This very nice black guy asked me out. Considering I just got majorly screwed over, I don't plan on dating for a long time. I told him that but he still thinks it's because I'm afraid of black men. How do I get it through his head that I'm not a racist?
by 
Little big mouth
ANSWERS: 26
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Lisa, I don't like him already. If he can make such a bold statement to tell you that "you are afraid of black men", you need to stick to your guns and not get involved with this guy. Hurricane Chuck did enough damage. You don't need to go from the frying pan into the fire. You don't owe anyone any explanations.
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Its best to show him what you mean. I would make a circle with your thumb and fore-finger and then try and push a Marrow through it ... He'll soon get the message.
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you don't have to try and convince him in any way Lisa ...you have already told him the real reason and if he can not accept it then stiff!!...let him think what he wants to , the more you try to convince him the more he will think your trying to cover something up
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drawing from past experience, i'd say he wont get it, as long as you continue talking with him. he will keep it up, till you go out with him to prove it. i'm sure he's nice and all, but it maybe a little bit of a game
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Sounds like guys who ask out a lesbian, and then claim we must hate men when we turn them down. You told him the truth, if he can't deal with it...that's his problem.
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You don't have to prove anything, the burden of proof will be on him. Don't have him make you feel guilty by HIM playing the race card victim. It's plain and simple that you are not interested at this time.
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Why bother trying? If he keeps pestering and you have been polite about it try something along the lines of "for godsake, will you sod off and stop pestering me".
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Don't be overly concerned about turning him down and being thought to be a racist. More than likely, he's been turned down by an African American lady a time or two as well.
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If you told him the truth and he can't accept it, it's his fault. Not yours. Let it go.
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I would not bother. It is a head game
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Don't worry about him.
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Ah you have the "white guilt". Overcompensating because you are trying not to look racist. The whole thing about equality is that you treat everyone the same. If you don't want to be with him then tell him you don't. If he says its because he is black tell him that is not the case and leave it at that. Don't try to convince him any more than you would any guy. The more and more you try to defend yourself the more you look like you are guilty.
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It doesn't MATTER if you're afraid of black men or not. You don't need his approval to not date him. You don't have to explain anything. If you already explaine and he thinks you're a racist anyway that's his fault. It's only a gossip hazzard.
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Who cares? If he thinks you're just making up excuses then whatever. It doesn't even matter, because you aren't planning on making him a part of your life. Just let it go.
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You don't have to prove anything to him. Obviously he has a problem with who he is. This should be a warning to you to keep him at a distance. If he doesn't feel comfortable with who he is, neither will you.
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tell him to leave you alone, clearly he is after something not good, or he would respect you keeping at a distance for a while.
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oh dear...that's just a sales tactic. He is attempting to guilt you into a date. Don't fall for it if you aren't ready. This is pure manipulation.
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You shouldn't be with someone that insecure or defensive.
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It's not your job. If this issue weren't involved you would have moved on and not felt responsible to be hung up on anything. Do it! FLEE! Perhaps this guy is just using this issue to maintain a conversation with you. Signed: a black chick.
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Just do him.
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Pretty bad when a guy pulls "the race card" to get a date! GEEZE! Nice or not, he's trying to control the situation. You've told him the truth, and he doesn't want to accept it. Since that's the case, tell him something like, "Look, I don't CARE if you're black or not. I told you the reason I don't want to go out for a time, and you won't believe it. Would you rather I lie and say 'I'm doing my hair every night for the next few months'? Come on... You know better. Now leave it at that." If you're at work and he still won't take no, tell him your next stop is HR for harrassment. Be sure to tell some friends around there, because you want to know if he starts spreading any rumors about you. If he does, go the HR. If you're NOT at work, but at school, tell the teacher/prof or security. DO NOT go out with him to prove you're not racist. That's like a guy thinking your a lesbian because you won't go out or to bed with him. GEEZE! Pathetic. Good luck. ;-)
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PS he is not nice
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If he thinks youre a racist thats his problem not yours. He needs to listen to you when you speak and not assume.
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"If you don't go out with me you're a racist." . What girl can resist the the double charm of an insult and a clumsy attempt to extort her into a date?
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show him homemade sex tapes of you and a gang of black guys. That'll show 'em you are not racist and what he missed out on for trying to manipulate you.
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just tell him youre not racist
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