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  • longer more relaxed fore play should help.
  • You never make love TO that person. You make love WITH that person. For the sake of the younger folks who read these answers, I won't get very graphic. I'm sure you can use your imagination. I AM A VERY fortunate man. I had the wonderful experience of seeing my parents, both sets of grandparents and all my aunts and uncles behave as though they were constantly on their honeymoons with their spouses. They would hold hands, hug, kiss, whisper things to each other, say, "I love you, _____!" and carry-on like many young people, who are in love, do in public. They would smile at each other and tell each other how beautiful, wonderful and thoughtful she was and how thoughtful, wonderful and handsome he was! WOW! What a great set of romance role models! No, I never watched as they were making love in the most intimate way, but I DID see and learn from their examples and inter-actions with their spouses! As far as I know, no one ever cheated on the other. That being said, one day my mother's father got in the car with me. I was driving him to the track. He "LOVED those ponies"! He was well-aware of the relationship I had with the lady I was dating and who would one day be my bride. He said words similar to these: I know your father told you what to do, but did he ever tell you how to do it? I answered, "No". He went on to say, "I'm going to tell you some things I don't think you'll learn from any one else. When you have sex, make love or whatever you want to call it, you don't behave like most other men. Most men are just interested in one thing and one thing only - satisfying their own selfish selves. That's NOT the way to do it. You have to make absolutely certain she is satisfied. No matter how long it takes or what you have to do, you have to do whatever it takes to make sure she does what she likes to do best. You HAVE TO satisfy her first. Your brain is the most important sex organ. Your brain controls what happens downstairs. When you aren't sure about what to do or how to do it, ask her what she wants you to do. She'll tell you or she'll show you. When you're making love, you think of other things - not what's going on at that particular moment with that particular lady. When you think about what you're actually doing, I guarantee you'll never satisfy the lady in your life. He went on to explain about holding hands, hugging, kissing, caressing and taking things one step at a time. He described a lot of things I heard of but wasn't sure about. During that ride, one of the last things he said was: When you are absolutely sure she is satisfied, then you can do what you know is best for you - but not one minute before. That's what I was told. Thank you, Gran'pop. I love you. I miss you! Some afterthoughts: You could also buy a book, on-line, called "Kama Sutra." You could also go on-line and make the investment in some "adult sex toys" to stimulate and arouse. There are LOTS of sites. Thanks for asking your Q! I enjoyed answering it! VTY, Ron Berue Yes, that is my real last name! Sources: My wonderful family! "THE University of Hard Knocks" also known as ("a/k/a") "life's valuable lessons"
  • I thought I answered this question a couple of months ago but seems my answer has been deleted. Sounds like you just require more time to get there. Or perhaps a steadier slower rhythm from your partner. Many of us take pretty long to orgasm esp at the start of lovemaking - 20 minutes, 30, even 40. More foreplay before intercourse can help. Also making sure you are very comfortable and feel good about everything - sometimes we feel self-conscious or that we somehow don't deserve to feel good so we sabotage our own pleasure. Or we lose our focus upon what we are feeling. It is good to just let your mind run wild with your fantasies whatever they are during but some women feel embarrassed to do that because they are afraid they are being untrue if they involve fantasizing about another or other men. Perhaps there are other things you are worried about consciously or subconsciously - you just need to put them all aside and enjoy. Now if it is true, as you write, that you only have trouble "every once in awhile" I would not be at all concerned. Might be the time to make it about him - his pleasure - and enjoy his pleasure in you! This is a more brief answer than my original one but I think it hits the primary points.

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