well actully i wasn't abused but last week i woke up in the middle of the night and i couldn't move! i looked around and there was something there. i couldn't really see it in detail but there was something in my room. and will you please go back to my question about asthma please? i need help.

mhmm. christian school. forcing religion down my throat. Denying me the right to my religion. Saying i will go to hell. enough said.

Here's my story. I've had a couple of lung surgeries. After my first one, some Elders from the church came to visit me. But what happened was a nightmare. They said they had come to ask me to think about whatever sins that I or my forefathers had committed that would cause this demon of lung disease. I told them to leave. I filed a complaint with my Presbytery and action was taken. Needless to say, I left that church. My complaint basically said that I thought what they said to me was judgmental, Unchristian, and biblically wrong. At a time when I needed prayer, help, hope and comfort from my church family, all I got was a raft of crap that I was somehow to blame for my illness. It never ceases to amaze me what hateful things some people will do that they claim to be "in the name of God."

Every time I've been tempted. That is a given. I also have a pretty active impostor who whispers in my ear from time to time that God could not love or accept me. It looks like me, sounds like me, and smells like me, but it isn't me. The real me is beloved and cherished. I have probably been judged by people and have been given unhealthy spiritual advice, but it is really up to me as an adult to sort through those things. I am fortunate that I was never spiritually abused as a child. My family taught me about God and did so within a healthy church where thinking was encouraged and we were surrounded by love and grace. Did any poison ever creep in? I am sure it must have, but it was offset by general health and love. We have all been exposed to toxic messages. What sets apart an abusive home or religious group from a healthy one is freedom. In the case of a healthy religious group, no matter what the message, you can always walk out without threats or fear. Some people have been abused in dysfunctional systems whether natural families or religious families. In those cases, it is really the relational dynamics that have gone awry and the religious motifs are just something that has been latched onto and adopted as a tool for maintaining the system. A dysfunctional church has most of the same dynamics and symptoms as a dysfunctional family. This abuse happens without a lot of awareness and sometimes with good motives - but not much grace.

Yes, there was a year or so of horrible abuse couched in terms of "concern", then I was told that they thought I had no relationship with God at all. It was a power play. It was horrible aat the time. I still bear the scars, but I know God will sort it out in the end. All idle words will have to be accounted for.