• it doesn't have to be all or nothing you can not control your sister's actions/feelings toward you but you can limit the amount of damage she inflicts by exercising control over: 1. how much time you spend with her 2. where you meet (people like this are less likely to act up in public) 3. how much information you share with her about your personal life (work, frinds, s/o) instead of ending your relationship with your sister, exercise limits over her contact with you. good luck!
  • One day, your sister will "grow-up" and realize the torture she has caused you. this happened with my mother and her sister, years ago. Its just jealousy. You should be proud that your sister is jealous of you. but, this jealously does have its limits. End the relationship for now. let things calm down. Its your life and you should be the leader of your life, not your sister. Later, if things improve, you can reunite with her. I must tell you that this may take a long time.
  • IF your sister is really that mean to you ; Then you have NO alternative BUT to break off and have nothing to do with her ..... SHE has made that decesion for you by embarassing you, lying about you , ect .... Good Luck .
  • I hate to say this but if she brings you down you may need to end the relationship
  • End it for now but she will realise that she will need you one day. And she will regret everything she has done to you.
  • How old are you both? If you are adults, separation would be really a good idea. My mother has a sister like this and she is just so irritating. Now that they are in their 80's they still fight. It's nuts.
  • I too have this same problem. My sister is older than I by a few years. We are adults now and we still have issues. In 40 years she has never given me a complement or said she was sorry. It has always been me to go to her. This time she has caused so much hurt. She is now involving our adult children and my mom. That's when I say you're going too far. She tries to justify the whole involving everyone in the family as a way of getting advise but I believe her motives are much worse. I've always been the one to go to her and make things right with her. However, this time I don't know if I have it in me. She takes part of the truth and adds to what she want to make me look really bad. I've always been close to her daughter but she's not been close to her mother. This summer she stayed with me for the summer to help me out since I have some health issues and now I'm being accused of trying to steal her 20 year old daughter from her. I know it sounds childish but since my sister was upset about this, she went to other family members and told them some very hurtful things about me. I didn't even know it would be upsetting to her. My niece is a college student and was home for the summer. Now the whole family is involved in something that could have been stopped only if my sister would have come to me. So sad.
  • Okay, how about not making a big drama out of this and disperse that intense rival energy. Just slowly plan your departure. Don't even make it known to her that you are navigating away. That is best. Do not resist and there will be no harm. Be unavailable to her. If she talks and you are forced to be in the same room with her, have a book you cannot resist handy in your purse and pull it out and read. She cannot control your mind. Focus on my advice and you will be too busy learning this new and valuable new tool to keep you in control of everything in your life. Your sister is just the first small step.
  • i have two older brothers like that always lying about me stitching me up with any thing they do turning people away from me for no reason every time i have helped them out they got worse every thing they done wrong they blamed on me every thing i have done good they have taken for them selves for example i saved an entire family from dying in a house fire by kicking down the door in bare feet went in three times to get them out almost choked to death myself my brother went just inside the door way done nothing and has got every body patting him on the back and not one person said any thing to me not even the family said not even a thankyou but think he is great . i am 40 yrs old now and have finally walked away from them i do not hate them for the way they have treated me but sometimes you have to get as far away from family like that for as lond as it takes just so you can forgive them then maybe in time you can face them again one day .forgiveness is one of the best tools in your mind it takesw a lot of weight of your shoulders the weight of resentment some times can be far more damaging than you can imagine you have got to be the one to walk away but remember YOU HAVE GOT TO BE THE ONE TO FIND IT IN YOUR HEART TO FORGIVE THEM FOR THERE ACTIONS AND BE SORRY FOR THEM IN THERE IGNORENCE NEVER LEAVE IT FOR EVER AS LIFE IS TOO SHORT THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY FORGIVENESS IS THE KEY IT ALWAYS TAKES TIME BUT IT WILL COME GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS YOU
  • I do not know why my sister would be jealous yet she has sabataged everything in my life. She tries to turn my mom against me, she already has my stepfather fooled. She always says people steal from her, yet she was the one that always stole from me and others. I have always been the one to make the peace for my Mom's sake yet now it has gone to far. Both her and my stepfather sent me he cruelest e-mails. My mom is caught in he middle. My sister did not talk to mom for years until she was afraid of being taken out of the will. I do not understand her or what is wrong with her. She has always been very cruel and abusive Does she believe her own lie's. She has been an escort for 20 plus years and her whole life is about material things. I may need to walk away from my family and it is a very lonely feeling, yet I am Sick, not one of them cares or acknowledges this. I am on SSD so you would think they would get a clue. I am very good at hiding my illness. I stay home and isolate when I feel really bad. Tonight I was dizzy, nosebleeds (never have had one before), headache and my neigbor took my blood pressure and it was very high. I had my neighbor call because I was so sick I could not handle my mom's rejection. She left a message on my phone that was very hurtful, still not even asking how I was. I am done playing this game. I am too tired and sick to deal with the constant degrading I receive from all of them. I know my mom loves me yet her new husband she is so in denial of his control. She even made him Executor of her will, which he through in my face (like You better be nice) I will not give a man respect that mistreats others and that I do not have any respect for. I would rather be on the street, broke and homeless then be under his control. I am 52 and i do not need to be disciplined As he call it. He cuts my mom down also, yet she is so afraid of being alone she refuses to see the truth about him. I love her very much yet it seems everything that happens bad, is always my fault. My sister I am done with. After 52 years of her abuse, I finally am okay with walking away forever. She likes to say I have mental problems also, yet she has some severe mental problems. she seem to have no conscious.
  • I am so glad to hear all this great advise my sisters are alike and I really feel for you,the "Wind in the Willow'seemed like great advise.Maybe you should slowly break your ties and let some positive energy in your life.Things will not change unless you want them too,break that negative cycle that you have grown acustom to.I myself am going to do the same.Thanks and good luck.
  • I think you should end the relationship. I mean family is important but if your sister is being this cruel you are going to have to accept that she is just not a good person and keep your distance from her. Dont feel guilty about ending the relationship, it is the right thing to do.
  • Tell her that you want nothing more to do with her. But tell her as well, that the day she comes to you as a proper sister, you will welcome her with open arms.
  • Some people are toxic and you have to love them from a distance.

Copyright 2023, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy