i would personally prefer to be told of my husband straight away as i look at it we can only sort out the problem if we know about it. not only that to hear it off someone else is far more devastating to me.

Absolutely yes.

Yes he is obliged to tell her - and as soon as possible; otherwise he will carry the guilt around for ever. Having gotten away with it once he is also more likely to do it again next time he is away from home and drunk because he will think there are no consequences.

Definately! I believe you always have to be honest in relationships and well, if you do something you shouldn't then you may have to pay some consequences......

The key to this is the statement "knows it was a morally wrong act." There is no obligation to act as such - it is a matter of what you feel YOU should do - and you have answered this yourself. An act that you feel is ,morally wrong will eat away at you - better to deal with it. You might like to also examine why you got drunk and had a one-night stand which you feel is morally wrong when you also state you have a happy marriage and one presumably based on the idea of fidelity to one person. There is something not quite right there. Are there problems you are not facing?

He is actually obliged to tell her because he may have risked her health with sexually transmitted diseases, including crabs and body mites that condoms just can't protect you from. He needs to investigate the risk of the other woman falling pregnant since if he and his wife have or plan to have children nobody wants them to meet and unwittingly hook up. He needs to tell her so that he can face the consequences of his actions as they apply to his wife also, the emotional and legal repurcussions are important to deal with. But he must not make this the burden of the wife. She may have her own commitment and fidelity issues but he strayed for his own reasons and he needs to be accountable to those reasons. But. He should try to seek help and convince his wife to seek help also. If he has done it once he may do it again and she may have trust issues or commitment issues herself. Promises and Forgiveness in itself is not enough and Divorce really is a last resort since he and she are in it presumably until death do them part so even though infidelity has traditionally been a deal breaker there is a lot of support nowadays that may heal the wounds that he inflicted on their 'happy marriage'.

NO. This type of honesty is not something that is productive or helpful.