A child should never to used to hold a relationship,cheating on someone doesnt solve anything,it just causes pain,better to leave someone than cheat on them.

he should pay child support and alimony and live his own life. he is obviously a cheater from day one.

No he is not wrong for his desires, but he shouldn't have got married either. However he did and now he needs to not hide it behind her back. She is most likely honoring their vows, and is expecting at the very least that she would be respected. If you want to go and cheat, then get a divorce and then cheat. There is no end to the lies once you start

Yes, he was wrong to get married. Marriage is a commitment between two people to love and support eachother through good times and bad. He made a mistake when he conceived an illegitimate child, and then he compounded that mistake by marrying a woman to whom he felt no commitment. If he cheats on his wife, he'll be cheating on his child, again. First he cheated his child out of the opportunity for the child's mother to marry someone who truly loved her and would be commited to her. If he cheats on his wife, he'll be adding to the long list of poor decisions he's made already. I feel sorry for his wife and for their child.

For some reason, I'm getting the vibe that you two are wanting to be the cheaters. Before he moves onto another woman, he needs to fix things with his wife. Either try to make it work, or divorce. (and provide for his child as much as he can) Only then should he be free to do what he wishes sexually with whom he wants. I personally wouldn't want a man that cheated on his wife in my life.

He's not wrong to want to cheat, but trust me...it's not worth it. He'd be better off leaving his wife and then doing what he likes. It'll be better for his own conscience, and his wife (future ex) will initially be distraught, but will have more appreciation and respect for his honesty and control in the long run.

It was wrong for him to get married in the first place, and now that he want to cheat its just gonna make things worse for the both of them. They should sit down and talk, explain to eachother that they are unhappy and settle this between the two of them in a peaceful and mature way, without getting themselves deep in the gutter. In most cases when two are unhappy, they should get divorced. Sad but true.

'He never really loved her' and yet you say in a comment thread that they were together for 10 years. How can that be? Either he DID love her or he was with her under false pretenses - I know which one I would vote for. There is no legal obligation to marry anyone because of a pregnancy, so the reason for marrying must have been some other pressure. If he chose to submit to that pressure, don't blame the woman who was pregnant - if he wanted to say 'No', all he had to do was say 'No.' Unhappy he may be, but his solution will make other people more unhappy. Better that he end the marriage honourably, or at least as honourably as he can, and then enter a new relationship so he can be 'happy' than that he live a lie and cheat behind the back of the woman he made vows to.

You have no idea what he is feeling or his motives. There is no way anyone can help you decide how he feels. You dont' know why he cheated, you don't know why he stayed with her, you don't know why he won't leave her now. But you do know that he doesn't love you enough to let her and the child go and to turn his back on her. He doesn't love himself enough to love anyone else.

adultary is wrong and should be illegal as it is a breach of contract. marrying because of a child is utter stupidity.

He has to put first things first and deal with the marriage. He then could move on. Regaurdless of his his past decisions or his reasons for making them there is a marriage, real or not.

If he wants out...then get out. Be a man.

Do you think there is a possibility that he may be lying to you? Either way, it's a smart idea to kick this one to the curb...FAST!

It's not for me to judge what anyone does as wrong, but i believe that's a cop out. A way to do what he wants while avoiding complete responsibility for his actions. He's effectively putting the responsibility of his unhappiness and his cheating on to a circumstance, a situation or his current partner. A mature minded, honest and responsible person would recognize and abide by the need to either work on his current relationship or leave it and start afresh with someone he is able to feel happy with.

just because you get some pregnant you dont have to marry them. thats turning a bad situation worse! he can still be there every day for his child with out marrying her. infact the child will be better off knowing daddy loves him/her, and cares about mummy, and thats why they are not together and arguing all the time. i would rather come from a home where my mum and dad got on well, but lived seperatly, that hated livign together!

OK, I haven't been DRed yet this morning (to my knowledge) so I need to do something FAST. . I think people toss having children and being married into the same pot when they are two separate issues. . In a marriage where there are no children I think just about anyone would agree that it is generally better to let the relationship go if it has gotten unbearable for either person. . If a person has a child just about anyone would also agree that the parent should be a large part of the child's life, giving it their love and support. . What I'm seeing is what I'd consider a blurred view in peoples minds that it is requisite that both parents are together and in a relationship (as miserable as it gets) and that is the right thing. I think a marriage can be ended and both parents can be available to their children. There is really no justification for the parents to be miserable. If one parent leaves and isn't available for their children it is wrong but I don't see it as being catastrophic if the marriage ends but both parents are available to the children. No one really needs to be miserable. The children come first. That's what needs to be concentrated on.