It shouldn't be considered cheating until she admits that she kissed him, or more, but I wouldn't trust her just yet. The best thing to do is sit down and talk to her and ask her what is going on, like if she feels that there are problems in your realtionship, is unhappy with the sex life, etc. Maybe she just wants a little more attention, not that her way was the right way to get it. Ask her to explain to you what happened on the day she went out with him and why she felt a need to. As your wife, if she can't sit down face to face with you and talk these things out, then there are definite issues deeper than you know of. You should be very open with her about your feelings too. I know that can be hard for guys some times, but it is very important that you both are open and know how each other feels if the relationship is to last. Then talk to your ex best friend seperately. Even though that relationship is no longer good, he should at least be able to talk to you about it with common decency. Just approach him calmly and be rational. Ask him why she went to him, or visa versa, what they talked about, etc. Deviations in their stories might be a hint to you of whether or not anything happened that they don't want to cop to. And watch their expressions as you normally would, given the relationships you should be able to some what judge whether or not they are leaving anything out. You have the right to know what is going on so ask what you feel like asking both of them. Just do it with a level head. Blowing up will only make it worse. After all the statements are collected, it will be up to you to do the weighing and to decide whether or not you can go on and trust her to be faithful. If you can't trust her at that point but still want to try, than you might consider couples counseling. It really can help and is nothing to be ashamed of. Many situations in life can be fixed with the help of a mediator. And, if that doesn't work, than my friend it might be time to just let go. Remember the old saying, "If you love something set it free, if it returns it is yours, if it doesn't then it was never meant to be." I hope that it was. Good luck.

you actually asked if they had sex... how about asking where you have been going wrong so that you could improve or work on it..

you actually asked if they had sex... how about asking where you have been going wrong so that you could improve or work on it..

If she had to lie about it, yes it is cheating. How do you know that they didnt have sex? Obviously she had to lie about spending time with him so how do you know nothing happened? And if she lied about this what else did she lie about?

Yes because she lied Ask her questions about eg if she think he is attractive and see if she gets uneasy about it? There is more there than meets the eye

if they lied about it then there is something wrong here. why hide it if it's a friendship. something is up. the same happen to me. i turned around to my husband and said, 'if she is such a good friend of yours, why aren't i involved in this relationship as a friend too, i am your wife!' trusting her is an issue you have to sort out yourself, it's your feelings and your gut instinct, go with it. yes i would call it cheating.

Dont jump into conclusion and think that that your wife is cheating. it is a little suspicious that they would spend the day together and lie about, there is something going on, but you dont know, for what you know they can be planning something out for you...maybe your wife wants to know something about you through your friend(exfriend). study her a little...check if anything changes, talk about your former friend with her for a while and see how she reacts

They lied about being together - that's not a good sign. I'd try and talk to her about it more, if she's blowing you off then I'd be worried. What does your gut tell you? Why is this person a "former" best-friend? and why would your wife be hanging out with him? So many questions and no answers. I'd pursue this until I felt comfortable with what I know. She said they didn't have sex - well what did go on????

The question of how to handle infidelity in a relationship can be a very hard one to answer, but one that should be dealt with immediately. Otherwise, suspicions can grow from casual wondering thoughts to unconfrontable mountains and resentment very quickly. You deserve someone that is 100% yours and nothing less. At the very least you need to know where you stand so you can make an informed decision about whether there is any future for you in this relationship. In all cases, open communication with your partner is extremely important and will provide the most effective solutions. Don't let yourself or your partner fall into the trap of holding things back and not talking about the situation, as that, all in itself, will lead to the end of your relationship, whether you physically break up or not. "Loneliness is never more cruel than when it is felt in close (proximity) with someone who has ceased to communicate." Germaine Greer, The Female Eunuch With healthy, open communication, you can create a bond with your partner that is so strong that nothing could break it. Any and all problems that arise can be handled immediately and with fairly little effort as, with communication, there is always plenty of love and trust. That is the ideal scene of any relationship. So, the first thing to do is to talk to your partner and find out if, in fact, you really do have something to worry about. If what you suspect does in fact turn out to be true, then they really have to make a choice and decide which relationship they are going to pursue. One point that needs to be made here is that in no circumstances should you settle for anything less than a 100% commitment either way from your partner. Now, in order for them to make a choice, there are a few things that your partner is going to have to honestly evaluate. Have them think about the following questions and then come back to you with a decision.

They never should have lied about seeing each other...that would make me really suspicious that there were more lies hidden there. I think you need more information before you do anything drastic.

So what did they do ?.. preparing B'day surprise for you ?

The fact that they hid the time together for me makes it cheating and would make it hard to trust either of them going forward. If it was on the up and up, she at least would have said before the day that there was something they wanted to do together and ask if you would be ok with that. Your wife from a female perspective is not feeling satisfied with some aspect of being married and seems to have a roving eye- your best friend is a familiar person to her and first pick. Your best friend showed huge disrespect towards you and regardless who initiated it, this should be looked at as a huge red flag. Sex (or lack of) is not the defining issue here for me, it is the deception from two people you trust. Would you consider a mate on the internet with 3 other ladies, sending love emails and virtual gifts while telling his partner everything is fine between them cheating? It is still a redirection of attention outside the relationship with or without sex.

Oh my freind, Only you two will have the answer. Remember, love is just create by you and her. And the minute either party stop believe in this love, it nolonger exist. Now you have to ask each other, do you still want to love each other again, and only till you two have the mutual understand. A good relationship is about communication...

Why is this person your "former best friend"? . Were they friends prior to your relationship with your wife? . Wondering if you can "trust her anymore" sounds pretty ... well ... extreme. Can you trust us to give you a good answer? .

Well, I wouldn't believe a word that came out of her mouth. She straight of lied to you to begin with. Why the hell else would they meet up all secretive. Man you have some serious things to get through. I say if you don't have kids with her, bounce. End it now. Don't even ask for an explanation. She's garbage.

Whether or not they slept with each other, the lying definitely arouses suspicion. If they were innocent, why would they deceive you? I definitely would not trust her again for a long time, if ever.

Life is too short to not trust. What do you have to lose by trusting her. Feelings? Your tough, you will live. You really want to figure out what is going on? I would express my concerns for the lieing, and let her know that if she needs to talk to you that you are here. Unless she is a really twisted individual the guilt of cheating will eat her up. If your jealous and crazy and mean about it, it will feed her fanatasy and desires. Be really nice and understanding, it will drive her nuts. Basically if she is cheating it is for 1 of 2 reasons: 1 - she is done with you, in which case oh well nothing you can do, move on. or 2 - she wants attention, in which case dont give it to her for the sneaking around it will only make it more interesting for her. Last but not least, if you must ask someone, ask your best friend, he is more likely to tell something than she is. Plus he probably feels worse than she does, if anything happened, and he wont be able to hide it. Good Luck, and God Bless!