Whats your favorite you might be a redneck joke?
by 
glamorgirli
ANSWERS: 29
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You might be a redneck if you ask the preacher, “How’s it hanging?”
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if your house has wheel story of my life till about 3 months ago
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if you go to a funeral to meet girls... if you say hey ma, come look at this before I flush it
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GIT 'ER DONE!!! If your gun rack has a gun rack on it.
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You might be a redneck if you clean out you're pick-em up truck by going really fast then suddenly stopping.
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You might be a redneck if you discover a car while mowing your yard. You might be a redneck if your Mom doesn't even remove the Marlboro from her lips before telling the highway patrolman to kiss her "Backside."
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If a family reunion is a dating opportunity.
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If you have ever been too drunk to fish, you might be a redneck.
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You might be a redneck if your dog and your wallet are both on a chain. You ARE a biker if the above is true. :P
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....If the bride and the grooms family is sittin' on the same side of the church.
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If you register for your wedding at the bait -n- tackle shop
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you've been married 3 times and haven't changed in laws lol
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If you see a sign that says "Say No To Crack" and it reminds you to pull your pants up.
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If you have a mobile home and 14 cars that aren`t. If you have a diploma on the wall from somebody`s School of Trucking.
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Easy. It's the "You might be a redneck if you get a kick off of you might be a redneck jokes."
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If your riding lawn mower has more miles on it than your car....you just might be a redneck.(just made that one up lol)
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..your house has tires yo...
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N.A.S.C.A.R. Non Athletic Sport Created Around Rednecks & There are four or more cars up on blocks in the front yard. (My neighborhood)
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If directions to your house include, "turn OFF the paved road," you just might be a redneck. If the RICHEST person in your family just bought a new home and you need to go help him take the tires off of it, you just might be a redneck, If you mow your yard and find a CAR, you just might be a redneck. If you go to family reunions to meet WOMEN, you just might be a redneck. ( I have LOTS of these I remembered from Jeff Foxworthy and from other sources! LOL! )
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I came up with this one coming off from a mountain in my car after a big windy snow storm and a big tree was across the road. If a chainsaw is part of your automotive emergency kit....you just might be a redneck.(I cut my way out.lol)
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If your directions sound like this,"head down this road for about two and a half beers and take a right.It's about a beer and a half after that. you can't miss it." you just might be....
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You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. or You ever cut the grass on your front lawn and found a car there.
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....if your wife tells you, "Honey, you have to get the transmission out of the tub. I need to take a bath". . or . ....if you're at a dance and someone yells "Hoedown", and your girlfriend hits the floor, you might be a redneck.
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If the police have ever been called on your Bible Study Group. To be fair there were less than a dozen and they only had to come back once
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If the most commonly heard phrase in your house is "come look at this before I flush it"...you might be a redneck.
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If you live in a rural area and behave as such. —from Family Guy.
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-If your favourite thing to watch on TV is lawnmower racing. -If that TV sits on some cinderblocks and a sheet of plywood. -When you think "Big Mutha Truckers" is the epitome of the gaming world. -If you're having trouble reading this. -If the only reading material you have is a restraining order saying you can't get close to your wife. -Your wife is also your sheep.
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you might be a redneck if your family tree does not fork out +5
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If you can correctly identify all the different species of bug guts on your windshield
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