ANSWERS: 14
  • Give a little more info, how old is "it"? Is it a boy or a girl? Why does "it" seem to hate you?
  • i just read your comments on the other answer, and yeah, theres not really much you can do... maybe you could have a word with your sister to see why she hasent grown up yet?
  • do what my step-mom does... she just hates me back.
  • It's usually mutual.
  • I'm not too sure about that one, I have a step father and haven't been able to stand him since I was 3, I'm 27 now.
  • My daughter hates my husband who is her stepfather since we married 17 years ago. Soon after the wedding she took a pair of scissors and cut up all his shirts. She was four at the time. My husband has been so good to all my children, truly he has and the other two adore him. They consider him their father. My daughter insists that her biological father is a great guy and that he loves her. It's bizarre. The better my husband was the angrier it made her. It's very sad and I hope she comes around someday.
  • I just read your response to JTP Is_. If your sister is 25 and living at home, she doesn't think of stepdad as a dad. She's jealous cause she doesn't have a man. He needs to be careful of her, walking through the house lightly dressed. Momma needs to put her in the wind so she can find and get a life.
  • you beat them like my stepmother did to me
  • I have had a step-mom for 40 years. She was hateful right back to me when I was a child. So, the best thing I can say is: Don't be hateful back to the step child.
  • Act like an adult and don't play childish "I hate you back" games. Having the patience of a saint might be helpful. Its not required that everyone on earth get along but it would be nice if we tried.
  • Forty years ago I didn’t get along with my stepfather. I wrote this about him in 2005. http://www.uexpress.com/dearabby/?uc_full_date=20050619 Here’s what needs to be discussed on stepfamilies. LIVING IN STEP-FAMILIES: PRE-MARITAL EXPECTATIONS Before any couple "ties the knot" they should talk about what they expect from each other and from their marriage. When the marriage will create a step-family, this is especially important. People considering marriage often have different ideas of what they expect from each other. Discussing expectations prior to taking that big step will help a couple set realistic goals and make realistic commitments to each other. This guide, designed specifically for prospective step-families, will aid you and your children in discussing ideas and making plans for a satisfying family life. Creating a successful step-family environment can have many rewards for its members, but it requires more than love and good intentions. Flexibility, commitment and realistic expectations will all contribute to a successful step-family. Developing realistic expectations involves understanding and accepting the ways a stepfamily structure differs from that of a first-time family. An understanding of these differences will help create a satisfying marital relationship and family life. A remarriage occurs only after a marriage ends, either through death or divorce, and dreams of marrying and living "happily ever after" have been shattered. Because of this, parents and children often must deal with feelings of sadness, anger, hurt and disillusionment. These feelings must be overcome before children and adults can trust and have faith in new relationships. Also, because the parent-child bond originated before the new couple's relationship, stepparents join a family that already has loyalties, traditions, and roles established. Stepparents sometimes feel like outsiders. Children in step-families have had to cope with the partial or complete loss of a parental relationship. There is a biological parent, in memory or in actuality, who is still important to the child, and who will have an influence on the new step-family. Children remember "how my mom did it when she was alive," or that "Dad always lets me stay up late at his house." Because children may spend time in two different households with different rules and expectations, they need to learn how to make smooth transitions. They may experience loyalty conflicts not realizing you can love two people (e.g., father and stepfather) in the same role. They may need to learn how to deal with the differences in values and lifestyles between the two homes. Another structural difference must be considered before forming a step-family. A newly married couple usually has time to get to know one another gradually and make marital adjustments before adding a child with the accompanying new roles and responsibilities of parenthood. With remarriage, one is a new spouse and a parent or step-parent from the start. Because of this added complexity, it is especially important to discuss expectations and make plans for the transitions involved. Such planning has the potential of reducing stress for the couple and their children. Despite the complexities, (and sometimes because of them), a healthy step-family can provide many rewards and satisfactions for step-family members. For adults, remarriage can provide a new opportunity to develop a satisfying intimate relationship. For children who have witnessed the failure of their biological parents' relationship through divorce or have experienced the pain of a parent's death, witnessing their parent's satisfying remarried relationship can renew their faith in close interpersonal relationships. PRE-MARITAL DISCUSSION QUESTIONS Personal Goals and Expectations Jobs Household Arrangements Financial Matters Children Relationships With Others Communication Sexual Expectations UNDERSTANDING YOUR ANSWERS Personal Goals and Expectations Jobs Household Arrangements Financial Matters Children Relationships With Others Communication Sexual Expectations THE CHILDREN References Currier, Cecile (1982). Learning to Step Together : A Course for Step- family Adults, Step-family Association of America, Inc., 28 Allegheny Ave., Suite 1307, Baltimore, MD 21204 Coleman, M. and Ganong, L. (1987). An evaluation of the step-family self-help literature for children and adolescents. Family Relations, 36 (1), 64-65. Mills, David M . (1984). A mode l for step-family development. Family Relations, 33, 365-372 Visher, Emily & Visher, John (198 2). How to Win as a Step-family, new York: December Books Email me at George_McCasland@yahoo.com to receive the full document.
  • How did the Mother handle your initial introduction? A whole lot can go wrong. It is up to the biological parent to make that transition a smooth one.
  • Never give him a penknife
  • go to the petstore and get them a nice puppy as a gift, they will love you forever for that

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