When EVERYTHING seems to not matter and that bottle of pills/razor/gun is within easy reach, what is the thought that stays your hand? How do you keep from taking that final step?
by 
L Anon has a Blank spot in her heart
ANSWERS: 45
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try to remember when you are feeling so low things can only get better for you. they cant get any worse. also if you get the help you need you can start enjoying life again. think of all the things you would miss out on and remember you can have the happy times back.
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I have people who love me and who depend on me and I cannot leave them that way.
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the instinct of self preservation
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I think of how I would feel if my spouse, daughter, or one of my siblings were to commit suicide. I can't imagine deliberately making one of them suffer the way I would if I were to lose one of them.
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i can't take the thought of my parents and brothers sobbing over my dead body, each feeling that they may be responsible or that they could have stopped it. I couldn't take the thought of them becomming so depressed, and so lost at the loss of their daughter/sister that maybe they want to die. In other words, I'm just too empathetic to pull something like that. Not to mention that latley I've decided that I might as well stick around. If I die, I might not have any consequences. It might be some place new. But I'm not so sure I'm done exploring this place yet. I simply don't want to die.
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That situation has never actually happened to me. But the one thing that would stop me is the fact that I'm too chicken to do it :) Plus the thought that life does ALWAYS get better and the way to get through any problem is to keep your chin up, face the problem head on, and you will always come out A-OK, if not wiser and stronger.
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My son.....AND I wouldn't give up on myself that easily even if I never had him. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and find your Strength. You never will if you keep thinkng those 'pity thoughts'.
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Remembering the fact that You're dead forever, but you're only alive for a limited time.
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Hey man, I've had it as bad as the next guy, but it's the only life you've got. Hang-in there. There's ups and downs and at times you think the ups will never come. The only way I got through the Nam was figuring I was already dead and nothing mattered. Now I know that I've got a few precious years on this planet and EVERYTHING matters! So get your head straight and do it. Do life!
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If nothings matters, then what would be the point of killing yourself? If death is what you want, then I have great news, you WILL die someday. Don't worry, life is short enough as it is. Just because you cant see the future, doesn't mean that it's black. We have all heard the saying that suicide is a permenent solution to a temporary problem. Life is hard enough, but suicide is too easy.
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No matter how bad my depression got and how much I wanted to stop living, there was always what I still refer to as my "pilot light." The tiny spark that kept me believing that no matter how unbearable things got, there was a world out there that I could somehow reach. I thank God every day that I held on, because now I am feeling happier than I ever have in my life. Just don't give up. Get whatever help you need. Where there's life there's hope. I am living proof of that:)
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I'm too scared
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I think of my wife and kids. There is no way I could do that to them. I could NEVER take the chance that one of my kids might think it was their fault that I killed myself.
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just to think about my loved ones and how devastated they may be if i take my life keeps me from doing it.
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my family finding me like that
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I think about my loved one and I ask myself if it is really worth it! I know that sometimes we get overwhelmed by situations in life but things pass and then a year from then you think back on it and it seems silly sometimes! Good luck. I am here if you want to talk, I know that we don't know eachother or anything but I am here if you need to vent to someone. Take care.
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I think about love in general. Loved ones and people that love are the things that keep me going.
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"If I'm dead my dogs will be without a home"
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Sometimes...............I wonder how I do keep from taking "that final step". Just when you don't think you can take anymore, something else gets dumped on your head. Some times I just sit in front of the medicine cabinet (there is plenty there, believe me) saying, "It would be soooo easy." Then everything wouldn't matter anymore. Then, I think of what my husband is going through and I could never do that to him again. He went through it with his brother. He was there. Five years and he is still battling the depression and effects of that one single act from his brother. There is no one thing to stay your hand, there are many. Husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers......the list goes on and on. YOU have to see what there is to keep you here. No one else can do it for you. But please remember EVERYONE around you, because it is not just YOU that this will affect.
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My three going to be four years old in April nephew, he is s huge lifeline to me, I have the rest of my family too to hold on for no matter happens I reason with myself
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Fear of failure.
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I just know they will talk about me behind my back! And... I will miss out on stuff....and I cannot bear the thought of missing out of stuff..... And.... I like to think that I am braver than that.....
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Remembering that not so long ago, I promised someone very important to me that I wouldn't kill myself. I made that promise out of love for that person, and even if that's all gone now, and even if my suicide wouldn't actually hurt them the same way it would have when I made the promise, I refuse to degrade the memory of what we shared by selfishly breaking it.
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I'm nosey I want to see what happens next.
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I lost the love of my life almost 3 years ago to rape/murder and the pain has been extremely unbearable at times especially since she was attacked the one night I decided it was more important for me to stay dry and comfortable than to get wet and meet her at the train and walk her home I keep telling myself if I had not been so selfish she might be alive today I have contemplated taking my own life to be with her many times since her death The one thought that usually stops me is how disappointed in me she would be if I did something that dumb and stupid and I would not want to spend eternity having her hate me for being stupid enough to end my life
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I'm too stubborn to die.
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there is a girl i made a promise to, that i would never cut myself again, i think of her everytime i want to cut.
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If it doesn't matter, then why bother going through the effort of killing yourself? Therefore, it DOES matter. You DO care about something. I think of all the ways I could spite who/whatever is depressing me. I'm just that type of bastard ;)
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dirty underwear.
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i would just do it! sometimes people really dont have anything left.
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I think of my future and how it might improve as well see if I make new freinds etc...
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I think of my family, and pray a lot
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I remember what it feels like to be there. That cold desperateness that goes with holding something that could end your life forever. And I stop myself. It might hurt.. alot. But self control is important... And so is life.
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I don't know what stopped me then...
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I am not doing anything that might hurt so that rules out the gun and razor. Pills it is then - let's hope they're not paracetamol because I once took way too many to cure a toothache and could not stop throwing up all over the place - I don't want that to happen again either, it was not one the best experiences. Oh well, 3 strikes and that's me out of the death round.
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The operative word here is "seems". What should stop you is knowing that while pain can be intense, it is almost always temporary. Taking that "final step", knowing how much it will devastate your friends, family, and everyone who cares about you, is actually a rather selfish solution to problems that CAN be solved if you are willing to take control.
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For me, it was the fear of failing to do the job properly.
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i don't want to hurt my family like that. and what if i'm not successful? i'd have that nasty scar on my beautiful body or what if i end up paralyzed and not be able to care for myself.
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If everything doesnt matter, then why do you CARE to die ?
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What stopped me was realizing that I could TRY to improve my life and if it didn't work, I could ALWAYS end it. Soooooo, I did what I didn't want to do and left my children during the day and went to work. Got a good job, eventually told their father this was the end of the road for us and went on from there. Once I knew I could take care of my children in the manner they had been living, I was ok. Doesn't mean I lived in bliss, but I could make it.
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My little girl.
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To this day, I don't know.
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i need to get to a higher level on this site. i would rather die with dignity, like a heart attack, or a stroke, or malignant tumor in my brain.
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The thing that keeps me is oddly the thing that does it. When I'm suicidal, I cut. The pain reminds me that I'm alive, and is a representation of the pain that people who care about me would feel if I was gone. That, and hearing my baby brother in the room next to me. I was about to do it when I heard him crying, and then I got a big wake up call. That's what keeps me hanging on.
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The fact that if I see a bottle of razors or guns, I'll probably think I'm delusional and check myself into a looney bin
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