That is a very hard decision to make but unfortunately you are the only one that can make that decision. To me adoption is better than an adortion, i know it is hard but at least you would be giving the child a chnace to live. Good Luck!!

Seek help from a pregnancy counselor. To find a counselor to help you make your decision, contact a local church, or planned parenthood, or your yellow pages. eta: I glanced at your other questions - you have been trying to get pregnant? You sound very young, which is why I'm concerned about this. You need to see a mental health professional, and figure out why you feel the need to fill a void by making a baby. It's not fair to the child. Good luck.

I recognized your profile name and looked at your previous questions: http://www.answerbag.com/user/sub_review?id=102648&list=q If you are indeed pregnant, you may want to get some real guidance and possible help with how to proceed. You sound very young and confused. Please seek out someone who can actually sit down with you and go over all of your options. Good luck.

is the guy who raped you in jail?please tell me he is! and please dont have an abortion...go talk to your preacher/priest about this.please,abortion is murder. i am so sorry that that atrocity happened to you,this has me VERY HEATED!!!i hope and pray that that coward is faced with a lifetime in prison with big bubba as his cell mate.

i think that if you don't want either of those two guys to be the father of the baby, then don't tell them your pregnant, and give the up for adoption. it is he best way to go, abortion is wrwong and you cant raise a baby with someone you can't stand. if however, the two people are people you cant hide the fact that your pregnant from, then just claim the baby isn't theirs, and give the baby up for adoption. i see adoption as your best choice.

Obviously it's a personal decision, but I have some experience in this area so thought I'd comment. I am not understanding why you are in this situation when you stated you were trying to get pregnant in a previous question, but now you have changed your mind? I gave up a child for adoption when I was very young, and I have never regretted my decision. I had no money, the father was not around, and I was nowhere near mature enough to be a parent. She was adopted by a wealthy family who had been unable to have children of their own for years. Now she's a beautiful well-adjusted 16 year old young woman. I am so happy that her "parents" were able to provide for her what I never could have. If I had kept her, she would have lived in poverty with a teenage mom, no dad, and no advantages whatsoever. I don't see any sense in that at all. ANYONE can give birth, but many are not ready to be a MOM. If I had an abortion, this beautiful young woman wouldn't exist today. So, in my opinion, adoption is one of the most viable solutions.

As much as I think you should look for guidance elsewhere, I'm going to have to recommend abortion to you. Sending this kid up for adoption is not going to guarantee it a happy future, rather the reverse. Having a kid when you're young and you don't want one will mess your life up, and mess up the kid's life in return. Unless you want this kid to grow up to be a social misfit like the guy who raped you, do the already overpopulated Earth a favour and get an abortion. I'm sorry.

I don't know where you're from but in America there are community services that can help you having your kid as they allow it to live in a place with more kids plus a personal life,not like the other places look like. I am not sure what you ask since you blocked all the ways :/

I think that you should weigh your options,and talk to a counsler.

1. If you know who "this guy" is, you should tell the police. If he rapes one woman, he's likely to rape other women. 2. Blood & DNA tests after the birth will tell you which of them started the pregnancy. That person will be responsible for child support if you keep the child. Do you think either of them will pay it? Can you afford the child without support? You can force both men, even if the rapist is not convicted or arrested, to take paternity tests -- your local welfare office will handle that for you, usually. 3. Adoption: is it possible that either of these men would want to keep and raise the child himself? A father's release is almost always required to release a child for adoption. (Whether this applies to men convicted of rape depends on where you live). 4. A counselor would be able to give you more help. Don't be afraid to talk with the counselors at Planned Parenthood. They do NOT push abortion, although they can tell you where to get one if that is YOUR choice. They have a lot of experience with girls & women in your situation, and they do not charge for counseling. 5. Keep an eye on the clock. Whatever you decide, it should be a decision made soon, or Mother Nature will decide for you. You have my sympathy on your difficulties.

ok first of all, do not let anyone tell you abortion is murder...it is a woman's right to choose ..but if you want to keep the baby that is uo to you. all of these decisions are ones that you, unfortunately have to make. but first things first, you need to see someone about the rape...no one should ever have to have that happen but unfortunately you did and now you have to take care of yourself. no matter what you do, whether its abortion, adoption or keep the baby, good luck to you and dont give up.

You posted a question on December 12th stating that you'd been TRYING to get pregnant for five months with no success. So if you'd been trying so hard to get pregnant for so long, why the change of heart now?

You hate abortion, but can't live with yourself through adoption, and don't want to raise the baby with his/her father. That's quite a conundrum. Is there an older family member that will help you raise the child, perhaps? It sounds like you already know your basic options, but may not know where assistance can come from, depending on your decision. I don't want to preach, but please make a decision soon. Planned parenthood is truly a good organization, regardless of your choice.

I do not agree with abortion, and it would be hard to put a baby up for adoption after 9mo. You could look into and open adoption where the birth mother still gets to see the baby certain times of the year ei: birthday's, holidays, or whatever is worked out with the parents adopting the baby. Its a tough choice to have to make, but you are the only one that can make it.

The guilt you will face at giving your child away to a loving family is nothing compared to the guilt you will feel for taking your child's life. I know it sounds impossible, and like it will ruin your life, but please, if you have to choose between them, think of your child, not your own feelings, okay? And there are other options though. There are organizations who will help you financially and with counseling, especially for the rape. There are people who care, a lot. Search in your yellow pages under "abortion alternatives" and see what comes up.

1. You need to got to the police and file charges against the guy who raped you. He may not get charged because all the evidence is gone. Unless the baby's his, then, DNA could prove that you at least had sex. 2. You need to get into counceling right away. Not only for the rape, but for the whole situation you've put yourself in. You have to find out why you are putting youself into such self destrutive situations. 3. You need to see a doctor. No matter what you decide you need to get medical treatment for both you and the baby. 4. You need to get a lawyer. He can help you by being you advocate with the police and he can give you help if you decide to put the baby up for adoption. As well as setting up DNA tests and such. Now on to my suggestions on what to do. I'm very much against abortion. Especially at the stage you are. That baby already has the beginings of the brain, spinal cord, heart, and lungs. I've seen it make the problem far worse then what it should have been. Not one of the people I've know who have had one has ever done anything but regret it. And they suffer badly for it. I definitly think you should not keep it. The situation you are in would make it too hard for you to raise this child. You're not in the right place mentaklly to care for the baby. And do you really want to be dealing with either of these guys till the baby's 18? I don't think so. As far as I can tell adoption would be your best choice. Not only for you, but for the baby as well. Think about it. You could be making something good happen out of something bad. And living with the idea of your baby growing up in a loving family is a hell of a lot better then the memory of an abortion.

You need to think about this before you make a decision. Having an abortion is wrong, giving it up- you will always think about where he or she could be at. Just follow your heart.

i, as well, looked at all of your questions... man oh man... first you're trying to get pregnant... then you want ur friend's baby daddy... and you are preg. but you don't know by who... you've got some issues and all the advice on here isn't going to help, you need professional help... any therapists on here??? that should be your next question

i, as well, looked at all of your questions... man oh man... first you're trying to get pregnant... then you want ur friend's baby daddy... and you are preg. but you don't know by who... you've got some issues and all the advice on here isn't going to help, you need professional help... any therapists on here??? that should be your next question

When it is born you can see whos blood it is.. If it has lots of you and the father... You're real boy friend then keep it even if it has 3 percent of blood of the others man. Dont destroy the baby. You will kill it. Make a choice I, my choice for you is not to kill it. Now it is you're choice to kill it or not.

i would say just to go through with it all b/c if you have an abortion you will regret it for the rest of your life, same as putting it up for adoption, not to mention that you would want to find him/her later on in life and that wouldn't be fair to the child. And doing one ogf the two is not going to erase the memory of the rape but ya.... that is my opinion

Hi! well im kinda in the same boat! i am also 4 weeks pregnant, im 19, and i dont know if its my boyfriends of 5 1/2 years or one of his old friends that called me outta the blue. see, we already have a 20 month old. we have been pretty much faithfull to each other. i just recently moved back in with my mom from his house because it was with his mom and too small for all of us. when i moved he got mad and said it was over. although, we always say that and it never really ends. at the time it was "over" his old best friend called outta no where. we havent seen him in years. i met up with him and things happened. now my man and i are back together and he just found out yesterday im prego and i dont know how to tell him it could possible be not his!!! i dont believe in abortion either and how would a kid feel if i gave it up but it would have an older brother that i kept and was younger when i had it?? u know! well anyways maybe we can talk

You want to know what to do now, well first of all you need to grow up. You have been wanting a baby for awhile now, as previous post has said, now you have what you wanted but don't like the father. Well honey, to hell with the dad, if it was a baby you wanted god has given that to you, love yourself, love your baby, no matter where he/she came from. You already said you can't have an abortion and you wouldn't be able to live with yourself if you gave it up for adoption, so what other choice do you have. Be the best mother you can be to that baby, always remember you asked for a baby, the baby didn't ask for you. He/She may not have come like you hoped but it has been created.

I know this is a very hard time for you but from what you've told me i'd say that the most sensible solution is to have an abortion.I know you dont want to but in time you'll realise this is the best solltion for all involved there are to many unwanted babies in the world all ready good luck.x x x

Ive been there i have was raped 16 years ago and had a baby boy. i was even offered $50,000 and a condo in Florida +all expenses to sell my baby and im so glad i never even thought about it. my son is the most greatest gift from god . he weighed 2Lbs 9ozs when born and died 9 times after coming home as he was 3 months early i didnt even know i was pregnant till i had my first labor pains.(i thought i had food poisoning) lol he is every bit of goodness that god created and im so glad he is mine. even though this was a horrible crime you have the chance to mold him into a wonderful work of art. and if you look at the crime as something that cant be changed but you aint gonna let no one win over you then you can cope better. if you ever need to talk just message me im on here everyday. xoxoxo

I was adopted as an infant because my birth mother was in the same situation. In fact, my brother and sister were adopted too...PLEASE DONT FEEL BAD ABOUT ADOPTION!!!!! It was the best decision my mother made for me. My adoptive parents were great and Im now a successful adult, and one day I hope to thank my mother for that decision. What I would recommend is, yes, get professional help from a social worker or adoption counselor, even if you choose to not go that way, they can help answer all your questions and resolve all the legal issues. I know it sounds so cliche, but please do what's best for the baby and give it a chance :)

Put the baby up for adoption. This is not about what is convenient for you. It's about your unborn child.