• Do not put any money toward it. His visit with his daughter, his money. If he wanted things 50/50, he'd be your husband.
  • will your daughter be upset you stood in her way of seeing her dad? How long since she's seen him? Put her needs first.
  • Juju---do not pay a dime...NOT A DIME. HOW LAME IS THIS?????
  • Tell him you'll throw in an ''S'' on his ''ticket'' yo...;)=)
  • Wow, I was all set to talk about how it's up to the two of you how to handle this, how you have visitation set up, how you handle the bills, blah, blah, blah.... Then I read all the other comments so far, and then looked at your profile and then thought: "What an inconsiderate *ss this guy is!" I do not know what your income circumstances are, what with him not paying child support or anything else. Presuming you have an income of your own, then the possibility reasonable exists that you CAN possibly afford the money to go half way. Note that I did not say you SHOULD. Personally, if the limited information I have at hand is accurate my opinion is he needs to get off his *ss and start owning up to his responsibilities. Until then, he can fork out the 400 bones from his own pocket. But that's just my OPINION. You have the facts, not me. The decision is entirely up to you and there are a LOT of things to consider here. Considering that the divorce has yet to come anywhere near being finalized, there may be no court order concerning custody. It is possible to get such a court order prior to the divorce. I do not know what state the divorce is filed in, but if it's not the state YOU are currently a resident in, then you could end up with some serious issues in terms of travel, out of state expenses, and so forth during all the procedings. Now, on the subject of sending your daughter up to New York: If there is no court documentation concerning custody and visitation, then have you considered the ramifications of his deciding to keep custody of your daughter in New York? This shifts the game table considerably in the divorce. Especially if the divorce was filed in New York and you reside outside that state. If you have no court documentation saying that YOU have custody, or at least joint custody, with appropriate rules set forth for both parents to follow, then there may be absolutely NO legal reason why he could not retain custody of your daughter in New York because he IS her legal father. Child support: IS THERE ANY COURT DOCUMENTATION REQUIRING HIM TO PAY A SET AMOUNT OF CHILD SUPPORT? If there is, then he MUST pay it. And his military command would frown heavily on him for not meeting his obligations. In terms of what a judge would think, even if he didn't have anything in writing telling him he had to pay anything, if you were to go to court down the road and the judge found out he had payed NOTHING, then that judge is gonna be p*ssed. The judge will be concerned with the welfare of the child...and it's the father's responsibility to provide for the care of any of his children. Get your attorney involved in this. This is BS. He is honor bound to care for his family, PERIOD. Now, back to the ticket: You CAN pay for half, if you choose (and are able). That is up to you and your reasonings are your own. If you feel there is minimal risk involved in sending your daughter up to be with her father and decide to toss in the $220, then the valuable message that you would send to her (that her needs outweigh petty bickering between you and her Dad) will be with her as she grows up. If you feel that you should NOT meet him half way on this, for whatever reason, you need to carefully look at your reasoning and make sure it's NOT just because of bitterness or vindictiveness. Your daughter WILL pick up on this and that lesson will also remain with her as she grows. Kids are SMART! They pick up EVERYTHING we do. That's why I advise you to look at your reasons closely. I am divorced from my first wife also. I will not go into details except to say that it was the most horrible experience I've ever been through and I would not wish my ex-wife on my worst enemy. Through all the h*ll I've been through, I NEVER bad-mouthed my ex in front of my kids, I stayed away from vindictive behavior, and refused to allow myself to sink to her level. Yep. I've been shafted big time on some things. But even with all the cr*p I'm sure she has filled our kid's heads with, if the only positive thing that ever comes out of all this is that they KNOW their father acted honorably, then at least they have that. And maybe that will be what breaks the cycle for them. I hope you and your husband can eventually come to terms with each other over this divorce. Personally, I'd love to hear from more people where a divorce ended in something OTHER than two bitter enemies playing tug of war with the kids. Like maybe, child support payed on time, visitation always going well, and various expenses discussed intelligently and worked out mutually for the child's benefit. Good luck!
  • Of course you should! And by the way, the cruise he'll take with her will cost $3000.... Would you happen to have an extra $1500 lying around? He sounds like a real keeper. I wonder why you're not still together...
  • Its for your daughter's well being- not yours. Think about the child not your vengeance.
  • If you pay half you are actually paying him to see his own child! That is messed up but I've been there and done that myself. I now tell my ex what he is going to do and where he is going to do it because he pays no support, has no insurance, and has never bought school clothes. It's pretty easy to set all the rules once you put your mind to it.
  • Your husband should be the one who pays.
  • no, you shouldnt pay for the ticket. he should be responsible for any travel arrangements for his visits with his daughter. he is a grown adult and he should act like one. you are no longer married, and you should not be obligated to carry him. any expenses for his visits with your daughter are his responsibility ~ he should have considered the travel expense prior to choosing to be so far away from her.
  • He should pay for the whole trip, he is the one that moved away, not you.
  • if your daughter is crying to see the father, then I would think you (if you could afford it) would let her go. i do agree he should pay, however as a mother, I still sometimes do things just to please my child. good luck to you and your daughter
  • The fact of the matter don't have to. If it something he wants for her then he should be willing to pay for it. However, I would also take into consideration that this is for your daughter. Is it something that she would really like to be able to do?!?! If so, is it worth taking that away from her just so you can "stick it too him", for lack of better words?
  • He left you and your daughter, so you shouldn't have to pay for any of the ticket. Not only that, but how about telling him that you're not going to let her go unless he pays you the child support that he owes you? However, if your daughter really wants to go see him then my second proposal would be negotiable. ;) Also, what measures have been taken to ensure your daughter's safety on the trip?
  • She's half your child so you should pay for half the cost.
  • I think you should split the cost.
  • I think you should chip in half of the money. I think it is important to have the chance to see both their parents. I am assuming that you have physical placement, or custody, of your daughter. Are you recieving child support. Child support funds are intended to be used for the childs needs. This would definately qualify as a need for your child.
  • How much does your daughter get to see him........think about the children instead of's not about money it's about your daughters emotional insecurity that she'll be living with growing up without her father. Yes he should pay for it but who cares really.
  • no i would not pay that much for her i'll take her myself. less money to spend.
  • I think he should pay all of it since it's so she can see him! I think he should pay for visits with his own child; why should you have to pay for it?
  • If you're the one that moved. you should pay all of it.
  • You are not obligated~ but it may benefit you if you had something to do at this time if you had a lot of mney~~ maybe but if you are like most people~ sorry~my funds are low it is more your choice then anything

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