I'm 18 and have never had a boyfriend. I'm saving my first kiss for my wedding day. Am I alone in this? Whenever I tell people about my first kiss they start attacking me. Is there a reason they cannot simply respect my choice, as I respect theirs?
by 
Anonymous
ANSWERS: 70
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What's yours is yours. Don't let those people bother you. Stick to what makes YOU happy, because, after all is said and done, You are the only person in the world who is going to wake up tomorrow.. well, You.
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who cares what people think. our society is sex crazed as it is, it's nice to see someone walk their own path
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Here's a little secret about me. I didn't have a gf in high school either. I didn't get my first gf (and first kiss) until university. So you may be different from most, but you're not alone. As for people respecting your beliefs, if they ridicule you, they're not really your friends. IMO, something personal like that, you probably want to share only with genuine friends (or compassionate strangers on AB :-)
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I think its excellent! Very special and rare. I'm glad there are others who feel the way I do.
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Nope, I've got your back! I think that is one of those things that are different for individuals. You've choosen a noble path and all the more so because you suffer ridicule for it. Stick to your guns!
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Good for you. However, the first KISS may be a bit extreme! ;-) (Unless you're using that as code!)... Kising (at least the chaste, closed-mouth, kisses) isn't "bad" as other things. If you miss THAT goal, don't be upset... Keep the followup goals! ;-) You have my admiration and respect. Good luck!
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hmm
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I respect your choice, but I would have no idea where to find a man that is willing to wait for the wedding to kiss! When you find him you know he will be a good guy right!
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I'm also 18 and also have never had a boyfriend, and I completely agree with you! Your first kiss is something that, obviously, only happens once and should be saved for the right guy! I agree with either saving your first kiss either for your wedding day or the day he proposes!
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I think waiting until after marriage for your first KISS is a bit extreme and I suspect that you will have to re-think that strategy if you actually want to get married.
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Wow that is f**king amazing. How the hell did you manage that . I get not having sex before marriage I can see some sense in that (couldn't be bothered with that myself but each to their own) If I were you I'd go and kiss someone , you might change your mind about waiting for a lot of other things before marriage. LIVE LIFE! (I do not intend to offend you btw)
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If you want to wait, that's for you to decide and others to stay out of your business. I personally waited to be married to have sex with my husband but we had kissed as a promise to each other and a sign of affection. But if you choose to withhold that as well, good for you. Find someone who respects you and your values and you will do fine:-)
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I think thats kind of funny. Good luck finding someone to marry who is ok with that. That's your decision. As far as I'm concerned- marrying someone with out having sex first, is like buying a car before test driving. I'm not saying sleep with them immediately, but after a year or 2 or 3 of dating or whatever you're comfortable with. I mean come on, what if they cant please you? You may say it doesnt matter to you. But your lying.
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I think thats amazing!
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I don't think there are too many men out there that would ask you to marry him before he ever gets a kiss from you.
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I completely respect your choice. It is your choice to make and nobody should deride you for choosing as you have. I guess the basic question that most would ask you though, is why?
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If your boyfriend is with the Taliban, I'm sure that he'll respect your choice, too. Here in the West, however, that's a little too straight-edge, even for an old fogy like me. Do you also dress so that your hair and skin are completely covered? You don't want to give someone the wrong idea by flashing an ankle or something. I find that I can't 'respect' your choice. I am compelled to ridicule it. However, I do respect your absolute right to make all the silly choices you want, and I will never attack that.
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its a nice goal. it is unrealistic. kissing is one of those activies that happen without thinking. no one will marry you if you dont kiss before your wedding day. you might be engaged for a couple years. tell me you arent gonna be kissing then.
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You are, of course, entirely entitled to make your own decision. But you might find that an unwillingness for even the most chaste of kisses is interpreted as a lack of interest, and a man will not get around to proposing. To many people, the kiss is the signal that the kissee is special enough that a closer relationship, such as engagement and later marriage, is possible. It is the signal that you consider him not just another man like all the others. So, if you follow your policy all the way, you may die unkissed.
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I think it's great that you do feel this way. I really respect that. And about what others say, who cares? They probably feel jealous or feel like they need to see you do what they did also. I for one did save myself for the only person I am going to spend my life with, first kisses and all. :) So I can assure you you are not alone.
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No, you're not alone. One of my first boyfriend's sisters hasn't had a boyfriend and wants to wait till her wedding day for her first kiss as well. I even used to say that I wanted my first kiss on my wedding day. It's too late for that now, but oh well. My sister and her husband didn't even touch each other intentionally at all before their wedding. They had their first kiss after they were married. The first time they held hands was at their wedding. They're so awesome together and they are happier than most of the couples I know.
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ok im 19 years old .. n my close friend she never had a man or a first kiss .. noting at all .. n my other friends always tell her to do something because she young n she can kiss anyone because that noting but i always tell her do what u want to do .. don't get into pressurizer..
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It is your decision of course but to know if you really love someone.....a kiss is the answer and if you really love someone you will want to kiss him no matter when or where, it just happens alone. So I'd better save the kiss for that special moment.
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You are not alone in this, but don't talk about your desire to stay chaste until you get married as it may send wrong signals and be perceived as a challenged. Respect other people's choices but don't join the talk - gently break away or change the subject of converstaion. I hope you find the person of your dreams and they are worth waiting for.
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My great grandma always was on me to get married when I was 18. I think that's why I am currently not married. I was 19 when I had my first boyfriend. I commend you for your strength. My sister is 31 and never had a boyfriend but went on a few dates.I think if I could be like that I'd save myself heartache...
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Well dear I do respect your choice. BUT!! I do think it is way to extreme and will make it very difficult for you to have someone to share that moment with. I can understand the whole practicing celibacy thing. However the kiss is too extreme. However again it is your choice. Be your own person and do what you feel is right. Good luck with everything. Dave
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DONT LET ANYONE DETER YOU FROM YOUR CONVIVTIONS AND MORALS, VALUES. THERE ARE NOT MUCH LIKE YOU OUT THERE, SO I HOPE YOU FIND A WONDERFULLLLL RESPECTABLE, LOYAL AND FAITHFUL MAN WHO WILL LOVE, RESPECT, CHERISH AND APPRECIATE THE GIFTS YOU WILL GIVE HIM ONCE HE BECOMES YOUR HUSBAND. GOOD LUCK, AND GOD BLESS SWEETHEART!!
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Kssing is like a right of passage. You tend to go through that one before marriage. Thats like saying, I'm not going to have sex until i'm dead. It just doesn't seem right. I mean i can respect it. I'm sure your friends respect it. It's just, there's no way i will ever understand that. And it's pretty hard to seem respectful if you don't understand it.
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it doesn't matter if you are alone , you are strong and wonderful and your husband will love you even more because of this decision
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Wow i totally respect that some ppl say thays unrealistic and things like that but its your choice and takes alot of self control and that is something very few teens have i always said i wasnt gonna have sex till i was married but i didnt have the self control i respect you to the fullest its good to see someone out there has self control
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r u alien?
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no your not alone and no thats not extreme. thats your beleif and if you have enough willpower to hold yourself back from kissing somebody you have my respect hands down.forget the others.let them fight there fight. you know deep down its what you want to do so screw them.its your life not theres.live it how you choose
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I agree with you =) i wanted to wait till marriage but things didnt turn out that way. Im 19 now and i had sex for the first time when i was 18, so that was a goal in itself for me. But i think that is awesome, i would of waited for you.
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no you are nt alone....its your personal decision,and i dont see any reason why your choice cannot be respected. its your personal and individual decision. as long as you respect your own decision and respect yourself...it doesn't matter if others laugh at it or respect it or not.the thing is that some people go with the trends and wat others are doing and don't know to respect individualism. so trust me trust youself and your decision. okay.and best of luck for your future lyf.
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i think that in this day and age it will be very difficult to find a husband if you won't kiss him, because that's part of the feeling that lets people know they're in love, the feeling they get when they kiss. However, i respect your ideals, and think that if you can find a man who respects you and is willing to wait then you will hopefully be very happy.
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Well, I don't mean to sound like I'm attacking you, but who do you expect to find that will marry you if you won't kiss them until the day of your supposed wedding?? Kissing is a sign of love, and I know if I were with someone who wouldn't kiss me, I would think I repulsed them... maybe you should think about that before you ever have a relationship, I can guarantee you it most likely won't last long otherwise.
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I don't know how you could marry someone without ever having kissed them. I can understand no sex before marriage, kind of. But to not even kiss anyone is just a bit extreme. I feel like you'd be missing out on so much. I couldn't handle having only kissed one person in my life. I won't have to, as I've completely ruined it by now, but even if I wanted to. Kissing is very nice. So's a bit of variety. I respect your choice to do whatever you like, and I'd never attack you for it. But it seems crazy to me. I've never met anybody else like it.
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It's really hard on your part coz people find it hypocricy to save your first kiss for your wedding but believe me,you will soon reap your harvest on your wedding day,you'll never explain the respect of your husband to you.Dont mind these people coz your body is Holy, God made it Holy,he dwells in it and he want you to save it for your husband whom to be God's gift to you.And beside you will soon be proud of yourself because you'll have a happy life
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lotsa lotsa comments. Even tho I respect your choice, why not just a kiss? What hangs up? Dont you yourself feel like kissing him? What goes thru you when you think of it? You dont say, whthr your body churns when you have any other kind of contact..like holding hands.....just make sure you do not have any other internal issues... cause, then you might find marriage a waste of time
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I think its a foolish idea, however, one that will draw a bit of attention. That being said, perhaps people aren't simply not "respecting" your choice. Don't bring it up to others if you don't want to hear their opinion. Besides, A psychologist, Richard Sternberg proposed that love is the result of three components — intimacy, passion and commitment. This is just my opinion, but, not holding the guy's hand until your wedding day isn't proving true love or a reason to get married. Live and learn, babe.
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well in my church they had this special preaching about relationships and the main speaker for the guys was......a man that didnt get his first kiss till he got married!!a dude! they wanted to save everything for the love of their life (guess speaker for the women was his wife)and they werent 100% sure of themselves.so they spoke and spoke and formed such a strong bond of love,they got married and even in their honeymoon they spoke!no sex!im not sure just how deep you are into this, but im telling you that you aren't alone,ok? after all, kissing and touching wont last forever-eventually it gets boring-but your conversations will last a lifetime.god bless
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Some Guys don't know how to properly respect women. There are a lot of guys in the world that date just to get into somone's pants. You have great goals. It may be hard for you to find the right guy but one day i'm sure you will. You are the only person who should care about what you think, as long as you know what you want and stick by your choice. I WISH YOU THE BEST OF LUCK!!!
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Perhaps this is just me, but the idea of going into your wedding night with no more sensual preparation than a kiss in front of a wedding party sounds a lot like announcing a scuba diving trip before you learn how to tread water. Frankly, it sounds positively batty. I am probably not the only one that thinks this way. You should take this into consideration when discussing your romantic choices with people.
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There are a few Christians and many Muslim men who insist on marrying a virgin. If you actually marry a guy who places that much importance on virginity, you're going to have an interesting marriage. :)
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thats cute! i haven't had my first kiss either and im also saving it for that special someone which i think ima do the same as u hehehe. oh and don't listen to what others say you are you and thats all that matters. if you had made that choice then do it and forget what others think.
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I was 19 before I had my first kiss and the first time I ever had sex too. I had a plan to save myself for marriage to but I also said if I was to find the right person to kiss and have sex with I would do it. And I am still with the guy that I losted my virginity to and we r engaged to get married so I say if you feel like its your time to kiss someone then do it and if the person can't wait until you are ready then they are not the right person for you anyway.
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you're sweet! if a guy truly loves you then he'll wait... ^u^
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There is nothing wrong with that. Maybe your critics are well-meaning and they can see downsides to your decision, so they want to warn you about it. As long as they're respectful, say "thanks" and do your own thing. If they are rude, ignore them. Just make sure you're doing this for yourself and not for your church or your parents. Ultimately, you're the one who will have to live with your decision. My only caveat to you is this: be aware that most guys will probably have more experience than you, and even if they agree to wait for a kiss, they will have kissed others before. You need to make sure you can handle this reality with grace and not get upset or jealous.
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Wow, you know you are such a smart girl. You really are. Guys will end up hurting you...or the majority will. Not every guy will. But you know, i wish that i could say i did the same, but i didnt. and just recently i found out that i was cheated on a year ago and i just now tricked him into telling me. So, my best advice is that you just dont listen to what others say. You are making the best and smartest decision possible.
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no dear ur not alone .. there are alot of ppl like u waiting till marriage too.. i think its really great that u are this way and wished i saved my first kiss till i was married too.. however i cant change the past..and i believe that some ppl attack u either out of jealousy cuz ur doing something that they wish they could have done or becuz they have no respect for other ppl's lifestyles and choices in life.. i hope this helps ..take care
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Hey im 22 an never had a girl friend..I understand that you want to only be with the one you love but kiss is a tad bit extreame i could wait a long time for my girl to be ready to let me be with her...but not to be able to kiss you.... just to be able to touch an taste her lip if only for a moment will go a long way for the right man. how long do you think a guy can really last with out ANY afficion?? you have to show him that he is your man an that you really want to be with him or he going to think your just play with him an leave......if he never gets a kiss from you how is he sopost to know you like him?
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You're just going against a lot of Euro-centric post-Millennium grain. Splinters are bound to come off. I love being loose and open, because I've always got my heart, but your way's cool if it's what you're in to. Good luck with that.
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I wanted to do that as well, but it didn't work out for me. I wish you the best of luck! I have faith in you! If you set your mind to it you can do it! & I heard about a guy on the news this year I think that saved his first kiss for his wife, so you are not alone in this! = )
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Good for you, you are your own person and don't worry about what anyone else thinks.
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ur deffinetly not alone i have a seventeen year old freind named sarah who feels the same exact way as you... you shouldnt care about what people say man, they just chew you out because ur the one strong enough to save youself like that.
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You are right by saving the first kiss for your wedding night ,beause that will be lasting experince in your life ,forget about other people opinions
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good for you, and good luck in finding the right person to marry :)
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I look up to you for these choices! In fact I wish I would of, please don't let those people change your mind! You will be well pleased with this choice when you do marry. I hope my husband will give our future daughters (if we have any) a promise ring to encourage such behavior. People think that sex is just a passing time, they don't understand it's power and importance in a marriage, it ties you physically to who ever you do it with, I think most people don't know that.
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I wish that I had had the strength to be like you. You ignore those people, because they are jealous. You give that first kiss to the man that you TRULY love with all of your heart and your whole life will reflect that.
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The reason is because they don't have the strength to resist that you do, so they think its hogwash. Stop worrying about people. Stop talking about having your first kiss, that is private information.
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i am thinking that is really sweet..if you want to wait until the day you are wed for your first kiss, that is sooooooo great.....keep us posted.....Brian......
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i wish i had done that because after i had my first kiss we could not stop and ended up having sex
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Respect for yourself is far more important than what people say or think.I will be happy married for 26 years this november.My wife and myself have been with each other and no other.Be proud of yourself,because you will be rewarded for your wise choice.
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You are setting yourself up for about a 90% failure chance of your marriage! This is not me saying this but research into Abstenance teaching. It is known now young people who do not have close association have more than double the rate of failed marriages because of unhappiness...I hope you are prepared for this. I hope you fall in that 10% range but don't count on it. You will always wonder in your marriage why didn't I do this when I was single? and you will go find out. Think about this very carefully!
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well, its your choice. so don't care wut ppl think
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honestly I think it's super cool that ur saving ur first kiss for your husband...all I can say is good luck to you...most guys are pigs and they won't bother if you're not doing anything for them...but when you do find that right one that is willing to wait then you know that he loves you and that he's gonna love you forever...
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It is your life and your choice but there are consequences. For one thing I would want to know that when we kiss there will be sparks. suppose you wait unitl you get married and then he kisses you and you feel nothing? It does happen. you never know until you actually kis the person. I'm also wondering how long of an engagement you'd have. let's say you meet the right one and date for a year and get engaged for another year. that means the poor guy will have to wait 2 years for a simple kiss!!!! I think you are asking an awful lot from a man! I persoanlly can't imagine a man who would be willing to do that unless he has a lot of problems with sex and intimacy or is very low on testosterone.
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hey thats awesome that youre waiting til your wedding day! if they attack you, its because they are jealous (at least thats my philosophy) because they didnt have the self control in the first place.
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You're definitely not alone in that. Its not a bad thing to save yourself for who you will spend your life with. As far as people not respecting your choice, i have no idea why they wouldnt. Other than the fact that they may be jealous of you or unhappy with their own choices theyve made. Dont let them get to you though, you are your own person. and people are stupid anyway, haha.
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