ANSWERS: 38
  • I think this is very true. My ex-fiance and I attempted to start the relationship over very briefly, and it only helped me to realize and embrace all of the old reasons I'd had for breaking off the engagement in the first place. Once a relationship is broken, most times it can not be fixed, in my experience.
  • i believe it too. there gets to be too much water under the brigde every time someone walks out. you do things out of spite and walking out becomes the norm.
  • My ex b/f and I (over a 2+ year period) broke up and got back together more times than I can count. Sometimes we'd be 'broken up' for a day, sometimes a couple of weeks.....dozens of times. It was a dysfunctional relationship and the root of the evil was never gone (he was a heavy drinker and verbally abusive). I finally found a little self esteem and called it quits for the final time. So, the answer to your question, for me personally, is "no" it hasn't worked out for me to get back together with an ex.
  • yes, I think thats true. and no..the getting back together game has never worked for me.
  • Dr Phil once said alot of things, none of them relevant to anyones life.
  • that's pretty accurate speaking from experience
  • I think NORMALLY what Dr. Phil says there would be the case, however me and my boyfriend are the exception to it. We've tried to be together twice before this time and it was because I chose someone better (at the time) over him. There was periods of "hate" between us but now we've been together for two years and looking to get married and buy a house together. I guess stranger things have happened!
  • Dr. Phil is dopey. All that matters is that a couple solves the problems that broke them up. How many times they've broken up has no bearing on anything. It just means the problems weren't solved yet.
  • me and my fiance broke up like 8 times at the begining and has not broken up for 2 years...so i would disagree personally
  • It's kind of stating the obvious. Though personally I wouldn't quote Dr Phil on anything. Particulary as he isn't even a licensed psychologist.
  • ...it doesn't seem like you're clear on what he said...neither am I... breakups might not be what they seem. to the degree one accepts any story about their life as real is equivalently the degree to which they've apparently chosen to be in contention with that story... as stories are mere fiction, they are as easily dispelled as they are made...
  • I'd say that's true.No,it has never worked out with an ex.(that's why they're exes)I have spoken to a guy I dated years ago and the things that bugged me about him back then were still apparent when I saw him 14 years later.
  • It sort of depends on why the relationship wasn't working and why you're together. Are you actually mismatched or do one or both of you have unrealistic expectations of what a relationship is? A relationship will not fix your life, neither should it destroy it. If you love each other, the chances that you will feel a need to break up is slim. A lot of people are in a relationship because they are afraid of being alone, others use it as a drug to indulge their senses, it's very complex. But- if 2 people know that a relationship is an enormous challenge and a measure of one's maturity level and see it as a way of sharing the love that they feel and joy about being alive and are supportive of one another and don't miss a chance to validate one another with respect and care, it can be the best that life has to offer. The catch? The most rewarding gifts in life will demand all that is good and strong within you and will require that you always unflaggingly work on your faults and shortcomings without glossing over them or falling into the 'Blame Game' and other such destructive behaviors. It no walk in the park!
  • Yes, yes but the only credit I give DP is that is sensationalizes the obvious but there are so many deep, deep reasons that always cause breakups: distrust, immaturity, financial disagreements, non-committment to marriage...many others out there. But most couples who are constantly struggling and have truly lost their committment to make it last always go back into it short-fused, and ready to find immediate fault and build more excuses for breaking it off again. Those relationships are spiraling downward and nothing you seem to say will save it. Everyone's had an ex in their past so I say it's pretty much true.
  • I think this statement holds very true - at least from my experience, and from what I've seen of my friends who have experienced this. If your relationship is THAT riddled with problems and issues from the start, marraige will not make it better. Sometimes you just have to realize you can be in love with someone you're not compatible with.
  • It's been true for me.
  • I think that Dr. Phil is an idiot... But that being said, sometimes, Im sure that he quotes other very brilliant people when he says things so... I personally believe that some people... actually buld their relationships on the negative aspect of a relationship and are together... because of the break-ups and make-ups. That doesn't make it right... But some people really do base their entire relationship on the drama that it affords them. Sometimes, entire marriages exists just due to the drama energy they create between two like-minded people. The break ups come as a direct result when one or the other falls out of agreement with that bond that they keep between them and one actually begins to grow tired of it. People tend to see themselves as their symptoms, personified rather than a seperate entity from their situations and problems, they often intergrate themselves so deeply into they own psychosis and problems that they believe THEY ARE their problems... Its strange... I never understood it myself? If you really want something to work... you find a way, If you don't, there will never be a way no matter how much you try and beat a dead horse... Human beings have eternally been good like that for a long time without the help of morons like Dr. Baldy!
  • I think it is so true!!! it just puts more between you!!!
  • Although I think Dr. Phil is a total hack, I have to agree with the statement. I was in one relationship recently where we broke up once after 1.5 years together, stayed friends for 2 or 3 months, got back together for another 6 weeks, broke up, got back together for like 2 weeks, and then broke up for good.
  • I think that is verry true; well to me. Me and my last ex broke up maybe 5-10 times and each time we broke up the amount of time for us to break up again gets less and less. Lol, it's been a month and a week now since the break up; and i never want it to work out again.
  • Dr Phil probably never broke up with anyone. I like to hope that love is stronger than any problem and has a way of working out. I never took back an ex because the opurtunity has never been there. I just got dumped myself a month ago and I don't think he ever wants to see me again but I miss him and would love to be able to patch things up. He dumped me tho. I think as long as both people are willing to give time and space between the events that caused a break up and are willing to accept their flaws and are open to change than it can work out.
  • I have no clue on what to do, im in this predictament & its been almost a year since we broke up except im with a new guy i have no clue what to do..??? My head says one thing and my heart says another..
  • Well, I don't know about that. But isn't taking advice from Dr. Phil just one step short of letting your next-door neighbor counsel you?
  • Dr. Phil doesn't know everything. I think it's unique to whatever situation you're in. If you truly love your ex and you want them back in your life, work on ways to be happy, and find a way to get them back. When there's a will, there's a way. Sure, it doesn't always work out, but you won't know until you try. Don't always take other people's advice without knowing from personal experience. You may one day wake up and kick yourself knowing that you let someone get away from you.
  • my best friend been with her husband 11 years , they break up every 3 to 6 months, they stay apart for like 2 months at a time, then they get back together agian.
  • I think it is generally true. The more you breakup, the easier it is to breakup over anything. I've seen some people use the breakup as a punishment, and expect to get together shortly. The most I've broken up with any one person has been twice, and the second one was final.
  • What Phil said is true ... Studies PROVE that the more a couple breaks up ; it weakens the bonds and love .... Thus it gets easier and easier to just break up and one leave .... However; THat is NO WAY to live your life ... Going back to someone ONCE is enough ... IF there is a 2nd break up; it should be a PERMENANT one ...
  • If he said it, then it's probably wrong, unless he is quoting someone else. Stan & Kyle give better counsel than Dr Phil.
  • how are you going to work things out if you don't learn to stay together and work things out ? i have never seen an on again off again couple make it must past 6 months of 1st separation.
  • My husband and I separated after 6 yrs of marriage. We started the divorce process but we never finalized it. We were apart for 2 yrs exactly. 2 yrs to the date that we separated, we decided to give us another try and we've been back together now for 6 yrs. And we are doing very well together. This type of situation really depends on the couple and how much each person is willing to make the relationship work.
  • me and my bf broke up alot at start we perfect now xxx
  • ummm depends on the breakup, in my opinion. bad breakups tend to lead to built-up negative feelings and trust issues in the future. if you break up all the time, probably not that big of a deal.
  • Its very true. Even when you get back together, the same problems will probably still be there. Also, once breaking up or divorce is a viable option that has been considered (acted on), its much easier just to call it quits again.
  • Well, my boyfriend and I have split up five times - and we have been together for ten years now :-) He ditched me twice for another woman in our first year. Then he came back to me and I left him for someone else... when I split up with the other guy, me and the original decided to give it another go and start afresh. I got restless though because he had been my first boyfriend, and left him for a guy I worked with. That lasted a month before I seriously regretted it and crawled back. We've been back together again four and a half years now. Yes, we've had our ups and downs but I love him. Lets just say we both have commitment issues :-)
  • My gosh your a veteran that's real love
  • When my husband and I started dating, I was 18 and he was 20. About 2 years in, he broke it off. He said he was freaked out about us being together so long, and him not being ready to get married or anything. About a year after that, he did it again. He said he was concerned that I hadn't had many other relationships and he didn't think it was fair to me to not have that experience. I told him that I thought it was my decision whether I wanted that or not. We got back together a few weeks later. It's been about 8 years since then, and we got married last year. We just bought a house, we're pregnant with our first child, and all is well. I think it depends on the reasons for the split. Had it been cheating - I would never have trusted him again (or him me, were it the other way around), and this relationship probably wouldn't have worked out. Since it was just our young age, and a bit of fear of long-term committment and growing up - it turned out fine as soon as we both got a little older.
  • I think this is true. Because the more you break up with someone, the more likely you are to break up whenever you have a fight or get into an argument. If you really love someone, you are willing to stick it out and not use breaking up a way of finishing your arguments. +3
  • I was married 8 1/2 years and went backtogether for 1 1/2 years more. Separated 11 times and filed 3 times. The 3rd time it stuck but we went back together for 1 1/2 years after that. I was barely 18 and he barely 20 when we married. Way too young but that was in 1959. We always went back together until I got a great paying job. The next time he stayed out drinking, I totally called it quits. We would have been married 50 years 7/11 but he died in 2003. I never remarried. Never got over the disappointment of my marriage not working. Plus I had 3 children I didn't want to drag through a series of relationships. Life is strange. And just when you think you have it figured out . . . it's time to go.

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