ANSWERS: 28
  • A child can benefit from the love of a man even if that man isn't their father. They don't even have to think he is their father. When he gets older if you want you can enroll him in big brothers big sisters. Also all your child's life people are going to tell you things somethings will be true some not. You have to follow your gut instincts.
  • Raise him however you can, man or no man. I can't see why he would blame you for anything. My father dissapeared when I was two. He knew I existed but didn't care. How is that my mother's fault? It isn't. Your son will be fine.
  • Hummm I would try and talk to him if it's not a bout money and just him needing to be there for his son. tell him that you just want him to be there..... It's so many dead beat dad as well as mothers only wanting money and not worried about the child... Try telling him that once he becomes apart then you can go futher with other things. Same token you can't make a guy be there !!!
  • dont bother with this man! i pestered my daughters father to see her when she was a baby but he only ever did every few months and then it dwindled down. shes now 6 and he has not seen her for 4 years. she does not know he exists. i have a lovely boyfriend that treats her as his own. she knows he is not her real dad, if you ask her where her daddy is she says ''i dont have one,i have a special mummy instead'' when shes older i will explain that he wasnt interested. its better to have no contact at all then having him keep letting your child down. x
  • A father figure around would benifit your son alot but that does not have to be this person who has no intrest in your son. Family and Friends can offer the same support structure children need. Make sure when you date you are not looking for someone to play daddy. Look for someone who treats you and your son right and makes you happy.
  • It's not your fault that his dad isn't interested in seeing him. He will love you because you did your very best to give him a good life. :)
  • He will not hate you. He will see that you cared enough about him, to make sure he has the best possible life. I think, it is better that the dad is not in his life, your son will find other great men, that will take over the father figure roll. I raised two boys by myself, I just interferance from my ex, he didnt want to parent, I would have rather had no dad.
  • your son is in a situation that is not unique.. there are many people around the world who are in your situation as well. although it is important for the male child to have a male in his life to identify with. but it does not necessarily need to be your significant other. you child during adolescence will probably blame you for everything.. weather it be rules or restrictions. but you need to keep in mind that you are a parent first and a friend second. what truly important is that you provide your son with all the love and attention that he needs in order to develop properly. there has not been any concrete research that states your child absolutely needs a male figure. you child will develop normally without a male. he will just look to identify with men else where. perhaps the media. "he does not need a DAD!!!!!" thats just the stereotypical western civilization talking. if he truly needed a dad, then alot of single parent families out there would be in a lot of truble. what is important is that you should not bring home random men. actually you shouldnt being home any man that will probably leave the situation. its important to be constant and loving.. that is all your child needs. i could provide you with more information and good books/articles to read.. but thats only if necessary.
  • We have a child that came into our family little more then a year a go, she has her biologicle mom, somewhat in her life and never had a father. we are now parents of this little girl. I am her mom now and she loves her daddy and even her "new sister". and for his so called "dad" it takes real man to become a father.
  • I grew up without a dad. I had a sort of close uncle for a while when i was younger. I am a girl but I think I turned out ok (17 now). I dont hate my mom because he wasn't there and honestly I wouldnt change it for the world because if I had a father my life would have been so much different and I wouldn't be myself today. I can't imagine being anyone else.
  • thats sad. really sad. i hate men like him. bring his ass to court get child support and forced visitation. if you dont want to do that - just leave it alone. the father is missing out. mabey he will realize one day ...
  • Sometimes when the child is older and less 'work' he may pay a little attention, but then again, probably not. I used to make excuses for my daughters father, then I found myself recycling the excuses. So I was honest, told that I just have no idea why he is being like that, but for her not to worry, because I loved her enough for two parents. She was perhaps 14 then, and she never asked or seemed curious again. And your son will see other dads as he grows, good ones and bad ones, and realize that no dad is better than a bad one. The prerequisite of being a good parent isn't having a penis. Tell people to mind their own business, that the two of you are a happy family and if you happen to find a man that can add something special, you'll think about it then.
  • "he needs a dad" does not mean his sperm donor must be that dad. if his father is willing sever his rights/responsibilities. find him a real dad and yourself a real partner.
  • i have a very long answer, so i hope you are prepared... i have had dad issues as long as i can remember, my dad is basically useless. the things he did and does to me and his family are to numerous to count. i haven't spoken to him in over 2 years. and honestly i am happy. what i am trying to say is, if he is going to be a lousy dad, why put the kid through that. i probably would have been a lot better off without my dad then i was with him. luckily my mom remarried, and even though they are now divorced. he still treats me like his daughter, i was very lucky to get a step-dad like him. but in the end it all comes down to whether you would want your kid to know their father or not. maybe he will meet his kid and want to be there forever, maybe he will act the same way he was before. it just depends on what you want your kid to remember his father like.
  • Coming from myself being a single mom, all you can do is try to be a better parent on your own. Trust me when I say your son doesn't care right now if he has a dad or not. So be the best parent you can be now and it will all work out in the end. Trust me your son will still love you no matter what.
  • well.. if the asshole that isn't interested is a bad person. f-him and let him not be interested.. your baby doesn't need a daddy that isn't going to be his daddy from now on..so make sure the next person he calls daddy STAYS daddy..
  • personaly i would say dont care about what people say all that matters is that you and your baby are happy and just live a good life if his dad is not a good person then you just carry on like you are now
  • my son is 6 and a half. His father has seen him once, and left him with a babysitter on that occassion. i agree he needs a dad, but not that one. He will NOT hate YOU for this. BUT,he will feel the rejection of it no matter what you do. The lastest stats show that 34% of american children have been abandoned by their father (this does NOT include men who engage in visitation, only men who disappear altogether) YOU ARE NOT ALONE IN THIS!!! The only advice I can render is dont bad mouth the father to the child; he doesnt need anymore negativity. Do what we women have always done; just the best you can!
  • Don't let any one tell you he needs a dad. You are doing a perfect job of it. You are on the right track. If the father of your child wants nothing to do with your child, then, he ain't gonna be a positive addition to his life. Define family ? You don't have to have two parents to be a family. Better a one parent functional family than a two parent disfunctional family. These people that tell you that he needs a dad, are they prepared to pick up the pieces when things don't work out with his so called father. My children have never had a father. I raised them on my own. They are now all grown up and the new man in my life is the one they call daddy! My new man wants them in his life, i did'nt have to force him to be in their life and children feel that. Your son will never hate you. The older they get, the more they will understand who really cares for them. Don't worry too far ahead. You are making it rite already, you are loving your son and enjoy every minute of it. Take care and all the best.
  • This sperm donor sounds like a real asshole. Count your blessings that he stays away from you and your son. Your son will need a father figure and that can be your dad, your brother or a new boyfriend you meet up with. Forget the loser and be happy he isn't making your life a living nightmare.
  • Always be honest with your kids on a level that they can process and understand.
  • My daughter is nine years old. She’s never had a father in her life. It hasn’t had any effect on her. She’s an outgoing, well-rounded child. She used to feel bad that he wasn’t around, but he spent about a month stuck at my house a few years ago and she hasn’t had any interest in him at all since then. (In point of fact, she started asking when he would be getting out of her home less than a day after he got there!) My advice: NEVER say anything bad about the baby’s father. Children see that as a reflection on them. Don’t worry about him not being around. He was a gene donor, not a daddy. You can’t make him become something he isn’t capable of being. You have a long and hard road ahead of you, especially if you’re still single, but try not to pay those other people any attention. That child will only blame you for his not having a father if you blame yourself for it. Plenty of children grow up without one and turn out just fine.
  • My dad walked out on my sister and I when I was two and I never saw him, don't worry you might meet Mr Right or even fill both sets of shoes, life goes on.
  • You raise yoru child the best way you can. That is all you can do because you can not control other peoples actions. being a single parent takes extra work, but you can be very successful at it if you commit. Your son mayy grow up with some feelings of neglect due to the father not being here, he may even blame you for it, but he will get past it as he matures. Honestly, it is no different from the emotional stress that children of divorce go through.
  • Don't worry about. the sperm donor sounds like a bad person. raise him the way you want and explain it to him when he asks when hes older. And the sperm donor does not have to be the dad. Any man you love and want to be with can be dad.
  • dont bother with him ignore what ppl say. were in the same boat my sons 18months his dad has sin him 3 times last time he sin him was when he was 6months old. n im better off. if he doesnt want to know then thats up to him, the question is do you really want sum1 like him in your childs life????? if no then your better off n ppl may not no how you/him feel about this and ppl keep saying child needs a dad isnt in the same situation n cant say anything cos they JUST DONT KNOW trust your instincts .... you love your son, your there when hes happy sad teething bathing you dont need that sperm donour........you'll find sum1 better for the role of 'dad' sum1 who is interested..
  • you or ur son dont need any1 hunni trust me. you just concerntrate on being a gr8 mum and providing for your little man. i was beat up and put in hospital whilst i was pregnant by my babies dad after this i locked my self in my house until he was born. when i turnt 15 i new i had to wot was best for him.. so i left my house went back 2 school then college,work ect, and gave him everything i possibly could. he is 8 now and never asks about him.he is content and happy. we have a fantastic relationship hes like my mini double, i think babe its us that worry more about those kinds ov things, as long as he has you he will b just fine. if i could do it at 14 im pretty sure any1 can.xxx good luck, b strong and enjoy having him all to yourself
  • i have a 14month old baby. i know exactly how you feel cause the same has happen to me i'm also worried what my baby girl will say to me one day will she hate me. every child needs a dad but i'm so scared i will meet someone and he will abuse my child sexuel or treat her wrong she is such a lovely baby girl i rather be single then have to put my baby throw hell. we just have to be there for are children give them lots of love and let them know they did nothing wrong

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