to get some air and don't want to argue. Coming away from tense situations and avoiding them from happening will help a great deal. You never want him to be in that situation again and I'm sure you don't want to be the cause of another one either. He might not always be right but take it with a pinch of salt and don't rise to it. All the best.
  • Really stupid things make for really stupid reasons to fight will your ill father. It takes two to fight, if they're not even legitimate things to argue over, sounds like you're both right-fighters. Why don't you try to be the bigger person when a disagreement over something *really stupid* arises and chose not to fight about it.
  • stop arguing with him then
  • Stop and look at it from his point of view instead of yours. He had a heart attack. Could he be terrified that he may have died or did come close to dying? Could he be scared of it happening again? Does he have to give up activities, foods, habits (lifestyle changes) to make sure it doesnt happen? Is he scared but wants to look manly and in charge so can't talk about his fears or perhaps wants to protect everyone so he doesnt talk about it? Can he talk and perform the same way he did before the event or does he have limitations? Does he have to limit activities and take medicatio s and he feels less of a person? While you are afraid of losing him, maybe your dad is afraid of losing himself and/or losing his family. It's great you want to fix things because this event should bring you closer. It's time to step up to the plate and find your maturity. Look at things with his eyes and be honest with your emotions about what happened. Take the first step. Take him out for coffee ... talk and listen. Good luck!

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