ANSWERS: 29
  • I just wouldn't get an online boyfriend or girlfriend. I'd never consider someone I met online my s/o to begin with.
  • I wouldn't be able to trust you and without trust there is no relationship.
  • No I woudl not, not becuase I'm shallow about appearances, but because the person is obviously 1) a liar, and 2) lacking in self confidence - In my experience, those two things make for a bad relationship down the raod. if you are a grown adult, you shouldn't need to fake someone out. you should stand on your own merits, be happy with that and let the other person decide for themselves if you are the kind of person they like.
  • If there was only a little difference between the real life and the on line depiction, I would not consider that to be a big problem. If it is a big difference, I would then question the validity of a lot of the other information received from this person. I would cool it and look for someone who is more honest.
  • I agree with others here. Looks don't faze me a bit. But it would be more an issue about being lied to. If someone goes as far as to give the worng impression as looks.. Which in time can be verified. What other things did they say or lie about to make themselves look better? So, no I wouldn't continue the relationship.
  • I've never been "lied" to about it, but I do feel that people misrepresent themselves or take liberties to make themselves appear more attractive than they are in real life. Last summer I dated a girl that I met on a personals site, she was cute but all the photos were only from the neck up. When I met her in person, she was like, morbidly obese. I'm not a shallow person, but I just couldn't find myself being attracted to her physically. I gave it a chance, but after 2 dates, I just let things fizzle out.
  • I don't mind if people don't have perfect looks..I do care if people lie to me.
  • Well, I met my husband online..and he didn't lie about what he looked like..there are a few reasons why he didn't..one, hes not a liar and two..I wouldn't give anyone a chance to lie to me. If someone is acting shady about showing me what they look like..or sending photos that are obviously not real photos then i wouldn't meet them..i sent real photos of myself..including all my imperfections..and i expected the same in return. I think that if a person meets someone online and finds that in person they are not who they said they were..they should really take a look at themselves and wonder if maybe they shouldn't be a little more aware of the red flags that are present when a person isnt being up front.
  • Probably not me. But if they could give an excellent explanation as to why they had lied about their appearance, then I might continue the relationship.
  • I wouldn't, simply because she lied. I don't care if she actually looks better than what she described, you can't start a relationship without trust.
  • OMG not me. Seriously. I'm not that nice
  • Me. If they lie about that, they'll lie about anything.
  • If we're all wholly equal parts of something larger than each of us individually, it doesn't seem to be a logical possibility to discontinue any relationship. The short answer then is "yes, of course." So, the next question might be, how do I interact with this idea, this apparent deception? I would elect to see the seeming deceiver as innocent, perhaps in desperate need of love and of attention; I would not hold them in contempt as that would only cloud my thinking. How this might translate then into actual behavior is simple: I'd finish my coffee then go home. Key: Don't make them evil or weird for that apparent behavior simply because you have live with yourself after you depart from them. Who wants to live in angry and bitter thoughts? Let it go. Simply see them as innocent and continue with your day - with or without them...
  • i will be a liar if il say that looks doesnt really matter for me but i am not really into it as long as that person is presentable it would be fine. if he lied about what he looks like then i might give him a chance to explain.. and give it a shot and if things doesn't went like the way when we are still "stranger" then its time to let go.
  • I think that would depend a lot on the nature of the lying. It's one thing to play up your good qualities and understate your bad ones, maybe use a slightly older photo that looks a little better. It's another to be using someone else's photo altogether or telling outright lies about your appearance. So if they'd tried to seem somewhat more attractive than they actually were and I otherwise liked the person, I would probably continue the relationship. If not, I wouldn't.
  • To be honest Zack, I havent "technically" been in that sort of situation so I suppose I really havent a clue as to what my initial reaction would be, and what might ensue. I have met people off the internet before though, but it was merely for friendship or the fact that we had mutual friends. Rather mundane & casual.
  • It's the internet, where the men are men, the women are men, and the children are FBI agents. I know it's not true most of the times, but it's a great quote and I don't get many chances to use it. As far as your question goes, it depends on how badly they lied. If they went from 5'10" blonde girl to 4'10" red head, then yea that would throw up some red flags. But I think many people tell little white lies about their appearances: be it an angled head shot that makes them look slimmer, makeup to hide imperfections, push-up bras to make things look...bigger, a sock in the underpants... It just depends if it's a lie or a stretch of the truth.
  • I don't know if I understand the concept of online b/f. I don't think I'd ever have one, so I don't think this applies to me.
  • I don't know personally, but I know a woman that lied and then showed up at the man's work. He was pretty freaked out, to say the least. She was using a photo of when she was 17 and fairly thin. She is actually 29 and very large.
  • The looks factor would not bother me as such. The lie factor would bother me a whole lot and I wouldn't feel confident in trusting and believing in anything else the person had said or would say to me. I would not continue a relationship with anyone I could not trust.
  • Lying~doesn't fly w/me!Sorry if this happened to you Zack!
  • A lie is no basis to begin the relationship. It's a shame that appearances matter so much as its whats in side that counts. Many people dont see past that (if im honest myself included, where an intimate relationship is concerned) Bearing this in mind I can understand why somebody may feel the need to lie. If the appearance is not a problem to the other party then it must be clear that lies cannot be part of a potential future relationship. I hope this question in your case is a " just supposing one" x
  • i couldn't care less about appearance, so yep, i certainly would :)
  • I probably wouldn't continue the relationship. I hate lies with a passion. I even hate white lies. I think they are disgusting. If I can't trust someone with the little things, how can I trust him with the big things? Besides that, I am not shallow. If I even got into a relationship with someone in the first place, he would know that. If he still felt the need to lie to me, I might feel like he was trying to impress me. That's not cool at all in my books. If he isn't sure what I'll think of his appearance, he should either tell me what he really looks like or not tell me at all. That way, he wouldn't even have to lie.
  • well if it was somyhing lik there hai i would not mind but if it is somthing mager i would not talk to them ever again becouse i would not know what else they would be lying about
  • i would continue if i was attracted to him. because everyone lies about their appearence. no? to be honest, i probably would have lied a bit too... maybe i would have said i was a bit taller... lol
  • That happened to me earlier this year, actually, and we talked about it. I asked him why he had used old pictures, and he said it was because he liked the way he had looked in the older ones better - and when I pointed out that eventually anyone meeting up with him would see his current appearance, he kind of brushed it off as "Oh, everyone does that" (except not everyone does). It didn't work out, for other reasons, but that definitely put a snag in my mind when it came to regarding him as honest and trustworthy. Ironically, he just wasn't a good-looking guy, in the old pictures or IRL :/
  • First of all, I would never meet any females in person unless I have seen a picture of them first. And if I do end up meeting females and they look nothing like the picture they showed me (and just as long as they aren't morbidly obese and/or really homely looking), I suppose I would still give them a chance although there would be some major trust issues to work through...

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