Life is so bad at the moment. Here i am a useless husband , a useless father, no job no money.. all i seem to do is let my family down and myself.. where is the end? in fact where is the beginning.. god i need help.. BIG TIME>. any serious advice?
by 
irishbhoy
ANSWERS: 9
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Don't be too hard on yourself. It sounds like you've reached rock bottom so the good news is, it can't get any worse, only better! Firstly you need to change the way you think. Many people in the current climate have lost their jobs, it's never personal, companies are having to make cut backs and ultimately DO let go of the wrong people which is awful, unfortunately you have become one of the statistics. You WILL find work, it may take some time but you'll get there, instead of focussing on the bad, try to make some good come of it. You feel like a failure of a father (which I am sure you are not) try to spend some time with the kids, take them to the park or the beach, or even for a walk in the woods, all of which are free. Spend some quality time together as a family and make use of this bad situation. Things will improve just try not to dwell on what you can't change, the last thing you need is any more stress.
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Yes. Stop putting yourself down. You're only digging a deeper hole. Beating yourself up is only going to make you feel worse and is in no way productive to solving your problems.
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I know what you mean. I'm in exactly the same boat. Just keep trying. Eventually SOMETHING has to break! Hopefully it won't be us!
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Agree with yourself to do 5 positive things a day (or ten, however many you choose)..... Help with the housework. Cook if you can. Wash dishes and do laundry for everyone in your home. Vacuum. Clean out cupboards. Doing these things will get you going a bit, for a start. ..... Say nice and positive things, to your wife and kids especially. Be truthful and nice at the same time. ..... If you believe in God, go to a church and ask if you can pray with the pastor..... Go to the library and read the newspapers to see if you can find any kind of work in the classified ads. (This is really difficult in this economy, so don't expect too much) Best serious advice of all: Don't get too involved with AnswerBag; it can waste huge amounts of time and make you feel like you're accomplishing something when often you aren't. Good luck.
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You need to learn how to happily achieve. The happiness reinforces the achievement and the achievement reinforces the happiness. If you don't learn this pattern you'll just continue to not be able to consistently get anywhere in life.
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The first thing you have to do, is do something that's gonna get your swagger up. Us men are nothing without confidence, and WITH confidence we can do anything. Stop thinking you're useless. Just because you don't have a job and you don't have money doesn't mean you're useless. Don't let society convince you of that bullshit. Pull yourself up. Get yourself in the best shape you can possibly be in, physically, mentally, and emotionally, and come back with your guns blazin'. Sometimes you gotta have a chip on your shoulder. Fuck the world, because nobody cares about a struggling man. You gotta strap up and fight. I believe in you. I believe in every man, because every man is capable of great things if he refuses to lose. Don't let them win dude. And by 'them', I mean everything that has ever beat you down. GO!
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Saying that "YOU" need to pick "YOURSELF" up sounds like a healthy beginning to me!! We all can use a little help every now and then, to be sure, however, it is within our own ability to get things going again. Looks like you got some pretty good advice up above there I would add one more thing to that list and that is, get yourself a large notebook and write down everything positive you can think of about yourself and every blessing you have on a daily basis. Start with just simple things like the fact that you can write to AB and get good answers, that you are a great communicator because you got responses back. You can begin with the fact that you are alive and breathing. What a blessing that is! Good Luck, and always remember that NOTHING lasts forever, even though it may seem like the down times do. They DON'T!
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you can start by showing your love and affection to your family and build from there. all the other material things become less worthy when your family is happy. your family, you can confide in each other and look to a brighter future and make postive changes. don't worry me and my dad were homeless and in & out of family shelters & even had to sleep in the subway station BUT we made it thru the pain and been a stronger family ever since. what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. think like this.. "it could of been worse, but i'm blessed enough to have what i have and able make an effort for my life and the people i love"
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Firstly you need to get yourself sorted by either getting into contracting or college. Decide which path is best for you and speak to the relevant people.
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