My mom wasn't capable of taking care of me with drug problems. My dad was short tempered and was abusive. When I turn 18 im planing to move away from them and never see and talk to them again. Do you think I am doing the thing?
by 
pouncey
ANSWERS: 17
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For now definitely, but you might find as you get older you will want to reconnect with them. Your mom might clean up later on and realize what she lost. Your father may seek forgiveness. But until you are read,y go make yourself a life you can be happy in and leave the abuse behind.
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YES but you can not and will not forget where you come from...This will make you a stronger person and help you for the rest of your life...Make sure you become the best that they couldnt be. When you get your life on tract, contact them and thank them for all of your success because even though they couldnt help you, they still got you here.
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Never is a long time, Pouncey.
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Many people cut off contact with their abusive parents. You would not be the first. Be sure it is in your best interest to do that, because once the choice is made, it's very difficult to take back. Try to find someone to talk to, like a teacher or religious leader. That will help you with tips and ideas. Also, scroll down to the bottom of the page and click on "How to Articles". Enter "leave toxic parents" in the search box. You will find a lot of useful articles.
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if they are so bad why do you wait? sounds like you are whining to me. 18??? i was 12 when i paid for myself to go to school and was 16 when i left home.. "legal" did not matter, so, stop your bitching or get the fuck out.
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Of course. Too many people get so hung up on being a "family" that they can't break away from their abusers in order to further themselves. Do what you need to do to get strong and healthy and happy.
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I'm not sure if you are saying that your mother had drug problems or that she coulldn't take care of you because YOU had drug problems ... IF she had the drug problems .. and your father was abusive ; WHY are you waiting ? I'd be getting OUT asap ... IF you had the drug problem ; she may have done the bes tshe could ... Hope it all works out for you .. +5
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I think moving away could definitely be a good thing. Just don't stray into bad things. Avoid the shady people and places. But the whole never talk to them again thing sounds a little harsh. You might want to distance yourself from them and from your past because they obviously didn't give you what you deserved growing up. But I wouldn't burn that bridge completely. It's probably better for you in the long run to forgive them. Don't forget, but forgive.
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Just because someone is related to you does not mean they are automatically entitled to your loyalty. For your own sake it may be better to separate from them. Later on, as an adult, when they have no power over you they may change their behavior. In a very abusive situation it may be better to leave and never look back. Make sure that you really take charge of your life and not get into a common cycle of falling into another abusive relationship. +5 Pouncey
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No, I don't think you are. It's never wise to totally sever family ties. It's rare, but people do change as time goes on. Do yourself, and them, a favor and keep the lines of communication open. Take it from an old man who knows ... it's the best course of action.
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Your parents did the best they could. I agree with leaving, but by no means should you throw salt in the wounds and not talk to them. Extreme measuses are never neccessary, even if they SEEM appropriate. Leave, give it a little time, let the tension relax, and get back in touch with them.
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when you leave, dont look back...they will be partying.
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Words are cheap. yes, you can move wherever you please. One thing in your life that will never change.....they will always be your parents. their blood is in your veins and always will be. No matter where you go or what you do, nothing in your life will ever change the fact that they are your parents.......good, bad or otherwise.
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I understand your situation. In some cases (and this is one of them), getting away from the problem is the only way you have control over it. Think about it, you can not make your mother give up drugs or turn your father non-abusive (these are their decisions just as leaving is yours). They will have to live with the consequences of their actions. There will always be opposing views but you know, you know what you need to do. The thing I've learned is that my closest friends have become my family... and I am thankful for them.
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You don't give a lot of information... My homelife when I was growing up was also no picnic, though it sounds like you had it even tougher. Being a parent myself now and catching myself making some of the same mistakes I blamed my parents for making, I am starting to understand that they also, perhaps, are a result of the genes they carry and environment they grew up in. It is a lot easier to be forgiving when you yourself are in need of forgivness ;-( For me, hoever, it is too late. My parents are both gone. Even though there is a lot of hurt that needs to be brought out into the open adn dealt with, that option is gone. You have to make your own decision, but I would encourage you not to cut ties completely. It is easier to do than undo. There may be a time when, for yourself, not them, you need to say "I forgive you".
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Only you can decide if it's best & it sounds like this is best for you. I certainly wouldn't cut off all ties but I would put a lot of responsibility on them. Give them your number & address. Call them on their birthday & holidays but inbetween, concentrate on you & let them make the moves. Return home for Christmas after a year or so just to show them you have forgiven them & are doing well.
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You'll know when the time comes. I was in the same situation as a kid, i ended up moving out with family and my mom got off drugs, and moved close, we bacame friends, but she never actually tod her place as mom. she's not on drugs but an alcoholic now, so i see her sparingly but i still have too much resentment towards my dad to contact him, even though he's close by now and wants me too, i'm just not ready, he never apologized and never changed, yet, i have talked to him, for the closure. you'll realise those things from then and your child hood affect you alot even as an adult and it's almost good to keep some contact to remember who they were and why you dont want to be them, so that you'll never follow in that path.
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