ANSWERS: 100
  • Keep out of it, it sounds like your mum will be telling your dad pretty shortly anyway, she was probably just preparing you for when your dad finds out.
  • Keep quiet for now. Your mother doesn't want you to get caught in the middle of her problems with your Dad. She probably just wanted to confide in you what was going on because she was feeling overwhelmed by it all.
  • keep quiet you dont want to get involved with the situation
  • That is rough. I've been there with my parents and I hated it that she told me anything! It seems like no matter how old you are, your parents are always your parents and some things don't need to be confided to your child! Keep it to yourself for now and wait and see how things roll. Chances are he may already know about it or will shortly when the details of the divorce are disclosed. What is most important for you, and what I didn't know until it was too late, is don't allow them to use you as a buffer. In other words, don't play the "he said she said" game. If he is calling you and wanting to talk about her or vice-versa, firmly tell them that you don't want to get in the middle of it, that you love them both but that you really don't want to be put in a situation where you feel like you have to chose sides. That's completely unfair to you. Be very firm with both of them and ride it out.
  • She could have told you because she wants YOU to tell him. I don't know your relationship with your mom or dad but I think if I were in that position, I would give my mother a time frame to tell my father, and say to her that I will tell him. But I would not really tell him. This is something that your mom should handle. But she may need that push forward. Having been in a similar situation, your dad probably already knows or suspects. Good luck with whatever you choose.
  • let your mum do the talking. it will be devastating for your dad, but if he knows you knew before him might upset him more. she is hoping you will do it so she doesn't have to face what she has done. cheating is selfish, and by not telling him herself is selfish. i hope you are ok. even at 19 that's alot to deal with.
  • Sorry but shame on your mom for telling you if she's not going to tell your dad right away too. She's put you in a terrible position and no kid should have to choose between mom or dad. Stay out of it, you do not have to take sides unless you choose to. As the one who was cheated on and was clueless (it was the 2nd time, I busted him the 1st time) I'd want to know.
  • Give your mom a time frame within which to tell your dad and advise her that if she doesn't, you will. We are friends with a man whose wife left him and his two teenage daughters knew about it and never told him. While he forgave them, he has never really gotten over the fact that everyone knew what was coming but him.
  • I dont like that she told you that, however she did. I would never tell your Dad, that is her job. I would remain quiet and let them work it out. Sorry this is happening to you!
  • G'day NormaJean, Thank you for your question. Does your Dad know that your mother is thinking of divorcing him? I would speak with your mother and say that she has to come clean with your Dad. I would see if she can make a commitment to do so. If not, I would advise her that you will tell her if she hasn't. She has to tell her husband what has happened honestly and you should encourage her to do so. She isn't being fair to you to ask you to continue as nothing is happening. You have my sympathy. Regards
  • Did she first tell you they were divorcing & then tell you she'd had an affair as an explanation? If so, your Dad already knows, or at least suspects. If that's not the case, just ask him why they're divorcing. You don't need to tell him what your mother told you but you should hear both sides, to be fair to them both (and yourself). I was in a similar situation. Its hard. I'm sorry. The reasons for divorce are not your fault & you shouldn't be involved in it. Just let them know you love them both, as you always have. Just don't let either one put you in the middle. Who knows, they may reconcile, mine did & I was glad I never took sides.
  • This is for your mom to tell Dad. It's sad, and I wonder why she felt the need to tell you before she told her husband. That's her job, not yours'.
  • If i was you i would not tell your dad. That is between them. Yes it does involve you but. That's between them. I'm not sure how to explain it but sorry.
  • First of all I don't think your mother should have told you something like that especially if your father didn't already know about it. I would not tell him if it were me. Let her do it. It is between the two of them and they should not make you a part of it. I hope that it will all work out for you and your family.
  • Your mother has mental problems. She should have never told you about her affair and both she and your father should have JOINTLY told you about the divorce. I feel sorry for this man that your mom is involved with, he has his hands full.
  • Keep it to yourself. I'm sure your Dad already knows, he just doesn't want to.
  • I would just keep quiet,and not get involved. It will only make things worse.
  • Your mom had no real right to come to you, her child, and tell you something like that. Most people are not aware of the power of speech and of the harm that can be done. The harm done by speech is even worse than the harm done by stealing or by cheating someone financially: money lost can be repaid, but the harm done by speech can never be repaired. She told you something that would be not only be hurtful for you to hear but for your dad to hear as well. If she no longer had feelings for her husband or respect for her wedding vows, she should have just bowed out gracefully from that relationship. It is not your place to tell your dad. Your mom doesnt have to tell your dad anything, but to put this burden of knowledge of an extramarital affair on her child, is not right. You should tell her, if she wanted to confess, she did it to the wrong person. She should have told her husband, your dad, not you.
  • Tell us why your mom felt the need to blab (brag?) to you about her affair. Although I do not look down on any persons who have affairs, I do not approve of taking their children to the hotel. Minus points for mom.
  • I am waiting to hear the answer to buster's Q: Why did your mom fee the need to blab (brag) to you about the affair. Very inappropriate to burden children, (even if 19)with this kind of information.
  • I would definitely say stay out of it. They're both adults, let them sort it out amongst themselves.
  • She shouldn't have told you. This is not your problem and do NOT, EVER feel you must take sides. Your Dad is still your Dad, and your Mum is still your Mum. This is a problem with their relationship with each other, not theirs with you or you with theirs. IF any further information is offered responded by saying "All due respect Mum but this is really nothing to do with me. It's Dad you should be speaking to, not me. I'm staying out of it, it's not my place'.
  • A time frame for your Mom is fair. Your Dad once he knows that you knew my be hurt from that alone. I wish you weren't in the middle, but they are still both your parents through thick and thin.
  • Jeez, that sucks! I'm sorry. I'm having trouble figuring out why your mom decided to divulge that information to you. That puts you in a tough spot (as you've already figured out.) Since you're 19 and custody of you isn't going to be an issue, it won't affect any kind of alimony, unless you have younger siblings that they will be fighting over. That information can do nothing but hurt, so I would keep it under wraps for now. But don't lie. If someone asks you outright if you know if either of your parents was cheating in the relationship, then tell the truth. Just don't offer the information. Good luck, NormaJean. I've been where you are, and it ain't pleasant, but you'll get through it.
  • Telling him is not your job this is her mess to deal with this isnt you problem. Keep quite and maybe she will gain the balls to tell him what se has done to their 20 year marriage.Its sad that when parents are divorcing they bring their children into it.I am 20 and my parents are also in the divorce process and they put me in the middle and I tell them both that I am not their go between.you should do the same! encourage your mother to tell the truth but dont make it your responsiblity
  • It's best for your dad to find out from your mom. I know that it's difficult to see someone you care about being hurt (especially when it's by someone else you care about) but it's much harder to be in the middle of an ugly divorce. The best thing is just to sit back and be there for your dad when he needs you.
  • Keep clear of that one, you don't need to be in the middle of it. Let your mother do her own dirty work.
  • Given the fact that my mom and I have always been extremely close, I don't think it's outrageous that your mother told you before telling your father. She knew that it would come out and would prefer that you heard it from her first. Do not tell your dad, but I would advise you to sit down with your mom and tell her how you feel about everything. There's a lot more to say and many more questions to ask than just whether or not to tell your dad. Just make sure you tell your mom that you feel aweful to have to keep this secret from him and that you would like for her to tell him asap.
  • It is so wrong for a mother, or any parent, to lay this onto another person. The burden is so wrong!!! Mom should have finished one relationship before starting another but she certainly could have discussed it with her husband before the kids, no matter WHAT age!! I'm sorry, it's too heavy a load for any parent to 'share'. You tell mom she must tell your father NOW because you cannot bear this burden anymore.
  • What do you think your dad would do if he heard this news? Would he mope about it? Would he take it OK? Would he have a big fight with your mom? Tell me this, and i'll edit my answer when I have time... Being nineteen, man that's gotta suck with your parents divorcing... I mean i was five, but that still sucks...
  • Hey man- When I was 16 my Mom told me that my Dad was having an affair. They ended up divorced a year later. The mistake I made was involving myself personally. Talking with your Mom and Dad about the upcoming divorce is fine. What's not fine is putting yourself in the middle. Don't let your Mom or your Dad talk through you. Let them communicate with EACH OTHER. You will be emotionally better off. It's natural to want to help. It's natural to be affected. Just remember: It's your parents divorce, not yours. Good luck and hang in there-
  • You tell him!
  • hey i'm sorry your going through this.. i dont want to sound too much like a talk show host lol..but just so your know..i'm not sure how you feel about it..but whatever it is.. its ok to feel that way. I'm 18 and i'd feel all kinds of mixed up emotions. You sound like a strong perosn with the way you approached the question though and i'm sure you are.. neways... * i dont think its your responsibility to tell your dad. i kno i've played monkey in the middle personally with y parents(used to) and been there messanger and savior and helped and things..and as i grew up people helped me and are helping me to realize that i'm not responsible for them. they are presonsible for them even if they go about things as children sometimes ..i mean we all do something its normal.(it can create crazy emotions sometimes) but its normal. And my point is lol, that while they may not always go about thigns right, you can respond how you like ya kno. i think. its cool that you asked this question cuz you were unsure. *also, subjects like this can be touchy so if iwas effensive in any way, i didn't mean to be. and i hope i helped :-)
  • I was thinking the same thing, why did your mom tell you? That man she is cheating on is your dad. Don't be the one who hurts him with the news. The situation has nothing to do with you, keep it that way. Maybe you could tell your mom that even though she needs someone to talk to that person can't be you, you love them both.
  • If I were you, the only reason that I would tell your dad is for the reason of them divorcing because he does not deserve a women that cheats on him. Even though it would hurt him, I would need to tell him for his own good. But in your case they are already divorcing so just keep quiet. What he does not know wont hurt him.
  • What ever you do keep your mouth shut and stay out of it. Your mom had no right to put you in this position and it's not your job to tell him. Let her sink her own boat. Your dad will find out soon enough. If you get in the middle it'll just make things worse.
  • tell him everything
  • I know exactly how you feel, my parents just got a divorce last month, and they decided to tell me on my birhtday, keep calm, disscuss with your mother if there are any questions. But remember this is your mom and dads battle, they are the ones that should deal with it, hope that helps.
  • They are getting divorced, which means your dad probably already knows.
  • I think your mom asked you for help, that does not mean that she wants you to feel against your father. So give her that help. Anyways you may ask her what to tell you father, and also tell that you love both of them the same way. I think your father will need some help too. But you are 19, so you can give all the help they need.
  • My rents divorced in the exact same manner. I think that your mother told you, not to tell your father, but just to inform you on the situation so its not a big shock to you when it does happen. Chances are your mother plans on talking to your dad, if she hasnt already, since she mentioned divorce. If your asking if you should tell your dad about the REASON shes divorcing, well thats up to you but I honestly dont think you should do it so soon if you are going to. Its crazy how much our situations are alike, my mom was seeing someone for about 6 months before my parents got divorced but my mother has been much happier since she got remarried...15 years ago, so Im not so much upset about it anymore. I dont think you should be worried about getting involved in it, he most likely knows whats goin on already.
  • I agree with those who advise you to let your parents work out their own issues and arrive at either a reconciliation or an amicable divorce. Encourage them to talk to each other, be civil, be honest, and to remember that they once loved each other. Assure them both that you love each of them and that you will not take sides or get involved in their private matters. Do not become a counselor or confidant to either parent. Set healthy boundaries. Both of these folks are going to be your parents for many many years and you want them to be able to be cordial to each othder at your wedding.
  • I know this is a little late, but i say you should tell your dad as soon as possibole! But last night i watched a show called "kindergarton cop" you shoud search it on you tube an watch it, it might cheer you up! You know the person who plays the good terminator, in the terminaator two? Well he is the kindergarton cop! he even has the "I AM THE TERMINATOR" voice!well, tell your dad as soooooooooooooooon as possibole!
  • I know this is a little late, but i say you should tell your dad as soon as possibole! But last night i watched a show called "kindergarton cop" you shoud search it on you tube an watch it, it might cheer you up! You know the person who plays the good terminator, in the terminaator two? Well he is the kindergarton cop! he even has the "I AM THE TERMINATOR" voice!well, tell your dad as soooooooooooooooon as possibole!
  • It's up to mom to tell. But she should tell promptly. as they are divorcing it will affect things. Suggest that she be open and honest and expect the same from Dad.
  • Wait for your Mom to tell him. Be prepared to give your Dad support. Just love both of them. That's enough.
  • I been there b4. I knew that my father was cheating on my mother and now i know that my mother's boyfriend is cheating. I agree that it's not ur resposible to work things out in ur mother and father relationship. U let ur mother tell him and u just be there 2 support him after the hard blow.
  • Your not a child anymore, and if they are divorcing, than that's all your father needs to know. It's not your place to tell your father, and it wasn't your mother place to tell you. She was wrong in telling you. Tell her how you feel and that you think your father should know what's going on. That is really sad that after 20 yrs it's over. really sad. At least your not younger. but it's still sad.
  • First let me tell you I'm sorry you are having to deal with this - REGARDLESS of your age! The problem I see for you is this...WHEN he finds out, because he WILL, if a heated arguement ensues (and it will) your name is most likely going to be tossed out there that you already knew and he's going to be hurt YET AGAIN. Do you see what I'm getting at here? You are stuck between a hard place and a rock because of how your mother has chosen to handle things. What you need to do is DEMAND your mother tell your father the truth about what has been happening or you will. It is going to be extremely UGLY if he finds out through some other source and THEN finds out you knew too!! Men do NOT like to look like idiots in front of their families and he's going to feel very, VERY bad if he finds out he was what he will consider "the laughing stock" of the family. I'm sorry you are in this situation.
  • Your om shouldn't have told you that to begin with because it puts way to much pressure on someone our age to have to deal with that kind of crap. Beleive me I know all about it. You need to tell her to tell him. Let her know how you feel about it and that it wasn't right for her to just tell you and expect you to just act like it never happened. I would confront her about it soon.
  • Here is my honest opinion. If your mother chooses to treat you like an adult - in that she put this dreadful burden on your shoulders - you should in turn act like one. If you love your father, tell him what is being planned behind his back (I'm assuming he is not some dreadful wife-beater or something here, OK?). Adults are adults when they are honest and open with those they love - no playing mind games or having 'little secrets' from one another. Your mother was wrong to make you the sole recipient of this knowledge in what is, after all, a three person family. If you tell, and your mother gets upset - what on earth was she regarding you as when she told you? A fellow conspirator in a plot against your Father? Be very careful because by your silence you are indeed giving 'permission' for something that is downright sneaky. If you err in this, please err on the side of decency - and it is not decent to keep a secret like this from your father and let him think when he does find out that not only did his wife betray him, but his child also....if you have to chose between pain, the 'right' pain is worth it in the long run. Hwoever thats only my opinion and I am NOT a qualified counsellor - tell your mother she has told you too damn much and you need to go to someone more qualified than either of you to make sure the damage is minimised becasue you are being set up to be a victim in this scenario - so I genuinely hope that you can figure out how to be a survivor instead. My very best wishes go to you.
  • scilence is golden, stay out of it
  • stay out of it
  • Best to not get involved anymore then your mother, selfishly, already got you involved. It is their thing to either work out or not work out. You really have nothing to do with it and should not feel any type of guilt or in any way remotely responsible or involved. It is your mom that took it upon herself to be unfaithful to your dad and it is your dad's not knowing your mom that likely caused it to get to the level that it has. Your 19, focus on you and your future. Regardless of what your parents do, or do not do, you are already on your way to independence and being responsible for your own actions. So, suck it up and move on. I also suggest that you tell your mom, nicely, that you do not want to be put into the middle of the "affair" or the divorce, and that she is going to have to work out her issues without dragging you into it just because she may feel "guilt ridden" and want to "share", both which are, a bit of a crock, in my opinion. Time for you to lead your life and let them lead theirs. Not a pleasant thing, but there it is.
  • Your mother needs someone else to confide in. By divulging awkward or delicate information to you she is putting you at risk and may in turn overwhlem/bias you towards your dad. By relieving her stress onto you she is making your position more difficult. Perhaps if she can get a therapist and maybe you may want one too unless you already have someone else to turn to, someone outside of the family and not directly impacted by the divorce. Though make sure that anything she tells you is kept in confidance. She may not think to tell you that what she tells you is meant to be private. And under no circumstances become an information ferrier between your folks. They are adults and should deal with this themselves. Even if one asks you to tell the other something (however harmless it may seem, passive-agressive games can become very ugly) do not do it. It's not your responcibility nor your place. I really hope things smooth out for you over time and that you can keep your head down long enough for that too happen. Best of luck.
  • Your mother is very selfish for telling you this - she should have kept HER mouth shut to you and opened it up to the man she openly said "till death do us part" to. I agree with chaos99 - tell her that if she doesn't let your father know - you will.
  • Er, I assumed from the first half of the question that she was telling you this *after* she told your father. If she said/implied he doesn't know, tell him, or at least tell him he needs to talk to her or something. If she didn't say/imply anything either way, check with her whether he knows.
  • I would assume that if they are divorcing your dad already knows. Just be supportive of each of them in their choice to move on and try not to get stuck in the middle.
  • Don't be so naive. More than likely if they have been together 20 years, he knows she is cheating and either does not care, is thankful (so he can conduct his own), or a little of both. I have been married 20 and I knew when she did it and ended up leaving her because she tried to deny it and after two years confessed. We know our partners habits and patterns after so many years. We tend to tel on ourselves when we are forced to change up our habits to fit someone else in. Pops may shock your mom when she "reveals" her ginormous secret, just hope she is woman enough to take a dose of her own fould medicine. Biggest question is why do you feel such alligeance to someone who obviously respects you so little that she would let you in on a lie against your dad, and as you to look into his face from that point forward a liar and co conspirator. If your dad doesn't know and finds out later you knew, he will love you stil, but not trust you as you would fel the same if a loved one held knowledge like this. Your mom lied, it was out of line for her to confide this to you as she would a friend. You are his child, not her buddy. If your brother knew your husband was cheating on you, should he look into your eyes and smile with a secret, or tell you. Eventually we all find out these things and blame everyone that knew, but didn't love us enough to tell us, no excuses.
  • It depends really, how do you want the divorce to play out? Chances are if you keep quiet, your mom will rape your father for everything he's worth. However if you can site precedent and show that she's been having an affair, it will put your father on equal footing, he may not lose most of his;house, retirement funds, car, etc etc. I would tell him, no offense but your mother lied to both of you and is now going after your father for whatever he may have, thats not right no matter how you cut it.
  • I'd let that one be. I know it's hard to not tell your father, but your mother confided in you. Telling your father will not only cause a rif with him but your mother will be livid on you not keeping her secret and not feeling as she can trust you. I know it's hard and they are both your parents, but this is their situation to work out. Although, I do think it unfair that your mother put you in that situation by telling you something of that nature. That was not something a parent should tell their child, no matter what age the child is. Keep your head up, in the end sometimes its best if we all don't know everything.
  • in my opinion, your mother should have not come to you and told you that she is having an affair. parents should never put their child in the middle of their problems and indescretions. my father did the same to me and i did tell my mother. i told her out of anger and to this day wish i had never done that. i still resent my parents for putting me in the middle of their problems. i would keep quiet because everything will unravel on its own without your interference. your mother in my opinion should be ashamed of telling you that.
  • No, let her worry about that, you don't wanna get caught in the middle of them...good luck
  • it is none of your business hon - be there and listen for both of them
  • i tink u shoud talk 2 youre mom about the bad exsample shes given u raite know
  • First of all, I cannot believe that your mom put you in this position. She had no right to do that. It's up to her to talk to your dad about her wanting a divorce. What you can do is be there to support your dad emotionally and make sure you get any counseling that you might need because of this.
  • When my parents divorced I stayed out of it as much as I could.
  • I would just keep quiet and just let your parents work it out. Hang in there!
  • Keep quiet.They can work on their own problems.
  • Probably depends which parent you will want to live with
  • just keep quiet.the same thing happened in my family. i was 17.my parents divorced. my dad didnt have any real idea why.other than maybe the fact that he was an alcohlic. after i found out my mom was having an affair i was so torn up.i always thought so highly of her.and after that i didn't know what to believe in anymore.my world was turned uside down.i lost all hope for everything,anything.but anyways i had to be the 1 to tell my dad. i still remember that day.i hated that moment.
  • wow... i must say... my mom didn't marry until i was 18, i never had a father, and now that she is married i couldn't imagine being in this situation I'm sorry hun ask your mother if she's planning to tell him, and if so when sounds like a tug of war on your heart and soul
  • You should leave it alone. They are getting a divorce so what difference does it make? And if she has money he will take her to the cleaners. lol no seriously your moms stuff will catch up with her sooner or later and you don't want to strain the relationship with your mom either.
  • Wow let get ole mom a nomination to parent of the year! You are now keeping her affair a secret from your father and if he finds out you knew he will be hurt. The best thing is to remain quiet and tell your mother that you dont appreciate the position she has put you in and distance yourself from them both until its over. Based on the fact your mother has been unfaithful and is willing to drag you into her drama the divorce will be ugly. For your own sanity stay away.
  • i am so very very sorry to hear that! I would kind of stay out of it! But i would tell your mom that she needs to tell your dad with in a timely manor other wise tell her you will tell him! but again sorry
  • Thats terrible.:( I would try to get your mom to tell him.
  • as hard as it may be, I think this is your parents battle to fight. However, you might talk to you mom and tell her how you feel about not telling you dad. 20 years is a long time to be married....give her a chance to tell him on her own terms.
  • First of all sorry that is happening in the prime of your life but first of all don't blame yourself as you had nothing to do with it. Society has changed and married for life has taken a whole new meaning. There is too much media exposure to not staying together everywhere and your parents probably succumbed to it. I'm sure you Mom has a plan of when to tell your Dad so just be prepared for many heated fights and discussions and other hostile acts. You just need to support BOTH of your parents in their decision and do not take sides. You will still have two parents when this is over and done with. It won't be easy but you will be able to survive as many others will after you. If you experience trouble, seek professional help to get you through this. There are plenty of sources even at your school if you're in college. Just try to understand why your parents broke up and learn from it so you possibly don't make the same errors in your future relationships. It's not a cool thing but you can overcome the falling out between your parents.
  • She's dishonest and your father deserves to know. Suggest that she tells him or you will.
  • u should keep quiet period that is for ur mom to tell him. beside how do u know that ur father is not seeing anyone. im sure if she has been having an affair for the past year ur father should have noticed something, especially if they were togheter for 20 yrs. let them work that out. telling him could ruin their chances of having a somewhat good friendship when the divorce is final.
  • Seeing as your Mom is apparently selfish enough to put you behind the eight ball - my advice is to heck with Mom and do what YOU think is right for YOU.
  • If she's told you know that the divorce is going through, I find it hard to believe that he doesn't already know. You said they are divorcing, but who is divorcing who? Has she told you about her affair just to give you the respect of saying it to your face, before your dad tells you? Is he divorcing her for infidelity? Or is she divorcing him for unreasonable behaviour? I am sorry for this awful shock, but people don't stay together all those years just to throw it away for hormones and lust (if chasing tail was all they were after, they would have split up years ago) - so there has got to be a lot more turmoil and unhappiness behind this than the little you have seen. I wouldn't be too quick to paint either parent as 100% to blame. We all just stumble along doing the best we can, don't we. Assume that dad knows - or surely she would have begged you to keep quiet.
  • No, do not tell your Dad. He's probably already aware of the situation and would be embarassed if you said anything. It will be a difficult upcoming year for you, so try not to pick "sides." Seek out a counselor or respected individual so you can sort out your feelings, concerns, anger, etc. Remember: they are the adults and you are the child; none of this is your fault. Don't blame yourself, chin up, smile often and stay on your own path to adulthood.
  • That is a hard one Ms I'm 19. You are caught right in the middle of a major problem. Your mom is not only having an affair on your dad but she is also cheating on you. Though initially you may not think so down the road one day you will understand that vows are not just made between the two of them but to cover their future in its entirety which you fall under. She has betrayed you as much as him because she has put something or someone else ahead of her family. It would have been different if she divorced and then had another relationship. What was so important that it had to happen now and that she had to put the burden on your. That is not your burden to bear and that is unfair. She has made her decision but the one thing you have to ask yourself is can you look at your father every day, hug him, smile in his face and act like everything is ok and if you don't tell him and he finds out that you knew what will happen with your relationship with him will he be able to trust your love and loyalty to not your mother but to your family. Unless there are situations of infidelity on his part that you don't know about he is the victim do you keep quiet and watch him suffer but aslo you are the vicitm. Your mother by sharing this with you have put you in bondage you are her child not her best friend forever free yourself and free your heart don't let her guilt be yours release it and breathe.
  • Honstly no one can tell you what to do. you have to make up ur mind but i can say do what ever you feel like you need to do. If you feel like you need to tell your dad i would tell him. If you feel like its not ur spot to then dont. good luck
  • hello i think you need to let your parents handle their own relationship and you as the child should be supportive of both parents. you are old enough to handle it even though i wouldn't wish it on anyone. I am sorry about your parents but let the adults deal with their problems. I sure they love you very much but i believe your mom told you so it wouldn't be a suprise to you. Just love your parents their not perfect either!
  • D@m you mom for putting you in this position. Your parent’s problems are between them and they need to keep you out of it. When I was about 13 my parents started going through their divorce and I was constantly put in the middle and I hated them for it. All I can say to you try to let them sort out their own problems, and sooner or later your dad will find out on his own. He does not need to hear this from you... Good luck...
  • YOur mom doesnt want you to be in the middle of things, i would keep quiet. even if you feel really bad about not telling your dad. My mom always told me things and promised me not to tell my dad, it was very hard for me to do since we were such bestfriends. but some things are better unsaid.
  • If it were me I would want my name to be Professor Designee... I like the sound of that...
  • If it was me I would call myself Professor Designee. I like the sound of that
  • He is your father, you have an obligation to let him know somehow. Right now, your mom is batting him over the head with an affair. Its clear she doesent care enough to have witheld this from him for over a year. I guess it's an adventure... getting it from one guy in a hotel room and coming home and getting it again from the other. Who's paying the bills? Let me guess? your dad? Not only should you tell him but, But tell him I said to hire an attourney to prep and protect himself and you for an imenent assault from your mom... If she hasen't told him for this long...I'm sure theres $$$$$$$$ in the picture. Accompany your dad to the lawyers office and make sure you are informed about what "Hell" is about to take place. Ask you dad to allow you attend the meeting with the attourney (your old enough) Empower yourself with knowledge and dont go through this with your eyes closed. Good Luck
  • If she isn't going to tell your dad, then you have to. Think about what it is like for him, he deserves to know.
  • More and likey, your dad already knows. Also, more and likely, he isn't happy either. If someone cheats on someone they supposedly love, then it really isn't love in my opinion. But, sometimes it takes something like that for a couple to re-evaluate their marriage and some even end up closer. Who knows?
  • I went through this same thing with my parents. Mine split about 10 years ago. I knew long before my dad did, and didn't tell him. I finally did a few years ago. I have felt like total S*** for the last 13 years, because I knew and didn't wanna be the one to break his heart. It's your choice whether or not you tell him, but what a lot of people aren't realizing is that you are already caught in the middle of it. And you also have to live with the guilt that you knew and said nothing. Yeah, your dad's probably going to be really upset about it, but it isn't you he'll be upset with. He'll be proud of you for having the nerve to step up and tell him what you know. What's the odds your mom will say anything to him about the affair? my mom said nothing for many years. She cheated 8 years before she left
  • Yeah i wouldn't say nothing.Cause it would cause more problem's to deal with.Seeing ur mom would probably lie about it to ur dad.And make u look like the bad guy.
  • I'd just keep it to myself. The divorce is immenent and nothing is to be gained by it. Just let it happen.
  • i think you're in all your right to tell your parents how you're feeling about this situation. But do not and i repeat do not get involved in the separation progress. these people decided long before you existed that they wanted to be together and the decision has to be made on their own as well. if they try to involve you just respectfully decline to talk about it after you've made your peace. remind them that you love them no matter what. sometimes divorces can get ugly and adults like to behave like children and unfortunately some parents like to make their children against the other. it seems that you're a mature young woman so make it clear that you want no part in it but that you still love them equally no matter what.
  • How selfish of her to expect you to be burdened with that knowledge. Do not say anything to your father, but instead let your mother know that you don't appreciate being caught up in her marital problems.
  • Stay out of it.

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