ANSWERS: 20
  • Obviously she still has feelings for her exboyfriend. Judging from the fact that you say she is 'confused' that he wants to get back together, chances are that she was very into her ex boyfriend and was probably on the receiving end of the break up. The fact that she 'doesn't want to be with anyone' probably stems from the fact that she got burned by her ex, who now wants to get back with her, and she is unsure about her relationship with you. There's probably no way you can convince her otherwise, so let her do her own thing. You don't need someone who probably does still have feelings for this ex...she'll end up hurting you in the long run. It may not seem fair that he 'had his chance' but dating isn't a contest...be more mindful to her feelings rather than being able to say that you have this girl and he doesn't.
  • You can't control what she does and how she chooses. Be aware that you need to take care of yourself first. Are you happy with her in this situation? Do you get what you need from a relationship? Is she ready to be in a relationship with you? Please forget convincing her. This would mean you will have to please her so much that she changes her mind favorably to you. Well, if you do this you enter a never ending pleasing contest with the whole wide world, AND now she will see you as a pleaser and not as a confident man.
  • It's not up to you to try and convince anyone of staying together with you. It's freedom of choice. I know that's not the "popular" answer that you'd like to hear, but true love allows the other person within the relationship to have a free choice. Clearly, if you're having to prove yourself, then maybe she's not worth your time and you're better off breaking it off and letting her go her own way. After all, as the old saying goes, "You can't make someone love you, if they don't." Good luck!
  • You shouldn't have to. She shouldn't be confused about her ex. She should have known there were no more strong feelings there before she started seeing you... in fact, when she ended it with him. My recent ex just told me that he's still in love with his ex girlfriend after 10 months of being with me. I wish so badly that he had taken the time to be alone and figure out what he wanted at the beginning of this whole thing rather than now when my heart is with him. Let her take her time if she needs it. She may realize her heart is with you, or she may realize her heart never left him. Just be prepared for either answer, and if it's the second one I know it hurts, God do I know, but it will get better in time, and you will find someone else who doesn't have all the baggage.
  • Just let her go. If she wants to be with you she will be with you. If not, she isn't worth it.
  • well you need to go ahead and let her go because that is a dead end street with her, if she loves you there would be no doubt in her mind that she only wants you. she wouldnt even be thinking about the other guy. Her being with nobody is the easiest way to break up with you that way she can go be with the other guy. you deserve better.
  • Like the line from the song says,"don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got till it's gone". I would think that her ex became an ex for a reason, maybe she has forgotten what it was. Let her have him, or no one...give her all the space she wants and go on with your life. She will either want you back or she won't, and if you step back and take a second look at the 'relationship' YOU may decide that it's not for you. Add: Why would anyone want to be with someone who had to be convinced? Just curious.
  • It looks like she wants to get back with her old guy. behave in a manner that you respect her decision and don't say or do anything to prove you're the best. don't contact her on regular basis as you used to do and give her the freedom. if you do like this, there's a possibility of her comming back to you. Good Luck!
  • Her saying she doesn't want to be with anyone, is her saying she wants to go over here and see about him, see whats going on, and then have the opportunity to comeback to you if she feels she made a mistake, but she doesn't want the guilt of doing it while together with you, then is if she comes back, she can say she just needed time to think.
  • More than likely her ex broke it off with her and she still harbors feelings- not only for him but feelings of inadequacy and failure. His coming back to her helps numb those inner feelings that she likely thought she had put away. This is where the confusion comes from. She likes two people at the same time but knows that she can't ride two horses with one ass. At least she shouldn't if she has any sort of substance whatsoever. Bad news is that she has to make this decision on her own. Only thing you can do is be yourself. If you were smart you haven't cut off all your friends or given up all your hobbies for her. Just do what you would do if she wasn't in your life. And no matter what, do not try to "convince" her of anything. If she calls, listen. If she texts, keep it light and friendly. Do not weigh her down with your own feelings of inadequacy and loss. It's okay to have them but really only dwell on that stuff alone for a set time. Then get on with your life and do what makes you happy. As a good hedonist once said, follow your bliss. If she comes back of her own free will, good. If not, good. Either way you learn and grow. Good Luck.
  • I am sure there are ways you can convince her but i wouldn't recomend it.
  • If you have to convince someone to stay with, then its not worth it.
  • i do agree here but my story is i met a who just broke up with his x and wanted her back badly and was in love with her, i deceided to become his friend and support him and help him through his break up! in the end he realized im more caring then his x and he would be better off with me bobs your uncle were engaged!
  • If you really like her give her time.
  • She still has feelings for her ex and getting involved with her right now will only lead to you being hurt. Let her get over him. If you can handle it and want to be friends with her then do that but you are only asking for a broken heart by staying in this situation.
  • You are probably the rebound man, and that's not a good thing. Give her time and space. Her heart isn't healed enough to let you in. Just be there for her if she wants to talk, but in no way put any pressure on her. She will appreciate you more if you give her that time to heal that she needs.
  • No. She's got to make up her own mind.
  • I think you should give her time to think about it. Don't say or do anything, just wait patiently. Waiting is cure in the relationships. Belive me.
  • probely not it sounds like she still had feelings for him just remind her theres a reason you broke up with him.... don't keep her unhappy ..let her go theres always something better around the corner i know you can't imagine it but .....just let her go and make no hard feelins towards her if it does work ... and you stay the same guy you are she'll appricaite the person you've been.
  • Don't even bother. If she's wishy washy like this, just find someone more grounded that you can rely on instead.

Copyright 2018, Wired Ivy, LLC

Answerbag | Terms of Service | Privacy Policy