ANSWERS: 53
  • i think hes playing with your feelings. its not fair to keep you hanging on just until he is ready to give the relationship another go. is he telling you everything or is it some story because he doesnt want to hurt you. if i was you i would find out his reasons for breaking up and find out why hes not with you now if he eventually does want to get back together. good luck
  • He sounds self-centered. Stop taking those calls. There are better bets out there.
  • He is trying to keep his options open so if things don't work out with his current squeeze, he can fall back to you. He sounds like a totally selfish, arrogant idiot. Don't take his phone calls and don't fall for his baloney. If you were so important to him, he would be with you NOW. Seek a man that is interested in your feelings and not just flattering you with things he thinks you want to hear. I am sure you are just as beautiful on the inside as outside.
  • Im in a similar situation. I was living with my BF and he told me after 7 mos that he wasnt ready for a long term commitment..that living together was too much like marriage to him. We arent living together now but he still wants to have a relationship. I am going to give him some time but you should do what your heart tells you to do. If you still love him maybe you should give him some time as well.
  • I up rated both Staffie and debsmooth...I agree...it seems odd at best. If the two of you had spoken and decided that there were some individual issues you both wanted to work on, within yourselves while separated, probably also reassessing if you would want to continue working on having a productive and loving relationship in the future; and decided TOGETHER to separate for a time. That would be ONE thing. But, in this case ONE of you (him) decided to have quits with the relationship...for what ever reason. To ME...that means it is OVER..period. Even if six months or two years from now you were to meet up somehow and end up deciding to give it another shot..bravo for that...but for NOW...if he wants to be rid of having a relationship with you...HE NEEDS TO LEAVE YOU ALONE! So you have a chance to heal, assuming you weren't happy to end the relationship, and so you can think, without his interference, of what you WOULD like in your next relationship...and to do what feels good and right to you in growing and dealing with your feelings and ideas new or old to create a happy and balanced life for YOURSELF! His behavior is inappropriate at best, rather emotionally abusive and manipulative also come to mind. I, personally, would ask him to stop calling me. Change my phone number or hang up when he calls. You need time to think about what YOU want, without BS.
  • He's telling you what you want to hear so you'll stick around. Don't fall for this crap girl!
  • i think that's pretty realistic. cuz like you know sometimes people can not be ready to go into a relationship right at the time because of something that makes them feel like they should stay single. like you know you wanna just experience the feeling of being single for awhile and stuff. but then again sometimes its like not the truth if they don't want to get with you now. but don't force it on him or else he will give up and just take you back without wanting to at the momment. idk if this is helpful but i went through this and so it's kinda what happend to me.
  • Well it just matters what his doing now...but I think his just keeping you there just incase there is nothing out there for him...I mean if he left you to see what its like with someone else and then comes up with the fact that its better with you then he has to do something to make sure your still thinking about it...so he tells you his misses you, your pretty but he just can do it right now...but it looks good later down the line...your like a back plan..sorry
  • No, this is not realistic! You need to realise that this guy is messing with you and that you have get rid of him.
  • Why are you taking his calls and listening to him tell you ths garbage? My mom used to tell me to have some esteem and pride in myself when dealing with men. I think you also need to have pride in yourself and get on with your life WITHOUT HIM IN IT. This guy sounds like he is not worth your time. Sorry !
  • I hate to say it but this guy is trying to keep you around 'just in case'. He wants to know you are going to be there for him when he gets thrown in the mud like he did to you. My advice is to tell him that it was over when he dumped you and he needs to get over it and get a life. One that doesn't leave you in the lurches until he needs you again. I'm sure you still have feelings for this guy otherwise you wouldn't even consider this, but this guy is just being selfish right now, and a guy like that has no place to be in a relationship. Besides, why settle when you can find a guy that will treat you how you deserve. Trust me, the sex might be good (if you were having sex) and he might make you feel the best you've ever felt, but I'm sure you will find someone else who will make you wonder why you were even with this jerk in the first place. Life's too short to settle for mediocrity.
  • No. he is throwing out a fishing line and bait for you for a roll in the hay. he wants to keep in touch, in case one of his other love flings fall apart. Wake up. if he wanted to be with you, HE WOULD BE WITH YOU and not some other person. If he wanted to be with you, you would not be asking this question. The word for today is DUMP. find someone else.
  • I have read each of the preceding 12 answers and see the personal experience each brings to their answer is valid good advice. You may identify with one of these answers and run with it. However, I would like to recommend an open mind on your part, because your ex may not fit any of these scenarios. If you are truly interested in his return, you need to keep an avenue open to accept his return. If he is not yet mature enough to continue his relationship with you, you need to know why you should wait. The question for you is, do you want him under any circumstances or are there certain situations that you will not accept. Next time he calls tell him that you want some straight answers or don’t call back. Ask the questions face to face and note his body language. If he looks to his left when he answers his answer is probably a lie or fabrication. Ask the questions suggested by the others who answered here, and if his answers are acceptable then give him some time. You don’t want to wait forever so give him a time limit too based on your needs.
  • My ex did this was giving me silly false hope it does not do you any good. It will on dleay the process of you moving on . He prob wants you on a string incase decides he wants you back sometime. Dont do it to yourself chick. Delete his number ignore his calls. I he wanted be back he just would , he is just keeping you as an option
  • it seems like this is a completely common relationship situation. i would assume that he is either insecure and doesn't want to completely let go in fear that you will move on, that he doesn't want to start over with someone else until he finds someone who is worth it, or he actually means it and he's sincere. you can only judge how you take this since you are the one who truly knows him best. if you would classify him as not being the most trustworthy boyfriend, please move on because it will be easier in the long run. if he seems like he's putting the relationship on hold for a justifiable reason, then trust what he tells you.
  • The same thing happened to me-all I can tell you is you should never talk to him again. If, and if, you are the one that got away-he will find you. When a man is sure-he is sure. I too was dating a med student who gave me the same load of crap-you are the most beautiful girl I know, sorry to call you, blah, blah. I bought into it because I truly was in love with him and thought he was being truthful. What I should have done was said good-bye at the very least for my dignity-I hope you did or will do the same. You don't deserve it.
  • Do Not Speak to him again!!! He is sick and playing with you. If he wants you...........he would be there right now. not talking baout it. ask any guy.
  • Do Not Speak to him again!!! He is sick and playing with you. If he wants you...........he would be there right now. not talking baout it. ask any guy.
  • Maybe its his twisted way of trying to make himself feel better about dumping you, which he might acheive if he thinks you still want him, and feel ok about being dumped.
  • This is his way of keeping you on a string...he doesn't want you but he doesn't want anyone else to have you. I have been in that same scenerio and it is no fun. Ignore this guy....he is just playing cat and mouse and you deserve better. If he truly wanted to be with you he would be with you!
  • Not only is it unrealistic, but this jerk is palying you. All those calls are to give you false hope so you don't find somebody new. He just wants a back up chick. And you're an easy target. Believe me I have been there and done that. You need to stop taking his calls.
  • I agree with most answers from others to this question. This man is keeping you on standby just in case his current target turns him down or doesn't work out. Stop taking his calls and move on.
  • No .. dont fall to the trap... my ex did the same thing for a year until he went to another city and then started avoiding me when i found that he found a new girl
  • tell him to fu*k off. No. Be polite better, but keep this in mind. People like this are insecure, and they don't wish you any good. Why do you need a man who doesn't know if he wants you. Forget it. I am 99% sure you are waisting your time. The fact you might be the most beautiful girl to him doesn't change a thing. You can be that to another 1000 people in the world. And those people will be good to you, love you and will want a relationship. Keep that beauty and move on.
  • Sounds like he's telling you what it takes to keep you around just in case that's what he wants down the road. Don't let yourself be his "option". If he really feels all the things that he is saying, he would want to be with you now, not maybe, possibly sometime in the future. Let him go and have the faith that eventually you'll find someone that can't be without you, not someone who might want to be with you.
  • He's playing you. Get him back by in the future getting wiht him and then do the exact same thing he's doing to you
  • Sounds like he's horny and doesn't have a date at the moment. just my opinion.
  • So, he wants you to sit areound and wait for him to decide that it is a good time to get back together with you? I bet you anything he's out screwing around, and having fun with all sorts of people. I would not wait on him. If, in the future, you meet up, and are both single, you can talk about getting back together at that point. Definatly take a break from this guy. It sounds like he's stringing you along.
  • Oh I get it!!...you sit and wait for him while he runs around and has all the fun..until he comes back to you and, of course, you are still waiting there for him and welcome him back with open arms. It's a wonderful fairy-tale..The unfortunate part is that he is abusing his power over you, emotionally. This is a power play--make no mistake about it. Don't wait for him..go out and explore life on your own.
  • He doesnt' want you to screw anyone else while he is DECIDING what to do with his life. Meaning, he wants to screw around with other women while you sit home with your legs crossed. Once he meets someone else out there, he will call less and eventually stop calling. He will make an occasional call to you to make sure he keeps you in reach in case he discovers the grass is not greener. The way for you to combat this is to let him know that you are dating other people. I'm sure it's flattering to you for him to call and tell you how great you are.....but remember he broke up with you.........I'm sure you're a great person, but he is just not ready to be in a committed relationship yet....he wants to experience more women. There is nothing wrong with him being indecisive......just make sure you're not sitting around waiting for him to decide to choose you........he wants and option-to-buy without signing a contract!
  • Your boyz a player and you're the reserve chut... don't open for him. Let him splat on the ground.
  • No so come have some fun with me!
  • My first thought, he just wants to hook up? or He wants to continue being close/friends. Either way, I wouldnt count on getting back together. Not to mention I wouldnt get back with him. It all depends on the reason he broke up with you.
  • god. i'm goin through the same thing as we speak. it's hell. except he's with another girl right now and he can't make up his mind if he should dump her and try it again with me. i'm sorry hun i know how you feel. he's probably not worth it. i agree with everyone that's answered your q and it's def opened my eyes. good luck and be strong :)
  • it is realistic.
  • He is just looking for some fee makeup sex!!!!!!!!!!!! be flattered you were that good in bed!!!
  • Sounds like he's keep you as a 'life boat' in case his ship sinks. Lol i got that off 'two and a half men'
  • He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to have you on the back burner should what he is having now fall through. You need to mae yourself happy as if you are not good to yourself you are no good to anyone else. Be strong and move on and let him see the mistake he has made!
  • If he has a good, logical reason for not wanting to get back together now (having a happy relationship is not a good logical reason if that's his excuse) than yes. If not, he's just leading you on, and that makes him an a-hole.
  • My answers different. But its just from my experience and not many guys out there like this so listen. I went threw this same thing about a year and a half ago. After 4 months we faught, broke up mutually and he just stoped talking to me!!! for two weeks and played the same mind game with me for 2 more weeks. Only it wasnt a mind game...i found out later after we got back together that he was scared of being in love, he never felt that way before and he didnt know how to handle us fighting. Acouple months later he broke up with me again, which was my fault because i became scared over the last break up and i was way to clingy and bitchy. The whole month we talked off and on and he told me he loved me so much and wanted to get back with me. We got back together and havent had problems since! He is sooo into me and he never does anything that he thinks will bother me! He regrets breaking it off with me. Just remember not all guys are like this so be careful, and make sure your guy doesnt have another girl! let me know if he does and how things go okay?!
  • It sounds to me like he wants to keep one foot in the door. He wants you to be his "Plan B" in case whatever he's doing that is causing him not to want to be with you now falls through. You are way better then someone's plan B. Move on to someone that will treat you like Plan A. Good luck!!
  • He's keeping you on hold, baby. Time to hang up on him.
  • He's stringing you along.I'm sure you can find someone who will treat you well:)
  • he has some1 else and wants to keep you on a string incase it dont work out i been here b4 screw him and find some1else or your going to feel like 2nd best forever
  • he closed the door but wants to keep the key... nail it shut!!!!!
  • He's playing a game. A mean one.
  • Sounds like he wants to keep stringing you along in case something doesn't work out for him! Don't fall for it!
  • I have been in this situation before.. But in my case it never worked out.. We never got back together but anyways I honestly think that he is just using you as a fall back because come on think about it.. You guys broke up 3 monthes ago and if he really wanted to be back together with you it prolly woulda happened by now.. My best bet would be to just move on.. Im surre you could do alot better then someone who is just keep on making excuses..
  • the same thing is happening with me right now. my bf of 2.5 years is just about to start med, which is really stressful and he is worried what it will do to us. we broke up over it. he wanted to get back together a few days later but i said no because he's really confused at the moment. for both of us we see each other in the future but perhaps not just now. i think if you let one another go to grow and fulfil dreams than that is what love is. and if they come back to you knowing that you sacrificed your feelings for their dreams than that really is fate. but in my ase we both have the same idea of letting go to get back together later when our lives are figured out. whether this works or not remains to be seen but through this situation i have found an amazing number of couples i know who have broken up or taken a break for a while and ended up together.
  • He is stringing you along. He wants the feeling of you adoring him, of being in control and having you at his beck and call, but like a trophy, not with any of the real relationship stuff. Tell him to "b*gger off and get a life", its the biggest favour you can do him.
  • maybe he don't want to hurt you
  • Know the game ma, usually men say what they feel, and I'm sure he feels that way, but it's also called "keeping you close". You know, just in case what he's working with now, doesn't pan out. I do it all the time to my men LOL. Show him what's up. Miss a call or two. Let him see someone else feels the same way. Let him know it's on YOUR time if you guys we reconnect. Not him. Keep the ball in YOUR court.
  • dont sound realistic to me

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