How do I encourage a teenaged boy to involve his father in his life even though we are divorcing?
by 
Faith111
ANSWERS: 2
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Unless there is already an estrangement of sorts, there may not be a problem ... our teenagers are really pretty intuitive, and quietly independent, about such things. Rather than "tell" him, I would suggest just asking a few leading questions from time to time and see where they lead ... "what do you think your Dad would feel about ____?" ... "ya know, as aggravating as your Father may be sometimes, I'll bet he would be kinda interested in what you're doing there ...". Try to catch him doing/thinking the right things, and then let him know that he has been caught!
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It's not easy explaining to children that you and your partner's divorce does not mean that they also will be divorcing from a relationship with one of you. When my 1st wife and I divorced we agreed to put our differences aside to speak with our children. Children often blame themselves or one parent for the break-up, and they will change their relationship to protect themself and the parent they see as needing protection. You need to be adult about the mess so that your son sees this as the way to behave. Don't disrespect your partner in front of him and ask your partner to do likewise. I hope this is of some use to you.
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