ANSWERS: 31
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  • everytime you catch yourself doing it, just say, "wait, why do i even care?". i do it to everything including important things that i shouldn't put off, but i do.
  • Find some interests of your own. If you are driven towards something you really want, you will be too sidetracked by that to care what anyone else thinks of you.
  • You just have to realize that a lot of people don't directly have an effect on your life. An example is everyone criticizing celebrities/people in the media spotlight on what they wear, how they live their lives etc. Sure, you don't agree with what they said or wore, but does that affect their paycheck, or what they eat at night, how they sleep, how they live their life as a whole. It really doesn't. If I said right now, that I don't like you because of the way you type, would you really care? I don't even know you, you will never meet or see me, nothing I say will affect your life at all. You also have to realize that a lot of people are just plain dumb lol. If someone is a racist and obviously doesn't like me for example, why do you think that is? Why would I take someone seriously who doesn't like me only because of a genetic predisposition? Even dumb people have opinions, but it doesn't mean it's worth listening to and learning from. I hope this helps.
  • Practice. Go to a question on here that is really controversial and just speak your mind and the devil take the hindermost. Think of whomever is holding you mentally captive and confront them and tell them what you actually think. It is liberating.
  • find a cognitive behavior therapist...you can address the thought distortions that support the way you are feeling and you also would benefit from working on your boundaries.
  • The ultimate solution is to confront your own emptiness and make peace with it. What that means in English is being able to stand face-to-face with the realization that your concern for others opinion's is proportionate to your lack of a solid personal sense of identity. It makes the mind crazy to not have a solid foundation of self as a reference point. The mind repeatedly asks (quietly) "who am I?", and if it gets back a hollow echo instead of a solid ping, it gets quite anxious. This leads often to trying to "solve" the emptiness by getting lots of feedback from others... trying to get others to tell you who you are so the anxiety will go away. Actually there are many different strategies that are used to fill this void, pursuing the approval of others is jut one of them. But they all have the same basic structure: there's a vacuum, it causes anxiety, and in it's confusion the mind goes searching for a way to solve that -- typically a way which can never really work. These strategies may relieve the stress a bit, but they're like drugs -- you have to keep taking them constantly to keep the pain at bay. To truly heal, you have to quit numbing the pain and face it directly until you understand it and its causes. There is a solution to this puzzle, but only people who can tolerate the confusion and anxiety have a chance to locate it.
  • Try reciting: "What other people think is none of my business. I am not responsible for other people's thoughts."
  • I can't control what others think of me. As long as I try to be kind and fair, I don't worry about their negative opinion. It's really their business, not mine. If I do something that is unfair or offensive, I apologize. I can't control whether they accept the apology, either!
  • A person who is insecure lacks confidence in their own value and capability. Insecurity can be distressing and feel threatening to the psyche. Recognising one's failings but still maintaining a healthy dose of self-confidence is the cure.
  • Just remember the following: Most people are so busy worrying about their personal issues, that you might be surprised and even disappointed at how little they think about you. .
  • Everyone cares what others think to a degree, but if you're comfortable with yourself it wont matter so much. I don't know how to tell you to become more comfortable with yourself...my comfort came with age.
  • What makes you ask? Is it me? You're talking about me right? Who's been telling you that I'm to wrapped up in what others think? I'm not, you know. I couldn't care less. But who was it? Someone around here? What else did they say?
  • There is a book by Dr. Drew.. The Mirror Effect. If you do not know who he is..he does loveline the talk/radio show. This shows how the media breaks celebrities down and builds them up just to bring them down again. This is happening everywhere now. Its sick. Love yourself!
  • i am actually working on this now... i have learned to be comfy with my sexuality but to put my spiritual beliefs out there i am not true to self. i am going to try one a day till i am comfortable being me and say the wheee with what other's think ! +5
  • Remind yourself that they don't pay your bills.
  • i must admit, i used to be the same -and to a certain extent i still am - but i learned to look at it from a different view - a) nobody is perfect - so why are you expecting yourself to be b) those people are still in your life - therefore they must like you or you wouldn't be in thier life. c) this isn't meant to be horrible, but tbh - people DON'T care! they are in thier own lives, working their own problems, if you are seen in a bad light try thinking - so what! pretending to be someone i'm not to be liked by everyone is tiring and a little two faced. you'll find people truly like you more if you are just yourelf.
  • Realistically speaking like the old song Garden Party says you can't please everyone so you have please yourself. Conduct yourself as your conscious tells you to. Remember that most people are very judge mental and no matter what you do someone will dislike you. Win by being yourself and true to you.
  • It is very hard. I don't know if I can help except to say you are not alone in your feelings about this. As a secretary and free-lance jazz pianist/vocalist, I am always hung up on colleagues' views of me in the latter endeavor, which determines which "gigs" I will get, and which ones (many great ones) I will get passed over for simply because I am not as popular as those in the "inner circles." What others think of me controls the amount of music work I get, much more so than my talents/abilities, which are quite good! I sing and play 100's of songs (jazz, American Songbook standards from the 30's & 40's, show tunes, and many old-school pop/R&B/easy listening tunes from the 50's thru' the 80's!), and can play over 800 songs in any key without music. Yet I am passed over in lieu of more popular musicians, and in knowing that, I too find myself very caught up in wondering WHY so many key musicians who know who I am (I know that they do, as I have met many of them at their gigs or at jam sessions wherein they have even heard me play!) have the opinions of me (or lack thereof) that they do, whereas some musicians do like me and want to hire me (a much smaller group). I lose out on so many gigs because of popularity, so I understand exactly how you feel. I wish you the best.
  • sit down, take stock and be ok with yourself, by yourself. Sorry I just described vippasana meditation.
  • Seeking advice is no way to stop methink ;)
  • I care what that person thinks because: He owns me? - NO He is an expert judge - NO That is what all my friends and family believe? - NO That opinion will shape/direct the rest of my life? - NO So......what's left?
  • "Hasnt Been" has already written some about it. . Adding to it... Knowing Yourself. Deep knowledge and acceptance of Your emotions and emotional reactions to every event that occured and every event that can occur in the future. To every person You know or have known ever in Your life. To everything that bugs You all the time and everything that You have completely forgotten or repressed. . Things You have forgotten can be regained by using things associated with the time and place that these things were encountered. That may be music, movie, book, a certain person or place from the past. . Also facing every fear (not actually putting Yourself in danger), both the social ones and the life threatening ones. Also the large ones that probably won't happen to You and the small ones that You deny have any influence on You. . I can also give You this useful page: http://eqi.org/
  • you could have people pleasing issues left over form child hood. I know I do, it's quite dibilitating until you figure out where it came from. Google People Pleasing, see if that helps. Comes form having to sacrifice yourself and your beliefs for the love and approval of your parents....
  • Be happy with yourself, that's all that matters if you accept who you are and are happy with it then it won't matter what other people think, because your happy with you that's all that matters.
  • make a fool of yourself on purpose until you enjoy it.
  • Purchase and read: "Taming Your Gremlin" by Rick Carson reviews: http://personals.nymag.com/blog/3621/post_88968.html?dcb=personals.nymag.com&pid=p2041&m= http://www.scribd.com/doc/4031363/Review-of-Taming-Your-Gremlin
  • Let's start with, "Why do you CARE what other people think?" ?
  • I don't sweat too much about what others think of me. Some may dislike me because I have messy hair. That's their problem. I have gained the respect of others because I treat people the way I want to be treated. Little things like being honest, subscribing to a good code of personal ethics and being loyal to my friends and wife and family. Giving an honest day's work for your paycheck also helps, and my employer has given me some very nice bonuses for work that was done in less time than he thought it would take and the job was done properly. You have to live with your conscience, and you should ask yourself at the end of the day if you did things right. One thing I've found is that if you make a mistake don't try to cover it up or blame someone else. Go directly to your boss, tell him you goofed, and ask what can be done to correct it. Ths also applies to marriage and other family matters. If you are reasonable with them they will reciprocate in kind. Don't sweat the little stuff. It will usually take care of itself. Never lie to your mate. The only time my wife and I agreed little white lies were OK was about Christmas or birthday presents.
  • Becoz its sexier not to care. So just think that
  • The only way you could stop it is when you're sure of and accept who you are and trust your own judgment.
  • Go to work wearing a fake moustache , and make no comment about it all day! Above all, you must enjoy the senstation that others think you are nuts, but are trying to find a kind way to tell you. If they give you any odd looks, just ignore them - or ask: Is there something wrong? Do I have spinach in my teeth? or something like that *L* That should cure you of being wrapped up in other people's opinions - because you already KNOW they will think you are insane!

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