Marriage is 50-50, if it is to survive. She is wrong. What if you have other plans? I smell trouble down the road, if you two do not resolve this problem. Neither party can be a controller. It will lead to disaster.

I don't think you are controlling at all. Marriage is a joint venture. She needs to rememer that. You might try doing a couple things yourself without telling or discussing it with her. Maybe the next time she invites people over, you won't be home because you made plans yourself. Maybe she will get the message. When you are part of a team you need to stop making decisions, which will affect you both, without discussing it first with your partner.

Around here I am the last to know what is gonna happen. It is wrong for a two party relationship to end up with one party making choices for both parties without at least asking the other party if they mind. In my case since I most likely would say yes then there should be no fear in 'including' me in these 'choices'. The problem is not the choices being made - the problem is that one feels like their opinion, their needs/wants/desires are being ignored. Sound familiar? If so then you need to sit down with the spouse and explain that the problem is not the situations (the choices made without you) the problem is that you feel ___________ (fill in the blank with what you feel). If this does not work then you two need a couple's counselor. The counselor will take your side on this particular issue. The reality is that both parties in a marriage/relationship should ask the other out of courtesy about most things since most things have an affect on both parties within a relationship. Controlling is if you forbid her everything, if you don't and you just want to be part of the loop of these 'decisions' in your relationship then it is not controlling.

you are partially correct and partially wrong. If she is having company at the house, of course she should consult with you, its youor home, too. If she is making plans to go out and you are going too, of course she should ask you. BUT, if she is making plans with her friends, she does NOT need your permission, unless you go to her for permission to do things on your own, too. which I highly doubt!

Ha ha... my husband does the same thing. Free spirited individual he is. We just view things differently - I am a planner: if someone's coming over for dinner, I want to know a week ahead of time so I can wash the curtains, research their favourite foods, pre-wash the good china.... whereas my husband is more impromptu: he will grab the keys and head for the door, and when I ask where he's going he says "Ah, I'll know when I get there" We drive each other crazy... but most of the time, it's just a matter of meeting in the middle. I try to let him have his freedom, just as long as there's a phone number I can reach him at, and he gives a general idea as to when he'll be home. We have agreed on a 24 hour (at least) notice for dinner guests and overnight stays.