ANSWERS: 38
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when I pee in the yard cause i dont feel like going in the house...when i plug a hole in a window with a pizza box...when i decide whether or not something is safe to eat based on color change...etc.
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When you have a never-ending yard sale. When bringing your loved one a boquet of flowers involves watching both sides of the road. When your bonus check is taking off the beer cans. When you want a glass of milk, you have to go to the barn. When finding a working battery involves lifting several dozen hoods. When taking a car to the shop requires finding a good sturdy tree limb. If you want eggs for breakfast, you have to go gather them. When possums and pole cats all the time are trying to take up residence under your house. When wrens build nests in your coat pockets. When you can never figure out what your neighbors are burning by the strange ways the smoke smells. When you find out just how useful a clothes hanger, Prince Albert can and bailing wire really is. When you often look behind you, when you leave the house, to make sure nothing fell off. When you often look behind you, EVEN WALKING, to make sure nothing fell off.
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If the police have ever been called on your Bible Study Group (to be fair there were less than a dozen and they only had to come back once)
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If you have to ask... you are.
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When you write "u" instead of "you" and "your a" instead of "you are".....those are redneck traits....
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You live in Texas, you constantly have dip in your bottom lip, wear cowboy boots, and have a tight ass that nicely fills out your Wrangler jeans.
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when you ask the question "how do you know you're a redneck" and writew "your" instead of "you're"
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You think Dale Earnhardt is a God and have a shrine dedicated to him in your bedroom or pretty much anywhere else in your house.
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You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night.
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You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
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1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree. 2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter. 3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years. 4. You burn your yard rather than mow it. 5. You think "The Nutcracker" is something you do off the high dive. 6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture. 7. You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it. 8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial. 9. You come back from the dump with more than you took. 10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
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Rotate the appliances on you porch so people think you got new ones.
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mowing the yard you find a car.
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Have a red neck.
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Walk your kid to school because you're in the same grade! Get your hair caught in the ceiling fan.
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Shop at your own garage sale.
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marry your sister
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Someone asks for you i.d., and you show them your belt buckle.
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have a home-made belt to carry your cans of Bud Light . . . .
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buy your daughter a "Mommy and Me" Barbie.
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you have more cars in your yard than tools to fix them. When you go hunting and your dog watches as you flush out the birds. you have to climb under your trailer evy year in the winter to thaw the pipes because you forgot to plug them in. You pour bleach on your clothes so as tye dye them
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— Your standard of living improves when you go camping. â— Your prenuptial agreement mentions chickens. â— You have jacked up your home to look for a dog. â— Your neighbor has ever asked to borrow a quart of beer. â— There is a belch on your answering machine greeting. â— You let your 12-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids.
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You can tell when you're a Redneck when you walk with your son to school because you're in the same grade.
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You know you are a redneck when you drive a red S10, drink Budlite, and like Bluegrass music. That's the truth. A man from England told me. +3
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sister wife is a pretty good indicator.
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....
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You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
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If they hear themselves frequently mentioned by JEFF FOXWORTHY.
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If you outdoor funiture used to be your inside furniture.
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Lots of people consider "redneck" as a dumb, white trailor trash person. Well I am a redneck and it isn't a bad word in my world. . NUNYA is a redneck girl!! And proud to be so! Just listen to my song! . +5
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+4 when you hate having to get dressed up to go to WallMart.
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Woo-hoo! I've lived in trailers, worked on farms but when you start wearing camo, then its serious!
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When the trip to the dentist is actually a trip to Bubba's house with a good supply of pliers and Wild Turkey..............
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the moment i knew i m a man in the street..still a lot need to learn..
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when you're truck or car has more mud on it than the dirt road you live on
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when you cousin is also your wife.
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You get called and damn redneck even in North Idaho. Something about me wearing my boots jeans shirt and camo hat driving down the road with my dodge in my truck listening to my country music. Harassing all them Californians in their BMWs that are only here in the summer.
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when you have no spare in your car cuz you used it for your house. Also when you forgot to pay the water bill so you pee in a fan to shower.
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