Sexuality and Gender in the Bible
 
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Christians or Non: My girlfriend (who is also a christian and a virgin) is pressuring me to have sex with her. I've told her we should wait until we are engaged or married, but she doesn't want to wait that long. What should I do?

By Anonymous Asked May 4 2008 5:38PM
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Top Answer out of 12

by Anonymous on May 4, 2008 at 6:02 pm Permalink

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If she can't honor your choice, then I don't forsee your relationship lasting. You shouldn't ever break a vow or change your values, when it concerns that, to fulfill your partner's needs. I would say find someone else that actually feels the same about sex after marriage.
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Avatar anushya May, 04 2008 at 06:44 PM
actually if both people consent then i think there's no problem there no matter what religion you are but one person doesn't want to do it because of values and principles i think the other should respect that person's decision in fact the other person should be damn proud of his/her partner for having such high values. personally i don't think you should give in, if she waits then all is good but if she doesn't want to wait and you guys break up because of that..then all is good for you too..its a win-win situation for you if you wait...good luck
Avatar Anonymous May, 04 2008 at 06:46 PM
Yes, if both consent, then go for it...like you said...but only one..and they can't see your choice and honor it...then that's not good.
Avatar Anonymous May, 01 2009 at 01:15 PM
I agree.

Answer 2 out of 12

by lost on May 6, 2008 at 5:31 pm Permalink

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Don't let her force you to have sex with her. Biblically, sex isn't even allowed until after marriage anyway.
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Avatar Anonymous May, 01 2009 at 01:15 PM
A lot of Christian women and men have trouble living up to this.

Answer 3 out of 12

by Anonymous on May 1, 2009 at 1:10 pm Permalink

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Don't compromise your values.
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Answer 4 out of 12

by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on Aug 18, 2008 at 8:22 pm Permalink

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She sounds like a predator. I doubt she is a virgin. She just wants you to put a seed in her belly so you are forced to marry her. Don't fall for this kind of trickery.
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Avatar joebud Nov, 13 2009 at 02:46 PM
You are most likely correct.

Answer 5 out of 12

by JimmyO on May 4, 2008 at 8:53 pm Permalink

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Sex before marriage is against God's Law in the Bible. Jesus Christ said so, that even looking at another to commit adultery is like already committing adultery in the heart. You cannot have it both ways. If you are a Christian, you must wait until after marriage. If you cannot do that, then don't call yourself Christian. That would be a lie. Going to church would be a waste of time. If your minister says sex before marriage is OK, he is against scriptures. His church should be taxed and closed down. People have been executed for being Christian. Abstaining from sex is less than death.
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Avatar Anonymous May, 05 2008 at 01:21 PM
Well I agree that its God's law to not do that. But Christians fail often, but that doesn't mean they aren't Christians anymore. Unless you are one who believes Christians can lose their salvation, which I don't believe. We can't forget that we also have a forgiving God as well. But I am wondering how far is too far? Is a kiss wrong? Is a hug wrong? Is a certin look wrong? In that case Christians world wide sin every day. Its hard to know where to draw the line.
Mainly if we did break up, I wouldn't want her or me to have to tell a new person that we don't have this wonderful gift to give them when we got married.
Avatar the Otter has a technicolor dream COAT Nov, 14 2009 at 01:20 AM
Excellent response, Anonymous. Couldn’t have said it better myself.

Answer 6 out of 12

by Designer4theking...loves her kitties on Aug 18, 2008 at 9:42 pm Permalink

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If your girlfriend respects you she will wait. You need her to be understanding and respect you or what will it be like in marriage with not respect. It starts now and you have values and beliefs. I think that is so wonderful to see. Bless you for waiting that is what a real man of God is.
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Answer 7 out of 12

by Red Archer on May 6, 2008 at 12:33 pm Permalink

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You'll need to keep an eye on her. If she is willing to for go the will of the bible and wants to have sex she may find someone else behind your back to have sex with. So she'll be breaking the church and your trust.
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Avatar Retrovampire Aug, 19 2008 at 05:12 AM
Just because someone wants to have sex outside of wedlock it doesnt make them untrustworthy.

Answer 8 out of 12

by autumn leaves on Nov 13, 2009 at 9:48 pm Permalink

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you should do what the bible says, and abstain from relations. first of all i wonder how old you are? in this country it is perfectly acceptable to start relationships prematurely. the bible teaches that the dating process is for individuals that are of marrying age. dating is not a pasttime, but a serious step towards marriage. when you are ready for that important step in your adult life, even then it is done under strict supervision. this is meant to protect you from committing immorality. just think, if more people applied this counsel in their lives would we have the rampant immorality we see worldwide? for more information go to www.watchtower,org.
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Answer 9 out of 12

by JimmyO on May 5, 2008 at 2:56 pm Permalink

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The anonymous answer questions how far is too far. The scriptures are quite plain. Sexual intercourse outside of marriage is too far. Hugging, kissing, holding, are acceptable and not a sin. But each of these is a on a road to sexual relations. That is the way God intended. Sex is reserved for married people. Yes, we get forgiveness for sins, but the Bible says we must "not use the grace of God as an excuse for loose conduct." In otherwords, don't plan on sin with the idea of asking for forgiveness later. If we sin willfully, there is the danger of becoming calloused and at one point not asking for forgiveness. Then we are lost. If we go the opposite direction of serving God, we may never get off that path to destruction. Yes, we all sin daily. Unintentional sins based on imperfection. Serious, gross sins center on the laws set out in the 10 Commandments, which were fulfilled in Jesus. Those laws still stand and are very clear, no grey area. Murder, stealing, adultery, God's Law. There are no loopholes. God's laws are clear. Religious leaders today rarely discuss immorality, for fear they will condemn their congregations. No news is good news for them. Too bad for them. We must not water down the written Word of God. Yes, we can cease to be Christian. The Apostle Paul, who wrote much of the New Testament as letters to congregations, hoped that he himself would not somehow lose God's approval after all of his service and obedience to his heavenly Father. Who will be saved? Matthew 24:13 says "he that endures to the end is the one who will be saved." Meaning, those who do not endure will not be saved. Let's all wake up people, Christianity involves our very lives. We are in charge of our personal health. We are also in charge of our personal spirituality. Start reading and studying God's inspired Word, the Bible, instruction manual for planet Earth. How do you put a bicycle together? Read the directions. How do you live on the planet Earth? Read the directions.
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Answer 10 out of 12

by gavinj1999 on May 6, 2008 at 3:00 pm Permalink

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If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Simple.

Do not sleep with this girl until you are absolutely ready and if ( or when) you do use contraception, lots of it.

Again, If you are not ready, then you are not ready. Simple.
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Avatar the Otter has a technicolor dream COAT Nov, 14 2009 at 01:22 AM
Gavin, why would you recommend they use contraception? If he’s waiting for marriage, he obviously wants to keep God’s commandments (which include having children).
 
For the record, I’m not saying contraception is necessarily wrong; I just don’t think it has anything to do with the scenario presented.
 
HTH!


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Christians or Non: My girlfriend (who is also a christian and a virgin) is pressuring me to have sex with her. I've told her we should wait until we are engaged or married, but she doesn't want to wait that long. What should I do?

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