• No I never was in that particular situation. but i kinda learned about it so in a way I know how you feel. if i was in that situation i would definatly get some counceling because what you felt was normal but its definatly not a good idea to get back into an abusive relationship! that can actually do more harm to you than staying away from him.
  • An acquaintance of mine has experienced the same as you Anon. She struggled. Eventually she sought counsel with a relationship specialist. They advised her to write down every single thing she could remember of the abuse. Keep it tucked away somewhere, whenever she felt the withdrawal to go get that paper and read it. Each time she read it, it was a reminder of why she left. Over time, she referred to it less and less to the point she has discarded that piece of paper and the withdrawal has long gone. She is in a much brighter space now, she knows who she is now and her self esteem is healthy. She has no relationship co-dependancy. I wish you all the best Anon.
  • yes, I gave away all my points but i'll +3 tomorrow. :/
  • Yes I went through the same thing. What I realized is that it was the few nice memories I would think about when I was alone and not the hundreds of slaps, pushes or punches. The biggest problem I think is that it takes time to build your own memories that don't involve him and once you can start building on that you will start to forget him. Good luck.
  • I did the same thing with my ex husband which was also abusive and I know what you mean about wanting to go back, which I did several times until I got the guts to remove the relationship from my life for good. I'm on husband #2 now & have been for almost 18 years. You think you will never get over it but I promise you will & will be happier for it!
  • i have not gone through that because ive never been in a relationship at all. i doubt i will be though. that's a good idea to remind yourself of the reasons why you left him. because ppl like that don't really change. i know of someone who spent 15yrs of married life to the same guy and got beaten 3x a yr on average. she finally got the courage to leave him because she found out he cheated on her which resulted in her getting sick and having an operation and while she was recovering he still beat her. she did it with a sound mind though because she collected evidence and after the school yr ends she packed up and left with her children.
  • i personally have not, but i read a book called "The Breakable Vow" and it dealt with similar issues as your own. it was really intense, you should read it. it might help you/
  • Yes, it wasn't easy. My friends were there by my side to do anything I wanted, or help me get anything I needed, including a paint by number from an art store an hour away. I'm sure one of my friends was making sure I wasn't going to do anything stupid, and I'm mighty greatful for it, even though I never did.

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