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  • DONT! your screwed lol :P No siriously, I dont think there's any good way to break that kind of news. Just say it, and make sure you prepare some counter arguments for a debate!! Good Luck!
  • If you love this guy...dump him/stay away from him until you're 18 or he'll find himself in jail, regardless of your consent!
  • try to find out first how ur parents feel about it. try to ask them questions about it. but try not to make it too obvious. like "i have this friend..."
  • I don't think I would tell them right yet. Since you only 17 the chances of you 2 really staying together for any lenght of time is slim to none. I think I would give it a few months and if you 2 are still going strong then I would break it to them easy. BUT I really think you need to give some thought into what a 35 year old MAN really wants with a 17 year old child.
  • Don't break the news. Get over your infatuation, grow up!
  • You are making poor choices, which can be expected because of your age and maturity level, but he should know better. If you are being intimate, he may find himself in jail. Do both of you a favor, break it off before someone gets hurt.
  • try an rethink what your doing,give it time
  • This was going to be a comment but it wouldn't post under my already answer so I'll just stick it here. I'm not going to tell you it's right or wrong, that's something you will find out soon enough. In one year you will be "legal" and won't have to worry about the legal concerns that you are dealing with now, but you will still have to deal with the age difference. No matter how mature you think you are right now, you do NOT have the maturity of a 35 year old. If you are comparing your maturity to your boyfriend, then perhaps he's lacking growing up on his own. Whatever you decide, I wish you the best. Oh about telling your parents, why not tell your sister/brother or other trusting relative first to get their reaction, they could probably help you more than we answerbaggers because they know your parents. At any rate, good luck & be careful.
  • With smelling salts.
  • I honestly don't think there is any way to break the news to your parents if you don't want them to be disappointed in you. You may also want to rethink this. I'm all for the saying "love knows no age", but there are also times when it's a good idea to wait until you're older, and in certain situations, waaaaaaay older.
  • I don't think it's necessary to tell them yet. See how long this relationship lasts first. If it has staying power then when you are completely on you own it won't matter. I don't know you, so I have no way to tell if you are just infatuated or really in love. Since I too do not know the guy, I can't say if he's just using you or really cares. Since I myself have dated many women in my life from 10 years older to 20 years younger, I would go with my first impression. Give it time and see were it goes. Be cautious, please use protection if you are having sex, do not get pregnant. Live your life as though you were not with him in that you must get an education and build a life for yourself no matter who you are with. I would say the same things if he were 17 also. Time will answer all questions and your life is private. Even though you may still be under the influence of your parents you still are your own person with the right to do what you want to. At 18 those rights become more solid and at 21 there is no question about them. That's why I say time. If he really cares he will understand and even though at 35 it's difficult he should understand. One thing about him, if he doesn't have a job and is not working to better himself then he is not someone you can count on to have a long term relationship with. There is no question about that.
  • 1. Keep it to yourself until you've already left for college. After you've moved away to live on your own, your parents cannot control you and your choices so much. They would not abhor your decision as much as they would before you turn 18 because they should know that you make your own decisions once you're an adult. 2. Don't date him; date his son if he's within ~2-3 years of your age. Maybe his son is like his dad in ways that'll make you fall in love with him instead. 3. Or find someone else that you can fall completely in love with who is within 2-3 years of your age. If you have trouble finding that special someone in real life, try some web matchmaking services.
  • You might not be in love but infatuated with this person. This person may be arrested if someone notifies the police if he is having sex with you.
  • You might want to wait until you are 18 so if they take it badly he won't have to go to jail.
  • I tried posting this in the comment section but it would not post... Big Daddy Mar, 23 2008 at 08:07 PM You can't tell someone to grow up if you don't know them. Nothing she said made me feel she was immature. In fact her writing seems much more mature than then most people her age group on AB. My reply: Its not what she is writing, it's what she is doing. If she is involved with a 35-year-old man and she is still considered a minor, what do you think will happen? Maturity is not just writing well or talking good, it is based on decisions as well as accepting responsibility for your actions. This 35 yr old man will go to jail, the family will have to endure the issue of supporting their daughter thru the break up not to mention the public humiliation if it reaches the local papers. Then the 17 yr old will have to know that a person she cared about is in jail because no one had the courage to tell her the truth about her actions. She can do as she pleases, but the truth speaks for it self even if you don't agree. A real friend will tell you what you need to know not what you want to hear. Be a real friend.
  • Um...Is that necessary quite now? How long have you actually been seeing him? Any kinda this- is-going-to-break-my-parents-hearts news-- I would delay for a while. Many affairs/ relationships don't work out. If it is still going in a year, I say you break it THEN.
  • Remember, you are still a minor and he is an adult. Not saying this will not work out, but be sure to know ALL the background history of a person this age. Is he married? divorced? children? Ask lots and lots of questions before you fall head over heals in love with this person. How long before you turn 18? I would attempt to wait until my eighteenth birthday, before i released the news to your parents. They may or may not accept this, so be prepared.
  • Wow, your dad is young!
  • Honey, I wish I had good news for you. I know it is PERFECTLY possible for two people to be in love with your age difference - I've been there myself. I am 22, and my husband is 38. I met him when we were 19 and 35. And we have a WONDERFUL relationship. I know you have not had sex, you've said this before. But I'm going to tell you the truth: I know in MY state - Florida - it does not MATTER if the couple are actively engaged in sexual activity. Going on dates, having romantic conversation, kissing, hugging... ALL are considered foreplay. That's why it's called STATUTORY rape - Rape according to the Statute. The law is set up to PROTECT minors from being raped by older "boyfriends" that they may trust undeserving (not saying at all that this is your case). If you really love this man like you claim to, you WILL wait until you 18 to pursue the relationship, and let this man know that the two of you will have to remain the most chaste of friends until that time.
  • I seriously doubt that you are "in love"; infatuated more like it, so, as long as he's not like totally taking advantage of you, I would just wait it out before I decide to get my parents involved in it.
  • OK, the best way to tell your parents is this: Hey dad, I was thinking about being with this 35 yr old guy, but then I really thought about it, got grossed out cuz he's your age & changed my mind." Believe me, they'll be so happy they'll probably buy you a new car.
  • From a distance.
  • isn't that against the law?
  • Wait until you are 18.
  • As previously stated, I would wait until you are absolutely sure about your relationship, after it's been going on a while. And be sure to know his history.
  • I can tell you right now, as the mother of a 16 year old daughter, i am gritting my teeth reading this, and thinking that I want to just shake the living daylights out of you, and say what are you thinking? You , first off , need to be more focused on yourself, and your future.You are still a child! What about your education, some college, or are you still in High School? The man, is clearly way too old for you, and you are very inexperianced young lady. What do you think your parents are going to say? Do you want to hurt them by telling them this? Do you think that you are mature enough, to take care of yourself, if you did? What about a job? What about a place to live? Do you have money in the bank? All of these things, are things that you had better think about really good. I can tell you, that the man, is just going to play games with you, and he will eventually become bored with you, and think of you as a little girl, and what happens then? I can tell you, that he will not want that for long, and will be looking for a more mature woman, without all the childlike qualities. Hey- I am just trying to open your eyes from a moms point of veiw. Dont get involved with him sweetie, you are going to wind up getting hurt.
  • On April 1st, tell them that you're in love with this guy and that you're pregnant..........Say April fools to the pregnancy part but you're in love with this guy........may take the edge off..........a little.
  • I personally disagree with most who have criticized you. Although I think you should wait another year til you are 18 to pursue anything with this guy. There are too many legal ramifications for this guy if ou get involved right now at your age. As far as those who have called him immature for being inlove with a 17 y/o I don't think it's immature at all. He obviously sees things in you that he can't find in women closer to his age and there is nothing wrong with that. Wait til you are 18 and if you both feel the same for each other then by all means pursue a relationship. Don't let ignorant jerks tell you that is too big of an age gap. I know a girl in her 20's married to a man in his late 50's and they are very much inlove with each other so age doesn't matter when it comes to matters of the heart so long as you are oth consenting adults.
  • Woo, did I open a can of worms! I felt, that I answered the question the best that i could, and if maternal instincts is what it came across to you as, then by God, it was the right thing to say to her. Regardless of how you feel on age difference, I am not saying that it is bad for all folks, but for someone her age, its really just not a good thing. I mean come on we are talking about a 17 year old girl, and a 35 year old man! Thats jail bait! A 20 year old and a 38 year old is bit better, but even so, not by much! And as far as answering in regards to topics from the past, this is something that i have only just answered this time around. I have a 17 year old daughter ,and do you think, that if she came to me and told me that she was going to be with a 35 year old man, that i would be happy? I would fight her tooth and nail,because this is just not something for a child her age to think is a good thing. She is a child, first and foremost, who is just starting out in life, and needs to be with her girlfriends, and going to school, and learning how to have her first job, and not be so wrapped up in a 35 year old man, that I can promise you will tire of a 17 year old child,and that will not be as mature as she needs to be, to make the relationship last. And what if she winds up pregnant, with no education, what will happen to her then? Do you think that her parents will want to have to help her raise another child? She needs to find someone that is closer to her own age, or at least until she matures a bit more. Thanks ladies for taking up for me!
  • There is no good way of breaking the news. Do you still live at home??? I would be curious to know that. First and foremost because I have read many of the other users answers and comments to this question I will go ahead and say to anyone who does not agree with what I have to say here can just GET OVER IT. This is my opinion and I am free to give it and since I am a parent of a 18 year old daughter I feel quite qualified to give this answer. First, by all means set down and tell your parents but be prepared for fallout. In our country (US) there are laws against this for a reason. The reason is because MOST girls your age cannot understand the big picture and can be very much violated by an older man. First off how did you meet this man??? What do you know about him??? All of these are questions I would be asking as a parent. I am not trying to take away from the love you feel for him but you need to understand that he may love you or he may love the fact he has a young girl falling at his feet. Either way he is breaking the law so if your parents do not accept this understand that they have loved you for 17 years and only want what is best for you - thats what PARENTS DO - protect their kids.
  • you need to wait till your 18 otherwise your honey could get locked up... its compicated due to power imbalance and age lived but i know love makes us all blind. good luck.
  • Hi, Just wanted to comment on this because it really hits home with me. I was 18 when I met my ex, he was 35 but said he was 25. We had a couple good months, had some fun. I found out I was pregnant after 2 months, he was happy so was I. then he told me he got me pregnant on purpose, because he wanted 7 kids w/ different women, and because I was good w/ animals he thought I would make a good mom. Well... We broke up shortly after I found out I was pregnant, I left him. He has never wanted anything to do with our child, and fails to pay any child support even though he is very well off. I was a single mom for 5 years, it was a very very hard 5 years. I am not saying this will happen to you, I am saying be careful, please. Hopefully what you two have is true and you will be happy together forever.
  • Before even letting your parents know about this, why not just sit down with your close friends and discuss about this. Is this truly love or mere infatuation?

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