ya, if they havent changed and you wont do drugs then dosnt mean you should stop being there friend.

No. Seeing as I am a person strongly against the aforementioned things, I just wouldn't be able to have much respect for them. To me, substance abuse is one of the most irresponsible and immature things a person can do. It tells me that they are either insanely insecure (if following a crowd) or just really stupid.

Okay try to look at it this way, you looked up to this person and respected this person for specific reasons, what where they? Has this person ever pushed the bad habit on to you? Some times for reasons unknown people fall into things that easily get out of control. Addiction is a terrible thing that is not easy to get under control. This is the time when you can be the person that is respected and looked up too. My husband is a recovering alcoholic. He did not ask to be one. We all drank growing up. I drank he drank. I stopped when I decided I wanted children. He did not he went on drinking year after year, until one day it just became to much for him. It began to run his life. When he tried to stop, there was no stopping. We together worked at this for a long time, and with the power of AA and I thank God for the program, he is sober. I could have just walked away, but he was my friend and husband. Friends do not walk away. Friends stay friends help one another. Talk to your friend discuss how you feel, feel your friend out does he or she want help. They may not now, but let them know you are there for them down the road. You respected them once respect them now.

Okay... I'm just adding to my question. I never really considered this person my "friend", more like an acquaintance and someone I've admired. When I met her 2 years ago, I'm like, 99% sure she wasn't into this lifestyle. But it was only recently I found out that she is now and it is just something I never would have imagined her doing. Anyways. I think I agree more with luckyjeans' answer. I lost some respect and admiration I have for her. She wasn't the rolemodel I thought she was - no body's perfect. I just asked this question to see if someone would feel the same as I did. Thanks for your answers though.

This can be a heartbreaker. especially if the person is a family member or someone you love. How long have you known this person? smoking is bad enough, but the excessive drinking and drugs can destroy not only themselves, but also the people that have looked up to this person, as you have stated. Now, looking at this person, takes on a new light. I would at least give this person a chance to redeem themself. if you have not done so, talk to this person and explain how they have let you down. It may not hit home to this person, but at least you will have the satisfaction of getting this feeling off your chest. who knows, it may work.

How are they handling their lives? If you looked up to them and they have not changed their behavior, then I would not think anything. If you find out they have a negative side due to this, it's time to find another hero. All you said in this question is that YOU are against this behavior, not the person who is using. If they are a hypocrite, then they are just another sick addict who is in denial. Try al-anon for a meeting or two if you would like more information on that one.

Yes, I am opposed to all these things you listed because of the damage it can do to ones personal health and well being. Can you still love this person and look up to them for what they represent in your life? If so then you have your answer. If not, then question yourself as to what has changed other than this one item you disagree with. Did this person suddenly loose value not just in your eyes but the eyes of those of society? The person is the same person so you are basing your question only on personal feelings towards those things you have listed as being outside your beliefs. None of us are perfect, if we were we would be God wouldn't we? I would therefore look at this person in the same way and over look his prefrence for smoking, drugs and excessive drinking. This person may need your help someday and would you be willing to help them at that time overlooking these things? If you cannot do any of these things then for him and yourself you should no longer be in this persons life or association.

No, I would lose respect for the person and no longer trust anyone to be my "hero". It was a lie, what I thought was not the truth and I would feel deceited. When you idolize someone you feel they are better than you somehow but if this were the case I would no longer feel like he/she was better than me but I was in fact the better one.

part of growing up is learning how to react when people we look up to let us down. when we are disappointed by those we love, of course if affects how we feel toward them, at first. hopefully any damage done to a relationship can be repaired by talking and modifying our expectations, but i doubt you will ever feel the exact same toward the person. but you will probably have a more realistic view of them

I'm strongly against such things, but turns out the girl I love drinks and smokes, but I still like her no less. She doesn't like me tho, that's my only problem:P

I would feel a bit disappointed, but if they were older (30+), mature, and no longer did those things, I'd give them a chance. Sometimes people who've recovered from excess drug and alcohol abuse have benefited and grown wiser from this life experience.

this is still the same person u looked up to, nothing changed but the way you now see them because of what u think

I would still look at that person the same way but I'd try to talk him out of it or suggest something he might do to get hold of his/her life again.

Yes i would still feel the same way about them. Those things are not the person. I really wouldn't feel I had any right to try to encourage them to change their behavior unless it was causing them or others pain or they really wanted to themselves. We've all got our own things we do that people don't like. I try to focus on my own junk first.

Yes becuase its not like by them doing those things make them the person that they are. they person you love and look up to has been themselves becuase what you look up too comes from the heart =]

Well.. I was against all these things and I found out my boyfriend who i've been with a year now. I found out he was an extreme drug abuser, chain smoker and also heavy drinking. But because I loved him that much I felt no different towards him. They say you cannot choose who you love which is a pitty, but yeah anwering to ur question i would feel the same way, because i did. I loved the person far too much and just delt with it. Everyone has problems, it's life

I don't think I'd look at them differently unless they lied to me about it.

First I would lighten up!