....continued.... She always calls this Chinese guy (From same home City) and when i check her phone i see that she calls me first during the day/evening (Likely to be checking where i am) then immediately after calls him!! Just now we were together at home late at night (00:40) and he called her again. She replied "no, i'm not going" then cancelled the call. Then she pleaded with me to let her go to have late dinner with him!!! I was outraged but later agreed if i could join them, but she refused!She always says i invade her privacy but i never do this with any other girls. I've been honest from day 1 and will continue to be this way. We've been together for 2 years with the first year being perfect and the second year going down hill. During the first year we had a very healthy and happy relationship but during the last 6 months she seems to of changed so much. Previously she was almost forcing me to have sex 2-3 times a day which i found rather excessive (seriously) but during the last 6 months she finds every excuse in the book which normally leads to an argument. I have met her parents several times and have a great relationship with them and i also love her very much. What i can't understand is: If she has been cheating me with another or other guys then why has she not broke up with me???? I really look forward to your comments. Thanks in advance...Gregory

Hi! I just saw your post and hope it is not too late.. I don't think she is really cheating on you but seems you two should find a time and sit down and - talk! I am a Chinese girl and I have an indian bf in London. We had a lot of trouble in our relationship before. He got very insecure when i received emails/chat with my ex-bf and we even fought over this. But later on I found his love means too much to me and I simply do not want to make him sad - so I removed my ex-bf from facebook/msn etc/... Sometimes I confess it is very difficult to live my bf because he does not completely understand what is really going on in my mind (worries etc..) but later we both agreed with sitting down and talk things through.. Just one suggest: don't keep your feelings and worries to yourself and don't get angry on your girlfriend either. You can ask her many questions -- i think most Chinese girls like keeping things in their mind but if you ask her and show your caring, she will be more than happy to share her opinion with you.

Greg, man. I'm not saying for sure, but from what you're telling me, it does sound as if she is being very shady and dishonest in your relationship. I have a girlfriend who lives in GZ, and I do business in Beijing and Shanghai from time to time, but have found her to be very very faithful, she even insists on finding a way to go on business trips with me. I don't want to make you feel hurt, but I think there is a good chance she is cheating on you. The downhill relationship, the shady, and overly-defensive responses... they all point to signs of cheating. My guess is... Chinese girls are very reserved; she doesn't have the heart to tell you she is cheating, and she doesn't want to be the one to break up with you, or be the cause of your breakup. I'm not saying that you have to breakup with her, but... I think you are going to have to be the one to end the relationship if you truly believe, or even find out for sure that she is cheating on you. I feel sorry for you, Greg. Best wishes, and keep in touch.

she's probably cheating on you.(or will soon) If she honestly cares about you and your relationship then she will understand and respect the fact that you are not happy with her talking to this guy. You basically need to give her an ultimatum, either she stops talking to him, breaks off all connections, or you're gone. otherwise you will just keep being jerked around and getting your emotions messed with. In situations like this you have to go with your gut instinct, most of the time it is right (unless you are a paranoid loony. Very suspicious with the phone calls and then the dinner thing. I would say get out now while the getting is good. She probably doesnt want to break up for a number of reasons, first being maybe selfishness, or it could come down to the fact that she just doesnt know what she wants. Unfortunately I have learned that some of the chinese girls i dated in the past had serious commitment issues, but then again they were spoiled rotten by their parents. (completely selfish etc..) And pretty much did whatever they wanted. btw.. do you speak chinese?

Hey I am in the same boat as you sort of. I am an American and I recently caught my fiance chatting with some other foreign guy on QQ right in next to me in a internet cafe. The dude said she was cute and asked how come she didn't call. We were about to get married so I think I had every right to read her messages. She was just laughed and said it was nothing, some old contact from before we even met. However, we were going out for 5 months so I found it odd that this guy would say something like, "how come I can't call you when you're on the road or at a cafe?" Needless to say I was irate, but somehow I just forgot about the whole incident after a day since her birthday arrived and I didn't want to come off as a control freak. Another strange thing is that soon afterward I saw her completely flushing out all her old emails. Now, I am studying computer science and I could have easily phished for her email password and saw what was really going on but I since our relationship got very serious in the past month I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt that we are basically starting a new life together so the past is irrelevant. I don't want to invade my partner's privacy.

Hi, Greg! Is it a coincidence? I've heard about a guy named Gregory who worked at Dawanglu SOHO in 2008. In Summer 2008 I heard he lost his job and broke up with his gf. Is that you?

Man, I'm sorry to hear your story. Your girl sounds very attractive, but it sounds like she's mostly gone by now. She's looking for thrills and romance. She had all of that with you and now she has it with someone else. She's not ready to settle down, to have a real long-term relationship. She wants excitement and adventure, and (in her view anyway) she can't get that with a steady even-tempered guy who has a great relationship with her parents! I speak from decades of experience in this kind of situation, and I'll tell you the ONLY thing that has ever worked (and even this can fail, so no promises here). Just leave her. Tell her you're up for a deeper relationship, a deeper commitment, and you can see that she is not ready for that. Then leave. If you live together, move out. If she begs and tells you she'll change, believe me, she won't. Leave anyway. Tell her you'll be in touch with her later on. Don't accept calls from her except to just be polite, but tell her you won't talk with her for a few months. After a few months, she will have had a chance to come to terms with this issue. She may have gotten in touch with deeper feelings. Give her another chance at that point, if she's still interested. It's your best chance. Good luck!