Don't trust her. If she really loved you she would want to prove her love by signing a prenup. Simple as that.

Realistically, you need to realize that you offended her. Some women don't understand the need for something like a prenup when they love the person and honestly don't see themselves not being with anyone else. Sit down with her and let her know that it's not only for your benefit, but for hers as well. Who knows if she is going to say, win the lottery or get into her chosen career field and make oodles of money, while you're still doing what you're doing. If anything were to happen with the relationship, her assets are protected as well. Everyone, essentially, is leaving with what they came with, nothing more. Another approach you could take is to let her know why you're insecure about the marriage happening without that paperwork. Maybe you're not sure that she's doing it out of love rather than for the paycheck that comes along with it? Maybe you've got some skeletons in your closet where women have used and abused you, and this paperwork makes you feel better because you know you're protected? No matter what the *real* issue is, you need to make sure that she's aware of it and understands it before the marriage takes place. Being able to openly and honestly communicate with your signifigant other REALLY helps a marriage last. When having that conversation, make sure that neither person starts to get defensive or starts making personal attacks. Avoid fighting or yelling or repeating yourself - try walking away or just taking a break from the conversation if need be. But make sure that everything - including your reason for needing one - is discussed.

And she can't really trust your love when you are all about protecting your assets. That is the catch-22 of the prenup. Even if you don't feel that way about the prenup and that isn't why you want it, that is the "emotional" message that it sends. Lots and lots of talking and maybe a 3rd party explaining the reasons it is a good idea for everyone is about your best hope at getting the girl and the prenup.

"I can't really trust her love unless." You two have bigger issues than a per nup. Good Luck

Oh, wow...maybe you should wait to get married. That sounds like a very big trust issue. Maybe she thinks that by you asking her to sign a pre nup, that you don't think that the marriage will last, and that offends her. Though, I'm sure you weren't thinking that intentionally, you are just trying to protect yourself, just in case. This is a very touchy subject. Good luck with it.

If you actually told her, "I can't really trust your love unless you sign a pre nup", you effectively called her a gold digger. It's all about how you ask - and your attitude is very revealing.

Pre-nups, in and of themselves, aren't an indication of trust versus true love versus ulterior motive. But what you put IN the pre-nup and how you approach it and use it as a bargaining tool IS. You should trust her love REGARDLESS of the pre-nup. The pre-nup should only be a protection in case things change down the road - for either of you. If you can't trust her - you shouldn't even be thinking about marriage OR a pre-nup at this point. Also, she might respond better if the pre-nup is not wholly one sided. It can't be all about you - because the marriage itself can not be all about you if you want it to be successful. What's in it for her? What if you cheat? Or abuse her? Or neglect her? Or change your mind and leave her? What proves she can trust YOU? Without balance, it is only natural for her to feel offended and threatened.

I can see your point from both sides. Apparently you do not trust your wife to be, for some reason. She now knows this and will never forget it. Bring it up again and you can expect another argument, maybe even at a higher level than before. If you are this distrusting of your wife before the marriage, what in the world are you expecting after the marriage? You are starting your marriage off on the wrong foot and i see nothing but a divorce, in the future. This distrust will ruin your marriage.

Bringing up a pre nup during an argument was not a wise thing to do. Now if you bring it up, it may cause another upset. My question to you... Why would you marry someone you do not trust? Does this make sense????????? You may want to rethink this whole marriage deal. If you don't have love, respect and trust now..then your marriage is doomed from the very beginning.

What does feminism have to do with a pre-nup? I'm a feminist, and I'm all for pre-nups. If I had one when I married, he wouldn't have been able to take me to the cleaners so effectively in the divorce. Now, if a pre-nup isn't something she is willing to sign, you cannot make her. If it is something you require, and she won't sign one, it should tell you that the two of you have incompatible requirements for marriage and need to go your separate ways and seek compatible partners. You also need to ask respectfully, and listen to her concerns/feelings on the matter. You may disagree, but that doesn't mean that her feelings are irrelevant or invalid. You also need to demonstrate that the prenup is fair, and that you are not trying to take advantage of her. In this, she will need her own attorney to review the prenup and advise her on it. She has as much right to protect herself as you have to protect yourself.

I am in favor of prenups..however, it should be a two-way street. Along with the financial "rules" and "regulations", there should also be some "rules and regulations" about fidelity, honesty and kind treatment of one another...no "domestic disputes", which means no one beats up anyone. If you are willing to have a three-dimensional, fair and equitable prenup, I would absolutely have no problem with it. But if it only benefits you, then "no deal"..because that means you are going into it focusing only on you and that is never a good basis for any kind of lasting relationship. :)

Someone is thinking about marrying you? Sorry honey but I think she needs to see a pyschiatrist first. Based on the vibe I get off of you, you are the farthest thing from "husband" material that I have seen in long, long time. Forget about the pre-nup and forget about marriage. I am just saving you from a nasty divorce a few months down the line. I expect you to hate this response and give me a piece of your mind. It would be wrong of me not to tell you the truth as I see it. You are far too young and wild to be confined to just one woman as I see it.

Stand your ground. Get a fair pre-nup--fair to each of you. 50% of marriages fail.

Get a pre-nup. It's best for both of you. But be fair! WE, yes we, would come up with a rational agreement regarding distribution of assets, (I would think it only fair that I keep for myself any family jewels, art, furniture, etc) and that any distribution of the remainder be based on those assets accumulated after our marriage. - There should be some attention paid to the duration of the marriage. Assuming that I was the earner, then she would get a lesser amount for the first years than she would for the later years--so if the marriage lasted only three years she would get very little compared to what she would get at the end of a thirty year marriage. More important to me would be custody of children. Assuming that she would be a good mother I would want joint/equal custody, perhaps with certain holidays spelled out

Wanting a pre-nup and not really trusting her love, sound like two issues - while linked - need addressing separately.

Eh, I don't think it's really an issue a true feminist would argue with. After all, a rich woman might marry a poorer guy, and might want a prenup. It's less common, but could happen. However, I'm wondering why you actually want to marry this girl. What do you gain from marrying? Remember, most prenups end up having some loop holes, and you get screwed, at least a little bit. Divorce is painful even when you have an ironclad prenup. Even separating after simply having lived together, unmarried, for a time, can be really nasty. I don't see why you'd want to do something silly like that, unless the sex is truly mind blowing, and you are marrying her to appease her, in which case, the prenup won't help with that, apparently. I'd also remind you that there are plenty of girls that you could enjoy that don't want marriage, at least not for a few months, that are equally good in the sack and fun at parties, and nice to talk to. You have to ask why anyone, including your girlfriend, would want to marry. You both could live for years or decades longer, hopefully. Is it realistic that you'll still be sexually attracted to each other that long down the line? No. Marriage brings with it expectations that are simply not consistent with human nature. Just don't do it. If she has a problem with it, then simply say that you want to be with her, but that you won't be comfortable with marrying her. If she leaves you, then so be it, there's others out there. If not, then you know she's just been bluffing. If she doesn't leave, but keeps arguing with you, threaten to leave her if she doesn't stop. See what happens. That will tell you what to do next. Remember, you should be the one in control of your own life. No one else.

That might not be your last fight. If you make a lot more money than her, it would make sense to protect your assets.

I love you, BUT... I can appreciate the pre nup and your reasons. You love this woman, you want to spend the rest of your life with her but you are not sure if it will work or if she is just out for your money! So, here you are wanting to eat your cake and still have it for later. Well, I have never been one in favor of a pre nup. Marriage is a covenant between a man, a woman and God. The man and woman cease being two separate indivisuals and become one. But, if you think that things are not going to work out and that she is just wanting your money, then I would not get married. Be content with your fortune.

I think in your case, a prenup is a great idea (not getting married would be a better one for her.) It should also include an infidelity clause! That should protect you both very well.

Demanding a pre-nup is a demonstration you don't trust her love...or believe in your upcoming marriage.