ANSWERS: 5
  • This is from a pamphlet published by the LDS Church called "For the Strength of Youth", under the section "Sexual Purity". (You can read the whole thing here: http://www.lds.org/youthresources/pdf/ForStrengYouth36550.pdf) It is intended for teenagers, but most of it applies to unmarried adult members of the Church as well. ---- Do not have any sexual relations before marriage, and be completely faithful to your spouse after marriage. Satan may tempt you to rationalize that sexual intimacy before marriage is acceptable when two people are in love. That is not true. In God’s sight, sexual sins are extremely serious because they defile the power God has given us to create life. The prophet Alma taught that sexual sins are more serious than any other sins except murder or denying the Holy Ghost (see Alma 39:5). Before marriage, do not do anything to arouse the powerful emotions that must be expressed only in marriage. Do not participate in passionate kissing, lie on top of another person, or touch the private, sacred parts of another person’s body, with or without clothing. Do not allow anyone to do that with you. Do not arouse those emotions in your own body. In cultures where dating or courting is acceptable, always treat your date with respect, never as an object to be used for your lustful desires. Stay in areas of safety where you can easily control your physical feelings. Do not participate in talk or activities that arouse sexual feelings. ---- A first-date kiss would not be considered offensive by most Mormons, but it is very much dependent on the particular man and his interpretation of the above, not on the explicit proscriptions of his religion.
  • The best recommendation I can give you on this is to use common sense. I first learned about The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints when I started dating a Latter-day Saint girl, and I had basically the same questions you do. First of all, recognize that this man is an individual. As a general rule, we Latter-day Saints live by the maxim ostensibly coined by the Prophet Joseph Smith Jr: “I teach them correct principles and they govern themselves” (quoted by John Taylor, “Millennial Star”, Nov. 15, 1851, p. 339). Thus, Church leaders very rarely go into extreme specifics when teaching the principles of the Gospel. While extramarital sex would be *extremely* inappropriate—as would extramarital sexual acts (e.g. necking, petting, etc.)—members of the Church are strongly encouraged to use their God-given intelligence. In other words, there’s a lot of room for individual opinion. I guess what I’m really saying here is that you’re right, some people might not think a kiss on the cheek appropriate for a first date; my best friend, for example, decided to save even his lips for marriage (no idea how a cheek kiss would’ve fit into that rule). I, on the other hand, was always perfectly comfortable with a kiss on the lips, a lingering embrace, etc., and when I wasn’t sure how a particular girl felt, I actually braved the momentary awkwardness and just asked her, point blank, if I could kiss her. She seemed to appreciate the respect, and I’m guessing this guy will, too—if, of course, he doesn’t ask/kiss you first. ;-) HTH, and have fun on your date! :-)
  • Kissing him on the cheek would cause no offense.
  • You must first concider; can you live in his world?
  • I appreciate all the feedback, thanks, it really helps. Just to clear up though, I wasn't suggesting sexual encounters. I come from a very loving and warm environment where huggging and kissing on the cheek is normal. I understand and respect other people's traditions and values. It was more about trying to show affection other than 'just friends'.

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