ANSWERS: 19
  • Given the fact that he WON'T tell her he's MARRIED or honor your request to stop calling her i would say , HE obviously has an immense interest in the woman , but still wants the "comforts" of home. IF by chance his "friendship" ends up going nowhere he has his "safety zone" waiting for him. I have been there, I am no longer married to that kind of dishonest man. I suggest you do yourselves both a favour and leave . He will see what he had once it's gone, and that's how life goes. You staying with him in this kind of marriage is only encouraging his dishonesty. You become the enabler as long as you allow it to continue. BRASS TAX: He has a choice , you and the marriage or her and whatever it MAY lead to...short and sweet.
  • I would be happy to give you the names of at least 20 divorce attorneys. a blatant cheater is the worst. call an attorney, now.
  • that happened to me and even after i confronted the woman face to face he went to see her,trust me you deserve better i took him back and with in less that 2 years he did it again and finally left and moved in with this new woman.if i could go back knowing what i know now i would have packed up my kids and the respect and got on with my life the longer it goes on and you wait the worse it gets and the more you lose of yourself.
  • I say .. you should divorce him .. but not until you tell her that he is married .. men are suave liers .. maybe she is a good person and will dump him too! Leaving him all alone!!!
  • if he wont stop cheating, your only option to is to divorce him or forfeit the rest of your life. The choice is actually very simple if you have any care at all for yourself and your well being.
  • I think you should deal with this by treating it as a symptom, not as the disease itself. What I mean is, if this is a sign of anything, it's that there's distance between you and your husband: an emotional barrier, a communication break-down. Your goal shouldn't be to force him to stop calling this woman: it should be to understand why he is calling this woman, what that means about your relationship, and how you can fix this problem at the root, together. Your goal should be to remove the distance between you two: to break through the barrier. Breaking through the barrier will be difficult because it requires honesty: you'll both have to lay yourselves open to each other and expose your vulnerabilities, weaknesses, and needs. Doing this yourself will be hard enough: getting your husband to play along will probably be harder. You'll have to take great care. I think you and your husband have to sit down and discuss this issue calmly, logically, honestly, and openly. This is the kind of conversation that can go on for days, months even. Or it could just take one really hard night. Either way, it takes commitment and hard work, and it will be emotionally draining. Start it yourself but choose the time wisely: aim for peace and impartiality. Don't pick a day when either of you are rushed, stressed, pissy, or have other things on your mind. Don't pick a time when you have responsibilities, like he has to pick up the kids in an hour or you have a dinner party that night. Don't spring this on him when he's just gotten off the phone with the woman (what I mean by "impartiality"). It might help to open a bottle of wine, share a glass or two, and then start. Start by explaining your feelings to him. Be straightforward. Think about what you're going to say ahead of time. Watch your language: if you start off blaming him, he'll immediately be on the defensive and you'll have wasted your time. Phrase things so they're about you, not him: for example, "When I think of Jane, I feel sad, lonely, and frightened. I don't understand your relationship with her and it confuses me and makes me feel isolated from you. I want to understand and I want to feel like we're a team: I don't want to feel threatened by the things you do when we're apart. I need your help. Please, talk to me about this." The goal here is to re-commit to one another and re-establish trust. If you're at the point where you're telling him to break off contact with someone else, you clearly don't trust him. And if he's at the point where he has private friends, he clearly doesn't trust you. Maybe he thinks he has needs that you can't satisfy and he doesn't trust you enough to talk about them (not necessarily sexual needs -- people always boil these things down to sex but it's often about other things too). You have to find some way to convince him that he CAN trust you, that you CAN satisfy him, and that he made the right choice to bond himself to you in marriage. And you have to become worthy of his trust through understanding and acceptance and hope. (But let's not confuse that with being a doormat.) Good luck!
  • To be blunt... Obviously he doesn't give a shit about you and doesn't care to stop what he's doing. You need to leave him because there's no point in staying. You're just hurting yourself if you choose to stay with someone like that.
  • kick him out ya wanna know why.... bc he never said he was married so he was GONNA do something wrong if it was a random thing where he met a new FRIEND then she would knwo he had a wife, kids, job blah blah he's a cheater dump him asap
  • This boy needs to grow up. How about some time on the couch to clear his head.
  • Ask him if he would like a divorce. It sounds to me like he might be cheating if he lied about it in the first place. Or call her and ask her if she is sleeping with your husband. See how well that goes over with him.
  • perhaps he works hard and needs a little stress relief from time to time. Maybe you always have a headache and he's getting tired of trying to consumate with you or maybe you have let yourself go since getting married and he's tired of all the nagging and complaining. Or maybe you are the perfect wife and he's a douche bag
  • My husband has been speaking to Melaine Hayhurst. They met drunk at a concert and left her husband there to go to a hotel for 3 nights together. We signed separation papers in June, and he was working out of town & home on the weekends. Shortly thereafter he wrecked his truck and was arrested for dwi 5 hours away. He called me to bail him out. I did & we agreed to work on our marriage. He went to rehab & when he got out she called him. He said he wouldnt talk to her anymore, but now he is. He says hes confused about what he wants, but they are just friends & its not my business. He insists they are going through recovery and being supportive of one another. She calls him from payphones so her husband doesnt find out. Even though we signed separation papers, my husband never moved out. We never separated our finances. I do all the bills, his laundry, errands, and he calls me asking me to do things for him all the time. I really wanted our marriage to work out but at this point I feel like I'm a secretary/maid to him all while he enjoys building this relationship with her. When I found out they are speaking/visiting again, I told him I felt like a fool believing his promise not to talk to her. He said I shouldnt have looked at phone records & Im causing problems by looking. I told him I was going to put his belongings outside then, and he replied saying he was going to cut me off financially. I know he cant as we have a signed agreement, but I would have to go through legal proceedings to enforce it. I cant afford the time this will take. More than anything I want him back. I just want this bitch to leave us alone. I also have reason to believe that she impersonated me going to his dr demanding to see his medical records. She denies it, and he doesnt know who to believe. TOO MUCH DRAMA!
  • the best way to get over that is to start calling me and meeting me at places of your choice
  • Get some counseling. Find out what's wrong with your relationship. The problem is not her, it's your marriage. If he's just talking to her, he's looking for whatever's missing in your relationship.
  • Go out and find someone to have fun with
  • Call this other woman, explain that he's married and that you're not comfortable with his relationship with her.
  • 1. Don't have sex with him unprotected until he's been certified disease free. 2. Especially if there are children involved see a marriage counselor with or without him. 3. You cannot, nor should you try to change his mind. Simply allow him to make his choices and then you make the best choice you can for everyone involved based on that choice. 4. Know his choices are a reflection of who he is not who you are and you're probably better off without him anyway.
  • Leave him. Take all his stuff. No, tell the cops he "threatened you" and you can get a stay away order, then sell all his stuff at a yard sale. F**K him.
  • i would dump him, sounds like hes already taken anyways

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