ANSWERS: 84
  • NOT YET. How are you reacting?
  • I would be very upset. That is not responsible behavior for a husband and father. He should be home with his family. 4-6 nights a week? Does a paycheck/sperm donor live with you or a man? Not trying to be rude but that is above and beyond unnacceptable if you ask me.
  • Don't mean to sound rude and unconstructive, but your husband sounds like a bit of a git!Have you asked him why he doesn't think you should get upset? Ask him how he thinks he would feel if the situation were reversed and the person that was supposed to love him the most gave the impression of wanting to spend more time away from him than with him. If he say's it wouldn't bother him, you may have an over simplified answer of what to do next. Hard as it would be.
  • No yor not over reacting because if it were you,he would have a big problem.
  • You're not overreacting. He needs to learn to consider your feelings, and take a good, hard look at his priorities. He has an expanding family now, and with that comes great responsibility. Sounds like y'all could use some couples counseling. And, I know you didn't ask, but if it were me, I'd threaten to leave by a certain date if he didn't stop this nonsense, and then follow through if he continues this or other negative behavior. Don't let him treat you and the kids like this.
  • No, you are not over-reacting. He is invalidating your feelings. http://eqi.org/invalid.htm
  • overreacting? that's completely unfair, he wants to go out with friends, I can understand that but he is abusing you. Do you guys share responsibilities at home? when do you get to go out while he takes care of the house and kids? you could as well use some time off for whatever you like. If there is no balance then it's not fair.
  • He's the only one who works? And you're at home with a 21 month old AND pregnant? Guess what. You work 24/7. What's his schedule like?
  • You're not overreacting. People have a right to their freedom, but what he's doing to you is unacceptable. If he thinks his job cancels out his need to be present and sober for his wife and child, then he is seriously off base. Sit him down on a night where he hasn't been drinking and tell him how hurt you are. And that you're worried about him hurting himself that way. Don't yell or scream, and if he does raise his voice, tell him you feel threatened and would like to continue having a civilized argument - not a fight. Best of luck to you.
  • It's call coda (Co-da) it's designed for unhealth relationships just as you are in. You need very much to set some boundaries. Violence is what it is, yelling, calling names, etc. How about sex--? I'll beat when he wants it he can be the sweetest person you think you know right!!? Just leave yourself one time for the evening. Just get up and say, I'll see you later I'm going out. And go, who cares where, sit in the park for a few hours. But expect a fight when you get home. Then let him know, if he can go out for hours at a time drinking with out letting you know what and where, then it is perfectly alright for you to do the same. I mean come on wake up, quit mistaking love for fear.
  • How does your apparent alcoholic husband work, if he's gone to bars 4-6 nights a week until 2-6 in the morning? what kind of job can be worked during those hours? To answer your question. he cares more about his "nightlife", than you or the children. if this is truly happening, you are in prison. you are trapped and he knows it. how long have you two been married? you are not over reacting and you and the kids need to get "the heck out of dodge". pack everything and everybody and leave. It appears he has it made and you are allowing this to happen. he either has you snowed or is a genuis at being a control-freak. he has you where he wants you....home and tied-down with children. Run, don't walk to the closet, break out the suitcases and pack the childrens clothes. call a friend, call a parent, call anyone, just make a call and have someone take you out of "glued" life. I detest controlling people. using any and everything for their persoanl gain, while tieing down the people and children they should love and staying home with. If you do not make this move now, you will be his slave forever. sorry for the word, but it fits the situation. Next, will be domestic violence. GO.
  • I was in your shoes, it took me 14 years to leave. I didnt want my kids to come from a broken home, but better to come from one than to live in one. I cried myself to sleep a lot then woke up crying cause I woke up. My kids deserved better. I deserved better! Then I realized people will only treat you in a way that YOU allow them to. So remember that in your next relationship. If you can't do this for yourself..do it for your children. Do you want your son to grow up and treat his partner (key word; Partner) like that. Or worse have your daughter be treated like that. They will grow up thinking it is ok if you do not leave or tell him NO MORE!, and stick to your guns. Don't wait 14 years for happiness..cause it is out there..I found it!
  • no not at all. I believe that you should get 1 night out a week each. 1 night for just the 2 of you and one day you and your children. so friday night for him saturday for you maybe monday or tuesday you and him sunday with the kids. no perent single or not should be going out 4-6 nights a week.
  • If there isn't a chance that he could be violent, than i would suggest that you give him a taste of his own medicne. On one of the rare nights he decides to stay home....you go out. Stay out late and see how he likes it. Because going out is one thing. But almost everyday sometimes all night long thats crazy. And by the way the question I would be asking is he really at the bar until 6 in the morning? The only reason I wonder this is because you said he dosen't answer his cellphone while he's out. And unless he is an Alcoholic who actually goes to the bar that many times in a week, except single men. And i don't know many single men that go that much eithar. Sorry your going through this. Take Care
  • no gurl u should b lmad u r pregnant and ya'll already have a child gurl he should stay wit u @ home n be thinking about u nd ya'll kids
  • No you are not over reacting, This sounds like a unhelty relationship to me. Instead of just getting sad and crying you should sit down and talk to him, set up boudaries. This is you`r marriage also, just beacuse he brings in the bacon doesnt mean he can treat you however he feel. Not answering his cell phone when he is out late, and thinking this is not a problem, Is a problem in itself. If this was my husband I would just tell him that it is unaceptable!! Ofcourse you should be alowed to go out and have fun once in a while, but not all the time and not whitout open and honest comunication. You need to start setting boundaries or you need to get in touch with CODA or a counsilor in your area. It makes me sad to hear that you have such difficulty comunicating the simplest message to your husband and that he is so unwilling to listen.
  • No you are not over reacting
  • wild goddamn horses couldn't drag me away from my child. and i love my wife more than ever for giving him to me. he should want to be home. if not there's either a huge problem there, or something is going on. i could see him wanting to go out once a week or a couple times a month but that's retarded. he's also spending money better spent on kids stuff. god knows kids are anything but cheap. please, whatever you do, try to work it out first. i'm sure you COULD raise two kids on your own. but that doesn't mean is a good idea. its a last resort. but no you aren't over re-acting
  • Please dont wait until violence starts. You need to get yourself together and get help. This is an unhealthy relationship and you deserve better as do your kids. Get out now, while you still can. Babies need their momma to be strong for them too.
  • No of course you are not over reacting . This man is behaving like a fancy free teenager instead of a married man with family responsibilities He is in my opinion treating you like a person whose feelings have no value whatsoever He is obviously a very selfish self obsessed man
  • I would say that he is neglecting you. Let me just point something out. If you were to work and send the child to daycare, how much would you be paying for that child to be watched. Anywhere from $300 to $500 a month. But that is usually for a 8 hour day. You are being a Mother 24/7 so triple that number I gave you. Next, if you make the food, how much do cooks get paid, anywhere from $10-$20 an hour, so figure that in to the cost, plus all the shopping you do for groceries. It all adds up too. Not to mention you are pregnant, in which your hormones are all over the place, and you have another child to take care of. If you are doing all this work with no help, you are pushing yourself to having a break down. Since you have a husband he should take on some of the responsibilities. Raising children so they are great in the long run, is the hardest work there is in this world. THERE IS NO DEBATE. If you want your children to be raised right, and grow up to not cause trouble in the society, then it is definitely a 24/7 hour job, because if you make a mistake you have to repair it with your child, and make sure things are okay. One night a week going out with the guys is okay. Just like YOU should have one night out with the girls a week and he takes care of your 21 month old. After you give birth, you no the drill, you will have to take the baby everywhere with you, even on your girls night out. I would lock you and him in the room, so he can't leave, or hide the keys or something, because you definitely need to talk...Well, I am just joking, but my point is, YOU BOTH NEED TO TALK TOGETHER. He is neglecting you, and not seeing you of worth, in which YOU ARE. When talking, a word of advice, don't talk down to him like he is pathetic, because he will just get mad. I hope this helps.
  • Get out and collect alimony and child support. He's not worth it.
  • Hell no! You're not overreacting. However, rather than get mad, try to stay calm and ask him to think honestly about why it is that he's going out so often and for so long. It's not just that he's going out so often and leaving you alone with your child but that he's most likely spending money when he goes out. I don't care if he works and neither should you. You work 24 hours a day. Being a parent is a constant thing - you don't just get to hand a child back at the end of the day when you're the parent. There's no doubt that he's stressed out - work stress, family stress etc, but that doesn't mean he gets to run away and have play-dates till all hours of the morning. And how on earth is he getting sleep? According to my figures (and I'm notorious for being bad at maths), he's sleeping somehere - whether it's at work or home - I'd say home but then that means the time he should be spending with you, your child and your future child is spent asleep. Perhaps you need to organise a babysitter and then go out with him one night and see what happens. Or even get him to babysit and go out with your girlfriends yourself. I'm sorry but I'm not seeing a happy outcome to this situation but I do hope things work out for you.
  • no u r not overreacting.He needs to knw his responcibily which i guess he dont knw.n u r pregnent!dnt he even knw tht u needs him at this condition?u guys really hv to talk about all this...k...
  • nah, pet. he's shagging round I reckon. It's only my humble opinion but i'd dump his ass. But then you have got two kids. sort of. take him on Ricki Lake or something.
  • Hub is screwing you. And someone else too in those bars. Cut off the sleeves of every one of his suits. If he has no suits, then cut off one leg from every pair of pants he owns. Send him on his alcoholic way. And maybe you should take the baby and go to a few bars too. You are allowing a man who pays the bills to use you. Forget about that. Get your own job. Drop him.
  • You are not overreacting. You are under reacting.
  • Going out that often and being a parent as well as a working adult sounds a bit rediculous to me and I am a guy and Father of 3 children as well. I admittedly go out once a week on the weekend with my buddies but that sounds a bit too much. He may be up to no good - and to quote a frined - nothing good happens after midnight. tell him to change now or U will leave quickly and divorce his butt.
  • sounds like a sh*tty situation. sorry to hear about it. why don't people understand that raising children is the hardest work ever and not only that it is unpaid labour. i think your husband needs to understand what kind of situation he is putting his family in. but the hard part is that you can't make him see it. you can try communicating with him, maybe marriage counselor? but it most definitely sounds like an unsustainable situation where you aren't going to be happy which will also affect your kids and they definitely don't deserve that. make a decision and stick with it. if you want to give him another chance set limits and if he doesn't respect them then seriously consider how you want your life to be. and that of your kids. good luck.
  • I would say that if he was only going to the bar on the weekends with his buddies or at max 3 times a week it would be overreacting. 4 to 6 times a week and staying out til 2 or 6 in the morning is extreme. With a young child around as well it makes it worse yet. He shouldnt have absolute say just because he has a job but anybody who does work for a living and to support his whole family should have some chance to relax and unwind. I think a good motto is everything in moderation. He may have a drinking problem or maybe not but if he does pure logic probably wont help. Good luck.
  • No, you are under reacting. Especailly if he's telling you stuff like you're crazy for crying. In fact you'd be crazy if you didn't cry. He's an immature and irresponsable jackass who's just going to put you through hell. And more then likely he's cheating on you too. You need to get out now. Take those kids and run.
  • There's not much more to say...but it sounds to me like this guy is a pretty good ASSHOLE...who is abusing you emotionally and verbally...and I agree with John...physical will probably be coming along as soon as he realizes you have had enough... So..first...get your information...do not talk to him about it while you are getting your information...Call women's services...it's a start and they may be able to suggest a good attorney. Once you start talking to the attorney...do not fight over tupperware...fight about the important things...YOUR KID'S SUPPORT...your support (you've been working too 24/7 keeping his house, doing his laundry, cooking his food and caring for his kids...YOU'VE BEEN WORKING!) Fair and reasonable division of any property you own jointly, bank accounts, real estate and remember in most states this includes any debt you own jointly as well! Line up a safe place to go with your children, take clothes, medications, paperwork with account numbers on it, phone numbers for your Doctors, any other records you might need on important things. DO NOT allow yourself to feel overwhelmed...EVERYTHING will work out...and you will be safe, your children will be safe...and you will have the chance to rethink what you want to have in your life, and how you deserve to be treated and loved. He will have to pay child support...and a father who gallivants about as he has...drinking will not get custody...maybe joint...IF HE GETS HIS ACT TOGETHER, otherwise he'll end up with supervised visits AND STILL PAY CHILD SUPPORT! YOU are not out of line in your feelings at all...he is a jerk and a controlling, manipulative twit! You can sure try counseling...if he will go and apply himself...that would be great...but I'm not holding MY breath on it.
  • Have you asked him what he does for the hours after the bar closes? Over-reacting? If you even have a doubt, I would say you are under-reacting. Sounds like you are probably lonlier than you would be if you lived alone.
  • Auntie Em hit the nail on the head when she mentioned that no one but you can tell you what you can and can't be mad about. It's sad, but true: people treat us exactly the way we ask them to. It seems to me that you haven't been asking to be treated that well. There's two truths here that you have to face up to: A) he doesn't respect you, if he did he'd show you some B) he will continue to treat you this way until you stop it. You don't mention any other problems, but I'm sure that him staying out every night to the wee hours of the morning is just the tip of the iceberg. Oh, and just because he's the only one who works does not mean that he is the only one who makes a contribution to the family. There was recent study done by a reputable magazine (Forbes or Money) that stated the average "salary" for a stay at home mom is equal to about $140,000 a year. That is what your husband would have to pay people to have everything that you do for him. To answer your question, you're not overreacting. My boyfriend would be eating his own balls if he came home 4-6 nights a week at 2 in the AM.
  • NO you aren't overreacting. You are carrying a child, for god's sake! He should be at home with you, or at least SOBER, in case something should happen and you have to rush to the hospital. What does he expect you to do if something happens to you and he is off somewhere, drunk, or at home passed out after a night of partying? Better still, does he want you to have to raise two children alone if he kills himself while driving drunk? I went through this with my boyfriend when I was pregnant with my son. I had an 18 month old at home in addition to being pregnant also. Just because he works doesn't mean he gets some special treatment. YOU work just as hard at home as he does at his job, and besides that YOU'RE PREGNANT! You have every right to be upset at him for leaving you at home alone, pregnant, while he goes out partying til all hours of the night. Let him know that you're not looking forward to giving birth alone in the bathroom floor because HE'S not there for you, and if he's going to continue to emotionally and physically desert you, then you're better off having this baby somewhere else - where at least you'll have someone who gives a crap about YOUR health and the health of your baby. BOTTOM LINE: He needs to realize that he has other people to think about now, not just himself. If he can't do THAT, then he isn't cut out for fatherhood and you should probably think about hitting the road pretty soon.
  • Upset, I would be down right angry. There are several good answers above that say exactly what I would say so I am not going to repeat any. I will just say GOOD LUCK and BEST Wishes you deserve more.
  • No I dont think so. Once in a while maybe but not 6 nights a week. He should be home helping with the family.Or at least just being there for a little conversation for you. I'm sorry that he does that to you.Have you tried to talk to him?
  • You have every right in the world to be upset. And no, you defintely aren't overreacting either. I understand if your man wants to go out and chill with da fellas some nites, but it's a time and a place for everything. You are the mother of his children and you deserve to be respected too in the relationship. Now if he's going out to strip clubs, that's a whole new ballgame !!! Why go out for burgers if you got the cow at home. He needs to understand that spending time with you and your children is very important to the well-being of your family together. If he doesn't want to change his habits or even try to attempt to, kick him to the curb because you can do bad all by yourself.
  • This is a chronic problem, and he will only get worse. You have your children to think of, and you can get help. Go to the Women's Resource center in your town,,,there should be something like it. They will help you to leave and be able to help you get into a place of your own. He will have to pay child support, but it will come right out of his check, guaranteed, so you won't have to have communication with him at all. If he loved you and your children, he would seek help to stop.
  • No! You aren't overreacting! That is excessive, girl! Shoot, even a lot of bachelors I know don't go out THAT much! He's gotta have a reason he's going out so much-- and the guys aren't THAT much fun...if he works, isn't he tired? I'd get to the bottom of that b.S. once and for all--can you follow him one night and see what he's up to? That ain't right...
  • I wouldn't say you are overreacting! I'd be pissed too! But I do have to say that if you are going to continue to stay with him STOP having babies! LOL That way you can go out and enjoy more of your life rather than being stuck at home with a million kids! Good luck!
  • Apparently you have no male siblings to beat the fear of God and them into your worthless spouse.You need to leave him asap,both for your own good(and sanity)and that of your children-born and unborn.You probably suffer from low self esteem but do not realize it.Once you are separated,you(both)can work on your relationship,and if he is worth a damn,he will change his ways.Otherwise,23 skidoo!
  • Often, guys feel like being the "Bread Winner" is his part of the marrage/home organization. This guy needs to remember that he is also husband and father, not just the source of income. Often times when people feel overwelmed, they focus on the things they are best at, instead of the things they need to work on. It's clear that you are getting the short end of this stick. However, it my not be his intent.
  • I do not think you are over reacting. I am a man who works every day, but as you mature you realize hitting the bar all the time is not healthy for your marriage. I drink often, but I drink at home, and once in a while I'll have a few beers with the boys from work for a few hours. This is acceptable. I wold try and talk with him on setting guidelines that are acceptable to both of you. If you don't mind him hitting the bar a few times a week, and not until the wee hourse of the morning, that seems like an acceptable compromise unless he is having relations outside the marriage and then he will not be willing to compromise much. If he actually cares about you and his family he will sacrifice what is less important for what is truly important. If he keeps sacrificing you for his bar life, then you will know what is more important to him.
  • First of all no you are not over reacting so let me tell you what I did when my husband done that to me. #1 turn the tables when he is home tell him you need to go to the store have him watch the baby you don't have to go to a bar just go to the mall or to a friends house don't go home for awhile make it late then go home and when your husband ask where you have been for so long look at him and say I ran into a old friend you haven't seen in a long time and lost track of time. now he will be upset but thats ok just look at him and say don't get mad it was nothing
  • turn the tables and show him how it feels if you do him the he does you maybe it will open his eyes
  • Ummm, no, you're not over-reacting. He has no business going out to bars 4 to 6 nights a week. He has no business going out to bars 4 to 6 times a MONTH! He has you, a toddler, and another on the way and he needs to grow the hell up and accept his responsibilities! YOU are not his responsibility but his children are. I know there are those who don't see it that way but you are your own person, your own "human being" and you are responsible for yourself. So....step up to the plate and take control of your life. It's amazing how much better you will feel about yourself when you refuse to be the victim any longer.
  • You are totally not over reacting. He has a responsibility to you and your children. Besides, I don't know where you live but hre in California bars close at 2 AM
  • I dont your well in your right to be pissed off.I would let him know its not good enough ,try and sort it out and tell him your not putting up with it ,Seeems to me he is only thinking of himself and he needs to grow up .If nothing changes and your still being treated this way ,TIME TO MOVE ON
  • Hell no I would be pissed too if I was in your shoes. I couldn't though cause I am not married or otherwise involved and I am a guy lol but anyway 1-2 nights a week with the boys should be plenty if it is not is is a sign of immaturity and he needs to grow the hell up. If he feels the need to be with his buds so much why not invite them over to hang out instead of going out and leaving you alone all the time. I would talk to him and let him know you are unhappy Good luck
  • Hell no I would be pissed too if I was in your shoes. I couldn't though cause I am not married or otherwise involved and I am a guy lol but anyway 1-2 nights a week with the boys should be plenty if it is not is is a sign of immaturity and he needs to grow the hell up. If he feels the need to be with his buds so much why not invite them over to hang out instead of going out and leaving you alone all the time. I would talk to him and let him know you are unhappy Good luck
  • Even though everyone who earns a living deserves to spend time with their friends or otherwise enjoy themselves, 4-6 days every week until mid-morning is excessive. When does he fit in his pregnant wife and child into his schedule? If the answer is much less than his other non-work activities then you have to do what's best for you. And if he's verbally abusive on top of being neglectful, that is no way to raise your children. Don't be afraid to leave just because he makes the money. You don't have to take that.
  • NOOO!!! you are defintely not over reacting!! i know its hard to say enough is enough, n im not even married but u deserve better!! anyone reading this is probably saying are u crazy? i wudnt deal with that?! but once youre there u feel stuck. but man, you CANT put urslf thru that.. it wud drive me mental thnkn about what hes doing. if theres potential i wud try to save the marriage. if not..im sure youre baby(s) are beautiful n a better man will fall in love with you and youre love bundles:D
  • NOOO!!! you are defintely not over reacting!! i know its hard to say enough is enough, n im not even married but u deserve better!! anyone reading this is probably saying are u crazy? i wudnt deal with that?! but once youre there u feel stuck. but man, you CANT put urslf thru that.. it wud drive me mental thnkn about what hes doing. if theres potential i wud try to save the marriage. if not..im sure youre baby(s) are beautiful n a better man will fall in love with you and youre love bundles:D
  • NOOO!!! you are defintely not over reacting!! i know its hard to say enough is enough, n im not even married but u deserve better!! anyone reading this is probably saying are u crazy? i wudnt deal with that?! but once youre there u feel stuck. but man, you CANT put urslf thru that.. it wud drive me mental thnkn about what hes doing. if theres potential i wud try to save the marriage. if not..im sure youre baby(s) are beautiful n a better man will fall in love with you and youre love bundles:D
  • You are definitely NOT over reacting. He's going out way too much and don't kid yourself that he's the only one that "works". You are putting in 24 hours a day right now. When do you get time off??
  • you are not overreacting. tell him to look at your situation. you have a 21 month old and you are pregnant. what is he doing to help and imagine how much more he could be helping if he didnt go out so much. you are definitely not overreacting.
  • this really sucks, by now you have two children. You are not over reacting. He should be able to go out one night a week but not every night. And 6 AM??? How about 11?!
  • You are not over reacting, he needs to have his ass home helping you instead of partying. you guys have a family he needs to be apart of it. and if he is not ready to grow up and help you, you need to get rid of him. I know you love him but he is not showing u he loves you or respects the fact you guys are a family.
  • You're not over-reacting - he is. He doesn't know what to do, so he stews in a drunken stupor as long and as often as he can. You need to sit down with him and have a long talk about what's on his mind. See a couples counselor when you can? Hell, tell him next time he has a good time, you'll come with as long as he's back when you're ready to go home. You need to get inside his head, but more importantly, he needs to get inside his. You two need to talk.
  • You are most definitely NOT overreacting. He is an alcoholic, no doubt. I have seen this before. If you haven't already, talk to him about this. He is being irresponsible and very hurtful to your relationship, which will lead to problems with raising your child. If he doesn't agree, get help from the family. If the family won't help, get our of the relationship. I truly hope that you have parents that can support you in your time of need... or anyone. I wouldn't tell you to move out on your own with a kid and being pregnant. Overall, this is a very serious matter. He shouldn't drink any more than 1 night out of the week, and since he is a father, this should be doubly important. He has a family. He needs to step up and be a man, or get out.
  • ABsolutely not! That is ridiculous, and I think that you deserve way better. Your hubby should be a father and a husband first and foremost. If it was a once in a while thing, where he went to the bar with a couple of buddies to blow off some steam, that would be one thing, but it is obviosly and addiction. I don't think it is right (even though he is the main income provider) that he is wasting all that money at the local pub when he could be investing it into his family (i.e. family vacations, educations funds...)
  • Definitely NOT. YOU DESERVE BETTER. EITHER HE STOPS OR YOU GET OUT. IT'S NOT GOING TO GET ANY BETTER, TRUST ME. UNLESS HE STOPS GOING OUT SO MUCH. BEEN THERE - DONE THAT. (FEMALE ANSWER)
  • It seems to me that you have every right to be upset. If he went to the bar every once in awhile and was home at a half-way decent time that would be different. When he was a single man without familial responsibilities that would have been going overboard but now he is married, with children and such behavior is completely unacceptable even if he is the only one leaving the house to work. He is a husband and father now and needs to act like it.
  • Time to wake up kiddo! Hubby needs to grow up or move out.Do you want this for the rest of your life? It didn't change with the first baby, it hasn't stopped him with the second pregnancy....you really need to get serious here. I'd also suggest some form of contraception after your next birth. Decide what you want for you and your children and then do somethign about it.
  • leave him...he's not taking his responsabilitys at all. if he wants to be a father he needs to be at home not the bar!
  • No, he needs to grow up.
  • No youre not! you both decided to have kids you both should be looking after them, not just you. He is acting like he has no responsibilities at home he aint some single bloke, he is a married man with kids and its about time he realised that and acted in the correct manner. What is the point of him being with you if he doesnt pull his weight with the kids and be there with you. Its fine to go out once/twice a week if you are hapopy with that but 4-6 nights a week is taking the P......and so is coming home at that hour.
  • You are definitely NOT overreacting!! Oh my lord, you sound exactly like I did only 5 years ago. I had the exact same problem and should have left, I really should have. I stayed because I found out I was pregnant with my second...scary/alone. He cheated on me, out until sometimes the next day!! If he is out there all the time--there are things he is doing that he is NOT telling you about. If he loves you and his family he would be there for you and at least tone it down to once or twice a week. I have learned that people DO NOT CHANGE, and the longer you stick around waiting for him to change...the harder it will be for you to go when you actually realize he never will.
  • NoooO!! You're not overreacting...my mother went through the same thing with her first husband to discover he was an alcoholic! And she had a child, and often would be locked out of the house because he'd be passed out and she wouldn't have a key to get in...
  • No not at all I am in a similar situation I have a seven month old and am also 3 months pregnant my partner started that old trick of 'I work all day so I need to go out and enjoy myself' I made him realise it is hard work at home with a baby to look after and a house to clean laundry to be done and dinner to be cooked. You need a break too. I waited for him to finish work got myself ready and walked out as soon as he walked in. he soon realised the difficulty of getting a babysitter etc ... explain you are not trying to stop him going out all together but you need time together too.
  • no your are not over reacting, im a 28 year old father and its being four years since my son was born, and i stopped going out to bars and donot hang out anymore except with my son and fiance of 10 years and i still have fun everyday, i dont miss it
  • no way! dont stay with this selfish git! go find someone better, or be on your own, with the kids, at least you wont be made to feel worthless?
  • U R DEF. NOT OVERREACTING SWEETIE GET ON HIS ASS THIS COULD MEAN CHEATING BELIEVE I NO
  • Okay, I'm a guy, and I have enjoyed going out but you are totally in the right on this one. From how you ask it, I think we can assume that you have self-doubts and alot of respect and care for how your husband reacts. He has to know that depth you have in this relationship and frankly his actions don't serve well as competition to your devotion. Sure he works, but what is it you are doing, a vacation? Look, guys like the macho feeling of territorail conquest and putting food on the table but we also don't have the foggiest idea how on God's green earth you Ladies do the carrying children, giving birth and emotional strength thing. Remember that. It's your ace-up-your sleeve. Use it: let him know that despite all his strengths that you would love to really see him perfomr as a man by conquering the famly thing. Use examples that relate to his abilities: the guys down the block who work too but spent Saturday ehlping their wives. Let him know that you are really alone here and that you amy be scared with the prospect of raising the children woithout the strong influence he can have in the home. Ask him straight out: does he think there may be a problem with the going out and does he need you help and, thi sis a big one: as a bright, smart, over-achieving guy who gets things done and never misses a thing, where does he think this behavious will lead? Calmly, in your sweetest yet strong-as-a-Mother take no crap in defense of your Children way let hime know that you will not continue like this and whether the legal papers hsould be sent to the office or his new residence or can we work this out together. On a lighter note, think of things to share with him that he missed that blow away whate ever he may have been doing. He may have become dispondent simply becasue you are now the Mommy and his wife is gone. However hard, get it back. you may be pregnant but he'd probably love to know that he missed a favorite dinner and you wearing his favorite perfume and getting him the remote etc. etc. Just like with the girls, the little things mean alot to us guys. When was the last time he got some affection, even if undeserving, he needs to be attracted back into the home. Let us know what you did. And, you know, prayer still works!
  • No he needs to either be in a relationship and consider your feelings or he needs to be single and be able to do what he wants w/o leaving you at home. It's time for him to grow up...but unfortunately some ppl never do.
  • Oh heck no. if he wants to live a single life, then do if full time. he had his time in that era of his life. This is a new era. Time to step up to the plate.
  • Tell your hub to go out with you and the kid and go out to bars only once a week. You are a family for god's sake!!!!
  • No, you are definitely not overreacting. I'd suggest a private investigator on this one. Bars close at 2. He's doing something else.
  • no your not over reacting he should take care of the family at home or is he dipping it somewhere else tell him to shape up or ship out you have a family to think of he surley is not
  • Your husband has no right to tell you how you can or can't feel. You are feeling abandoned and rightly so. His responsibility is to his family first, not his own personal happiness. If that is what he wants as his number one, then he shouldn't have gotten married and shouldn't have created a child, two children. You are not overreacting.
  • 1ST OFF IM ONLY 16YRS OLD AND I SAY THAT IF UR MARRIED AND HAVE TWO KIDS BY HIM WHY THE HELL WOULD HE WANT TO GO OUT EVERYNIGHT NOW I CAN SEE ON WEEKENDS BUT EVERYNIGTH HELL NAW HE'S A FAMILY MAN HE SHOULD BE AT HOME TAKING CARE OF HIS FAMILY UNLESS HE CHEATING THEN U NEED TO KICK HIM TO THE CURVE...
  • I was married to a guy just like what your describing...come to find out he was cheating and had been for sometime. After spending 12 yrs (from 18 yrs old to 30 yrs old) with a man like that I realized that he was not the guy for me. He was such a fun man, the laugh of the party kind of guy. I never wanted my marriage to end, but I was very unhappy. I finally went back to school, got my degree, went to work and started making 3 times the money he ever made. It gave me the fuel to leave because I no longer needed his help. He is now with another stupid girl, just like I was who also doesn't work and who has also now had a child with him. I am still making over $200,000 a year, have acquired many assets, and have re-married myself and had a child with my new husband. My new husband is the EXACT OPPOSITE of my ex. He never ever ever goes anywhere without me. He is home every day by 6 pm after work, we eat dinner as a family and we go to bed TOGETHER EACH NIGHT. I am 500 times happier and thank God daily that I got away from the 12 yr NIGHTMARE. Do not ever ever ever think that this is normal behavior for a married man to NOT be home with his pregnant wife and family. It is mentally abusive and selfish, inconsiderate and disrespectful behavior. It is also UNSAFE because the only people out that time of night are prostitutes, pimps, drug users, and direlecs. Now ask yourself which category does your husband fall in? Pray to God to give you the strength to find yourself and LOVE YOURSELF enough to demand the attention and love that you deserve. I did it and I PRAY EACH DAY that I did!
  • no you are not over-reacting at all.

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