Do you know why he told his wife that it was you and not someone else? What does he gain by this?

Well if you did not cheat on him there should be no problem with him believeing you and trusting you unless there were issues of such in the past which hold trust as a factor. Its obvious that if you did nothing wrong he is feeling guilty about something and needs to take a look at the situation and decide how much he trusts you and cares about you. If nothing wrong happened, and this friend was trying to make some sort of joke out of it , he was truly wrong and owes you and your exmate a apology, possibly he can even explain to your ex that he just said it because he was making a joke out of it or something like that. But in most cases guys dont make things up like that unless they are into the woman and do not want to see her happy with another male. Its a hard scenario to answer because only you know the truth and all we can do is advise. I believe that if you truly do love this ex of yours and you did nothing wrong it cant hurt to talk to him and speak things out honestly. Maybe its just insecurity on his part, and he feels threatened that he realli will lose you to this friend, or maybe even he was looking for something like this as an excuse to get out of a realtionship he did not want anymore. Maybe his options were open while this whole incident occured and hes moved on, who knows. If its meant to be it will be all you need is faith and strength and you will be fine. If you did nothig wrong I would not sweat the small stuff, its his loss if he doesnt want to consider what you have to say. Lots of Luck..

You have grounds for a slander lawsuit, and if a large slug of money would make you feel any better, go for it. Proving the suit might even get your boyfriend back, if he's interested.

Well it's a long shot, but your ex-boyfriend apparently trusts the cheater enough to believe him, so that suggests they have a relationship still -- if you could get the cheater and your ex together and sit down to talk with them both, then the cheater would have to confront you. This would give you an opportunity to demand evidence: receipts for gifts or hotels, dates and times of alleged trysts, etc. Many liars are weak when confronted with the whole story at once. He might not relent, but as your ex watches the show some doubt may begin to arise. Whether or not you could get them to participate in this would be the question, of course. There's another aspect to your problem which is emotional and personal: your attempts to "get over him". Unfortunately, life often dishes up unfair situations for us which generate lots of pain. We naturally resist: we deny it's happening, or hope it goes away, or just crawl into a little mental hole and pull our limbs in after us so we don't feel anything. This withdrawal/resistance is a survival response, but it's not very healthy -- especially if we attempt to sustain it for a long period of time. To grow and thrive, a human being has to come OUT of the shell and expose themselves to life, with all of it's risk, pain, and unpredictability. When we expose ourselves to life, it's an emotional rollercoaster. Being willing to ride that rollercoaster -- with all of it's ups and downs -- is the courage of a healthy self. The ride changes us, and that's what we're afraid of. We think we know who we are, and we want to hold that "self" together, so we don't like rollercoasters of this type. Your attempts to "get over" the ex are in part a resistance to experiencing the pain, grief, loss, and vulnerability which are trying to arise in response to what happened. You're trying to "talk yourself out of" the pain. But that's not RIDING the rollercoaster, that's trying to hang on to the rails as the car tries to climb the track. To ride the rollercoaster, you have to stop resisting and BE in pain. You have to let it hurt -- cry, be angry, fall into despair, and then discover that the pain did not actually damage you. When the emotion is spent, there will be a time when you stand in front of the mirror and smile; realizing that each day is still a brand new day. This is what it means to "process" the trauma. Without allowing the feelings and thoughts to proceed through their normal course, we just become cut-off from our own feelings -- living in an eternal state of numbness, trying to make sure those feelings don't gain enough power to upset us. That's like dying a little bit: shutting down part of yourself in order to allow another part to "survive". Not a good trade. By the way: people will try to talk you out of riding the rollercoaster. Many people walking around today haven't learned this for themselves -- they can "smell" the car climbing the track and fear it, and will try to "help" you by giving you resistance and distraction tips. These sound like "just read a good book", or "get out and socialize more", etc. It's fine to read books, and it's fine to socialize, but if you keep doing that stuff as a way to distract yourself from the pain, the pain will eventually sink down into a dark knot in the depths of your soul and just wait...and wait...possibly for years, eating away at your ability to experience being fullly alive. This is the choice we all face each day: to be fully alive or to hold ourselves "intact". These are mutually exclusive options.

Which person are you having trouble getting over...your boyfriend or your supposed friend? your question is not clear, in this area.

All relationship are build in trust. If he does not trust you, he is not worthy of your true love. Gather yourself again, get your self-worth back and find someone who respects and believes you. You deserve more than mistrust. "The best is yet to come", have patience!

Since the married guy is probably divorced now, maybe you can get together with him for some real hanky panky instead of imagined on his part.

There isn't much you can do once trust issues destroy a relationship, whether the events that caused the distrust were real or not. ONce someone feels you cannot be trusted they can never really commit to the relationship. I would say you got a raw deal out the event but you'll have to move on and start anew.

find the song, "I'll get over you" (it exists)