When my mother insults me or purposely try to aggravate me to cause an argument, should I say something back to her or rather keep quiet and walk away? Sometimes I feel like telling her she is a bitch but I keep it in out of respect for my father.
by 
Sin Binned
ANSWERS: 8
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When you know she is doing it just to aggravate the argument, then why do you want her intentions to come true..Just listen to her and go about doing something else..Pay no heed.If you have to listen then listen and forget dont comment..Since you love your father be sure to clear things out with him when she isnt around so that she cant manipulate him...Good luck. I know its easier said than done.But we are here to help you :)
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"I would love it if you wouldn't speak to me that way."
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I've learned from many years of bickering with my mom that its best to just keep quiet and walk away.
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I don't usually entertain the concept of "sin", but if I did, disrespecting Mom would be the biggest sin of all. I'm not going to rant about mothers deserving respect; you just might consider putting that in check.
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Handle it like the mature married adult that you are. As I suggested earlier, you are really going to have to set some boundaries with this woman. Maybe you should do some research on books that teach you how to set boundaries. Walking away is always a useful technique to avoid confrontation. But given what we discussed on another conversation, and now seeing this question, you are going to have to tell her repeatedly that her insults and verbal abuse are unacceptable. It's going to take some time for this approach to have an effect. We teach others how to treat us. This is an ongoing and learned behavior she is practicing. Just because she is your mother, this doesn't give her an open door to assault you verbally. As far as being respectful to your father, I suspect she may treat him the same way, although you haven't said that. If she does, your father will probably understand why you are taking a stand. Even if he doesn't, surely he will respect what you are attempting to accomplish. He may even pick up a few ideas on how to deal with her himself.
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There is an old saying I like to remember in just such situations. Two wrongs don't make a right. Just because your mom is obnoxious and rude to you doesn't mean you have to respond in kind. Be the bigger person. You are on the right path by realizing mom does these things to aggravatew you and cause an argument. Since you know this is her intent don't be tempted to give in. I bet in time if you don't fall into her little trap she will stop doing what she does because it will no longer be fun to try and egg on someone who can't be egged on.
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I would tell her what's on your mind! If she doesn't respect you and treat you good why should you treat her good? I don't care if she is your mom, she still has to respect you! Respect is a two way thing in my eyes!
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If you aren't living with her any more, keep visits to her to a minimum and if she is rude over the phone, warn her you are going to hang up if she continues to be insulting and do it if you have to.
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