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by Ace of Hearts on March 16th, 2007

Ace of Hearts

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Is it okay to date/be in Love with someone considerably older? Say, 12 years older?

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Answers. 61 helpful answers below.

  • by science_geek on March 16th, 2007

    science_geek

    Love does not know age limits. As long as you are both adults there should be no problem.

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  • by ptrask on March 16th, 2007

    ptrask

    I certainly hope so, as my wife is fourteen years younger than me. I would hate to think that it is all one-sided.

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  • by RFlagg on March 16th, 2007

    RFlagg

    That depends entirely apon your definition of "Okay".

    A lot of other people may disaprove of it, but there's nothing particularly un-okay about it, just so long as the two of you are comfortable with it yourselves.
    (And so long as both of you are above legal age of consent, of course.)

    So I geuss it really comes down to one question; how much do you really care what other people think of your personal life?

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  • by Calypsol on March 16th, 2007

    Calypsol

    it depends on the age of both if one is 10 and other 22 it's not ok, but if 70 and 82 i think it's ok

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  • by unknown on March 16th, 2007

    unknown

    Sure, if no one is under age. There are problems that come along with such a large age difference; but, it's nothing that can't be worked through.

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  • by punished? on March 16th, 2007

    punished?

    if maturity matches and you are both of consent then age doesnt matter.

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  • by Rose on May 1st, 2007

    Rose

    hell yeah!!!
    i would lol i love older guys

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  • by janiestpierre on March 16th, 2007

    janiestpierre

    Of course. I am 40ish and love men between 26 and 40. If it is ok with them, definately ok with me. Sometimes the chemistry is just there, and you "click"

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  • by Skip_2_My_Lou on March 16th, 2007

    Skip_2_My_Lou

    All depends on how old the young one is. If he/she is at least of 22 years of age then I'd say it's ok. As long as both parties are in love and want to be with each other and do right by one another, then I see nothing wrong with it.

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  • by ginaorregina on May 15th, 2007

    ginaorregina

    My husband and I have been together 18 years he is 15 yrs my senior. Most of the time everything is great, but once in awhile he's a little to kicked back, or tired but I wouldn't change anything about him or us for the world so yes age is just a number,(unless someone is under 17 then theres to much chance you'll change)

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  • by Joshua_Frozen on April 13th, 2007

    Joshua_Frozen

    Of course! In love, age doesn't matter (unless your 18 and he's 110 or something like that). If you love him, why not?

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  • by Tantric on March 16th, 2007

    Tantric

    Age is only a number after, considering legal age.
    12 years apart is nothing. I know couples 20 years apart and have outstanding relationships.

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  • by Sheriff Raff -Answerhag on March 16th, 2007

    Sheriff Raff -Answerhag

    Ask Bo Derek, she had a good ride until hubby croaked and made her a widow at 40.

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  • by FreeSpirit on May 18th, 2007

    FreeSpirit

    Of course, except if you are 12 or something.

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  • by theredbaron on May 15th, 2007

    theredbaron

    My parents were 17 years apart -- my mother was 29 and father 46 when they married. They were happily married for 38 years. Suprisingly enough, my mom died at 67 and my dad, who's now 86, is still living.

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  • by oldmanuk on March 24th, 2007

    oldmanuk

    Isn,t it a case of a case of love is where the heart is

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  • by Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony on March 24th, 2007

    Andy Is Wicked Married to Penal Colony

    As long is it is legal, it's no big deal. On the other hand, I do find myself at a bit of a loss at times when I get the huh? look from my boyfriend who is 11 years older than me. And we do not share the same taste in music either :)

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  • by michelle on March 24th, 2007

    michelle

    I think it's just fine as long as no one is underage like others have said. My husband is 38 and I am 24, and I love him even though he is old. I mean older. And I'm only kidding don't take it personal I don't think 38 is old.

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  • by Bleu723 on March 24th, 2007

    Bleu723

    I've been in love with a man who is 13 years my junior but I am in my mid forties... We have now been together going on ten years. It has had it's moments early on but overall it has not been a mistake...I have learned much from him and I do not have many regrets...

    What I would caution is this - if you are a very young girl, say 16, then yes, I feel there is a problem with this. You haven't had the time to explore your own personal self or to find out what your goals and dreams are or even your beliefs or what you like or dislike - you have a whole world in front of you for you to pick and choose. You should take advantage of your dreams whatever they may be; - travel, have fun, experiment and experience the bigger picture out there and don't let this smaller window cloud your visions...

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  • by Friartuck on March 24th, 2007

    Friartuck

    Well, if you're 4 and they're 16 I'd say we're in trouble.

    Otherwise, why not? You've got just as much chance of success as the next couple.

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  • by TaoZen on March 23rd, 2007

    TaoZen

    MY DAD WAS (HE'S DEAD) 12 YEARS OLDER THAN MY MOTHER SO I ANSWER, "YES".

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  • by Stronghart on March 16th, 2007

    Stronghart

    tweve years isn't much when you are fifty and he is sixty-two. But when you are 18 and he is thirty it is a vast difference. Caution and prudence is called for. In general, men who want much younger women are insecure or want a woman who they can control. They are not looking for equal partners. Are you?

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  • by FATASS1234 on March 16th, 2007

    FATASS1234

    not if your 12

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  • by Lemonyellow Di Vintage on March 16th, 2007

    Lemonyellow Di Vintage

    You should be able to love anyone you want no matter how delusional you are.
    Do try some kind of medicine. Please.

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  • by WussiePussieHasLetHimselfOutOfTheBag on March 16th, 2007

    WussiePussieHasLetHimselfOutOfTheBag

    mentally, or physically??? ;-) of COURSE it is!!!!

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  • by Goldberry on November 7th, 2007

    Goldberry

    What is age when there is love? Don`t worry about this age difference and be happy!!!!!!!!

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  • by PT girl 08 on October 25th, 2007

    PT girl 08

    As long as you are both legal it's ok. Sometimes a large age difference is better!

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  • by asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson on September 21st, 2007

    asweetguy4u2know saya R.I.P Nelson

    So Long as you are both over 18 age is just a number. If you love the person don't let anything or anyone stand in your way of being with them. Especially something like a 12 year age gap. It's different if you are still considered a minor then I would say to you not to even bother.I was in a very loving and caring relationship for nearly 2 years with someone 15 years almost younger than me. We had lots of fun together and the age difference didn't matter to either one of us.

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  • by theamazingmaleeni on July 8th, 2007

    theamazingmaleeni

    It all depends on the chemistry between you two and obviously the actual age. 19 and 31 is a lot, but say 27-39 is a bit better.

    I've been there, done that. But it didn't work.

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  • by Redundant on May 15th, 2007

    Redundant

    There is no age limit when it comes to love. My husband of 4 years is 16 years older than me. We have known each other for 8 years prior to our marriage. I feel that there may be an issue, of course, if the the ages of the people involved were 12 and 24 ..then that is not "love" but an entirely different issue altogether!

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  • by asairel on May 15th, 2007

    asairel

    age doesn't matter as long as both are aware of their responsibilities to one another.. and of course truly love each other and will stand with them no matter how things gets tough..

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  • by Lady Alathia of Vulcan on May 15th, 2007

    Lady Alathia of Vulcan

    It works for Jason and I...

    I'm 21, he's 37. We'll be married in July.

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  • by PaigeKittles on May 15th, 2007

    PaigeKittles

    Dont ask about the age, just about the other person's charater. If you are considered a very young person, let's say under 20, then you may need to seriously think about it and evaluate the person youre with. When I was dating around, I always liked guys much older b/c I had maturity issues with guys my own age. Looking back, some of those guys I dated I would now believe to be total creeps if they were all over MY daughter acting that same way. The same can be said for any man or woman looking to date a much younger person. It's probably fine... Just use your best judgement on their character, not about their age.

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  • by garnorche on May 8th, 2007

    garnorche

    I like older woman.

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  • by scotgal on April 13th, 2007

    scotgal

    I agree with an earlier answer...if you are of mature age yourself - no, that difference is not of importance.

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  • by amanda on April 7th, 2007

    amanda

    ask your own self----are you comfortable today with it? sure you are --will you be comfortable with it down sevearal years also??

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  • by Halskiisaklink on April 7th, 2007

    Halskiisaklink

    That's up to the two people involved. I'm not about to make moral judgements for everybody - I'm no-one's God or ethic system.

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  • by Annie Girl on April 7th, 2007

    Annie Girl

    OH GOD NO, IF UNDER 18...FOR ONE THING, IT MIGHT BE ILLEGAL. FOR ANOTHER, BOTH ARE TOO IMMATURE TO EVEN KNOW WHAT LOVE IS WHEN EVEN UNDER 25 FOR MALES SO SAYS THE RECENT BRAIN RESEARCH ABOUT WHEN THE BRAIN FINALLY DEVELOPS.
    BUT:
    YES!YES!YES! If it is not AND AGE ISSUE, OR just a sexual need or attraction but a heart's love attraction, it sure is. And, the same can be said YES for OPPOSITE-GENDER couples just as for SAME-GENDER couples.
    Dating without rushing into sexual intercourse is the best path to true and unconditional love for anyone at any 'datable' age.
    My dear sister met and married a met the same age as our father. They were happily married with their 3 kids for 25 years until she, the youngest, died first...followed by him 7 years later. YES.
    In 1949, my uncle married a woman 16 years his senior...unheard of in those days...and they were together until 1991 when she died. It was a good marriage. Yes, he has married again to a woman his age and is also in a good marriage.

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  • by curious_about _you on March 29th, 2007

    curious_about _you

    Love is ageless souls are timeless any age gap as long as it is legal should be okay.

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  • by calivar on March 24th, 2007

    calivar

    if u are older then 18

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  • by EyePod on March 17th, 2007

    EyePod

    Why not?If you really want that.who can say its wrong?if anyone tells you different they are jealous or intrusive

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  • by Stronghart on March 17th, 2007

    Stronghart

    17 and 29 is a stretch unless he is very immature, in which case why would you continue the relationship? . Drop him.

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  • by missingu24 on October 25th, 2007

    missingu24

    love has no age (as long as its legal) then go for it and enjoy every last minute of it

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  • by Lady Alathia of Vulcan on January 15th, 2009

    Lady Alathia of Vulcan

    As long as it's legal, it's absolutely fine.

    My husband and I are nearly 16 years apart. I am 23, he'll be 39 in February. And most of the time, he has me on age, but I am definitely the older one.

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  • by Someone on October 11th, 2007

    Someone

    This was the question I saw when looking on Google before I joined AB. I have strong opinions on this subject, better left off. Not against you of course, but too revealing of myself.

    In any case, I wanted to drop by and say, this question has changed a lot. More people seem accepting of this sort of thing than they once where the few months ago when I first stumbled across it.

    Either way, I do believe at 17 you are capible of making wise choices on dating if you so choose. If you believe he is for you, then god dammit, go for it. Don't let anyone hold you back so long as you are legally within bounds. (Meaning I know you said no long distance, but that was a warning o those not). Depending on the state as well, that probably wouldn't be a big deal anyway. The best of luck.

    P.S. I know that it shows you haven't been on for months, but I wished to still include my own part of the thing that got me to AB.

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  • by Doggie S on October 25th, 2007

    Doggie S

    As the cliche goes, "age doesn't matter"

    And as long as both are adults who are madly in love with each other, yeah it's okay.

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  • by Anonymous on September 21st, 2007

    Anonymous

    Twelve years can be a lot or a little, it depends on who you are as a whole and your maturity level. In general, two consenting adults that are twelve years apart can definitely make it work, but there is also a lot to watch out for in such a relationship. You may be at different stages in life, and there may be some underlining reasons why somebody is specifically attracted to somebody twelve years younger or older. But in general, a twelve year difference isn't terribly uncommon and there is no reason why it can't lead to a productive and happy relationship!

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  • by oldfashioned on November 7th, 2007

    oldfashioned

    My daughter & her husband were 18 & 29 when they married 6 years ago. Maybe in some cases this would sound wrong but they are so good together, and good parents too.

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  • by -O-uknow on June 21st, 2007

    -O-uknow

    Not if she's a hot MILF ;)

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  • by BACowboy on June 21st, 2007

    BACowboy

    My wife is 13 years older than me. We have been married for over 20 years. We are still in love and have a great marriage. So what do you think?

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