Do you think I am a horrible person "IF" I sometimes feel upset towards my step-children because I want a baby of my own and I want to spend more time and have more affection from my new fiance?
by 
amanda_0517
ANSWERS: 6
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I have 3 step childran 17, 15, and 14. I have been around for 10 years and NO you are not a horrible person. It is an ok feeling. I have had 3 kids with him sence we have been together and I find myself envy of them to because I have to cook and clean and they all get to hang out together. I just keep thinking of the day they are all gone and I have him to myself it keeps me going. Hang in there amanda it will all work out :)
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Doesnt matter what I think of you. If you were not concerned about your behavior towards those kids you would not be asking a bunch of strangers to validate you. Be nice. They are kids. They didnt make this situation, why should they be the recipients to your frustrations? You bought your fince kid in tow. Thats the life you choose. Enjoy them. (My sister married a man with two kids. Its hard and your feelings are understandable)
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U shouldnt feel horrible and im sure you want your own kids,just make sure if you were goin to have your own that you would accept the others the same.Im sure the affection would come in time if you had a kid,but that shouldnt be the answer to the problem.Im sure its hard to accept that them kids were there before you and that really has to suck.When i was a kid my mom remarried and my step dad always cared and once his kids were born i kinda fell off the face of the earth and that is a big reason why me and mother dont get along now is cause of that.She pretty much had a new family and she took his side on everything.I think you should just tell him how you feel on the situation and im sure it will help out in the end.Not getting attention sucks.I totally know the feeling.
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This is a feeling you are going to have to overcome. True, the stepchildren are not yours and probably will never have the same affection as a child of your own. If you marry this person, remember, he comes with a package deal.....the children. be truthful to yourself. if you cannot honestly deal with his children, you are heading for a diastrous marriage. many people marry people with children. some can accept the ready-made family, others cannot. Also, the stepchildrens mother will always be in the picture, in some form or another. be also prepared to accept this.
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It doesn't make you a horrible person - in fact, it makes you a very normal person. Just don't take it out on the kids. Keep your feelings in check.
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I dont think your horrible, normal more like. i get that you want kids and in my opinion he sounds like he is stalling. Not being nasty but from the sounds of it he is a very controlling untrusting human being and the fact that he threatens to leave makes him sound like he isn't serious about you or your relationship, reading what you said you seem more like a p.a, he seems to be using you as a babysitter, cleaner and chef more so than a partner, next time you talk to him and he says stop going on or i will leave say "ok then, do you need me to help you pack?" then see what he says, if he leaves then he was never serious in the first place, if he is serious about you then he will have to face the conversations about marrage and babies" Either way you owe it to yourself to find out where your plans sit in both of your lifes.
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