At what age do you give the kids all the privacy they need? All the freedom they want? Let them stay out till whenever? Dont interfere with their personal issues? 10? 13? 16? 18?
by 
RubyReds
ANSWERS: 27
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Age 16
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LOL ... As long as they live under MY roof ... I might back off of some of their personal issues at 16 - 18; BUT as long as they are a MINOR ; everything they do will be my concern... However; they WILL be in by midnight as there is NOTHING but trouble on the streets after 12:00AM .... +5
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It depends on the kids I suppose. Different kids have different levels of maturity, and different personalities. I think that once they move out, however, then parents MUST give them all the privacy they want, and cease interfering with their personal issues. While the kids are living at home though, the parents have every right to set a curfew, and such things.
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When they move out. They should be given reasonable rights to do stuff though depending on their age.
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Kids don't "need" privacy - they need to learn maturity and responsibility. Privacy, or autonomy is the reward of self sufficiency, so any child who has not become independant of their parents is in my opinion still subject to them - at any age. +5
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I think it depends on the maturity level of the kid. 18, however is the bench mark age to let them play outside after 10:00.
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When they're old enough to post their own bail and hire their own attorney.
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...the day they are LEGALLY able to "wear my DOORKNOB PRINT"--on their behind!!!
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It's a gradual thing - as they grow up and show maturity you have to show recognition and start to back off. My son is now at Uni - while he is away I don't ask any questions but when he comes home for holidays I want to know when to expect him in; so if he doesn't show up I know to worry about him. My daughter is living back at home with us, with her boyfriend, they are saving for a deposit on a house - I hope I can give them enough privacy but the same "will you be in" rules apply. It is a fine line between interference and caring - I hope they understand why we want to know when they will be home and appreciate why we do it.
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When there mature and responsible enough. It all depends on that.
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This privacy is a privledge they need to earn. If they backslide it should be removed. This is not something they are entitled to. You are the parent and you are setting up much needed boundaries for them. If they are responsible at 10 then at 13 they get a little more freedom but just because they turn a certain age does not make freedom a given. Look at the horror stories on the news these days committed by children who have freedom. It's sickening and should never happen.
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I have to say something. I am 21 and this may sound strange but bear with me. When I turned 10 I thought I was the thing because I hit double digits so I wanted a lock for my diary. When I turned 13 I wanted a lock on my bedroom door. When I turned 15 I wanted to be able to go to the movies alone. When I was 17 I wanted to be treated like and adult already. When I turned 18 I wanted independence without having to pay anything. Now, I am not much older than that..im 21 like I said but I can tell you one thing. Looking back, my mom knew everything whether I knew she did or not. She pried and got in my business more than I ever wanted, she went on a double date with me and my first date. She had a spare key to my room. She let me get a job and had me pay little things. I now have to pay alot more things, and I realize how wonderful she is. As much as I complained about wanting privacy I am so thankful that my mom cared and still cares enough to butt into my life because when I need her the most she is there without me even having to say anything. She is my best friend and honestly... I hope she never stops.
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My mom gave me too much freedom. I feel like her laid back attitude caused me to take advantage. At 14 years I was already smoking weed and having sex. I think she was trying to let me be my own person, but unbeknownst to her it left me with no guidance or boundaries. Privacy should be invaded in a way that keeps someone safe until they are hard working adults.
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18 or when they move out and start paying there own bills.
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When they start payin thier own bills.
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For my daughter, at 18 when she graduated high school.
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at a minimum 17 but really it is when they are ready
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at age of 12. we think in this age kids dont understand about life and future but i bet they can.
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All the freedom they want? All the privacy they need? These are two different concepts. The level of privacy a child needs varies by their age - a 6 year old needs privacy to go to the toilet uninterrupted, to develop their own friendships and thoughts. But, in a family, do any of us ever have all the freedom we want? Do you give your partner all the freedom they want? Or do you talk certain things through? The same is the case with a child - they are part of a family, and must respect the views of other family members when deciding on the appropriateness of different freedoms. As for staying out til whenever - do you get to stay out til whenever? Does your spouse? Why or why not? If you have to make certain provisions before staying out late, why should your child, at whatever age, be able to do what they want? Are they not part of the same family?
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After I die. You will always be involed in your kids lives.
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At 35 my parents still interfere with my personal issues and push the envelope in regards to privacy (no, I do not still live with them :) ) ! As irritating as it can sometimes be, I know their motives are good and am sure they are not the only parents that are (or at least try to be) overly involved in their adult children's lives. That aside, I think allowing more freedom and responsibility is very dependent on a number of factors - history of success/failure in handling whatever freedom and responsibility has been given, level of trust thus far, their tendency to use good judgment or bad, any history of questionable behaviour. I would also consider how they normally respond when mistakes are made - do they acknowledge, understand, and accept responsibility for the mistake or deny, defend, and get angry? Do they learn from it or just repeat it over and over. I don't agree with parents going overboard on control and feel they should allow freedom and responsibility as it is earned & deserved, but think ultimately the "when you're under my roof" is true, regardless of age.
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When they move out and pay their own way....pretty much! Our son is 22 (as of Oct) he lives at home, does chores, works full time and contributes to the food, and bills (we don't have a mortgage...paid off). He also pays his own personal bills and also takes us out to eat on occasion, his idea. For the most part we do not interfere with his life or his choices...unless we believe he is about to make a major flubber of a choice, and then we voice our opinion. He knows he has the right to say NO, or disagree, but more often will defer to our experience on most things. Likewise, if the amount he has contributed to our household expenses has been really low of a time, one of us will hand him a list for grocery shopping...he is sometimes likely to buy more preprepared foods and WE don't do that...WE cook from raw foods! So, he gets a better list to go shop for on occasion. If he is tired of washing dishes...he can COOK...the COOK in our house does not do dishes. We are lucky, he has no interest in drugs, does not drink to excess (one beer, one drink...he has no interest in being drunk or throwing up either...lol)
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I think at the age of 18 kids are entitled to their own privacy and freedom since they are of legal age to be considered an adult. However, if they do live under their parent's roof that does not mean that they are not required to follow the rules that their parents enforce. I say it is only fair to abide in their rules if they seem reasonable. After all, parents do have the right to make the rules and enforce them in a household but children do not really owe them as much as some people think. Parents have children for a reason and therefore they must take care of those children. Its not a chore its an obligation. So I don't like to say that children owe their parents I'd just like to say that children/teens have to realize that in some way they must contribute to the family. Therefore the age at which parents stop interfering is dependent on several variables. Such as where they live, if they are above 18, and if their family is struggling.
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When they move out. :)
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Well I am 23. I still live at home going to college full time. I always had privacy, my room is my personal space. That is how my mom always treated that. Freedom..I didn't get rid of curfew until I was 20, and I was in college didn't really make sense. But kept me out of a lot of trouble that way.As far as personal issues well eighteen should be fine. Technically an adult and therefore should be treated like one. But I think it just varies with each individual some. Some children are just more responsible than others and some well probably shouldn't have any privacy at all. +4
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The better you raise them the sooner you can do it.
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As long as they live in your house they should follow your rules. But if they began working and contribute to the house and other family funds then they should have the same freedom as you. LOL I had it the opposite way when I was growing up, my parents let me have all the freedom, I could go out and come back whenever I wanted the problem was I never wanted to go out I stayed home and played my video games lol. when I got punished I would be forced to go outside and play hehe.
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