- NEW!
by The Chief on August 28th, 2008
"I've got 87 hours of comp time, boss. I want to take this Friday and Monday off."
One of my young sailors many years ago (when I was still in the Navy) was VERY late for work. As in late enough to warrant writing him up for Unauthorized Absence (AWOL for the other services).
When he finally showed up for work his excuse was: "I was up until three in the morning getting laid. I hadn't been laid in two years."
I tore up the report sheet and sent him home to get some more sleep.
by Symbeline on October 5th, 2008
I never made an excuse, and I never took any sick or vacation days unless they were official holidays, and I worked on plenty of Saturdays, and still they had the audacity to write off an absence I had once as unjustified when I phoned in and told them why, which was being sick. Since WHEN do I need to confirm that it was supposed to be a sick day? I thought it was pretty obvious.
I think I had a burnout, among other reasons why, and I hope they're having a hard time.
by Talimze on October 5th, 2008
Blood in my pee.
by Brian on August 28th, 2008
I hurt my back lifting a 200-pound Answerbag! :p
by LuckyLefty on August 28th, 2008
Food poisoning :)
by Phillis - Zacks little sister on March 25th, 2009
I'm not coming in today. What excuse would make you feel most comfortable?
by Starwalker on October 6th, 2008
I hate telling lies,so no lame excuses.
Do the right ,say I do not feel like working today :)
by BillyJohnson on August 28th, 2008
You shouldn't lie silly goose's. just ask for the day off in advance! :)
by snakelover on August 28th, 2008
I have been out of work for almost a year but the one that I knew they couldn't say no to was..."My daughter has a fever & I can't take her to daycare." Worked everytime.
by HuskyLove on August 28th, 2008
I ate mushrooms and got food posioning, and ive been up all night by the toilet bowl puking...LOL
by - Katelyn is a party animal - on August 28th, 2008
Steven Gerrard or Frank Lampard are on the tv haha
No seriously though I have conjuctivites and I am already have blind so it wont help me coming into work ... lol
by Lazarus on September 3rd, 2009
I'm self employed so I just fire myself.
by Bakebyday still baking.. on March 25th, 2009
I been with company 8 years missed 2 days. one day i got hit by car the other day i got hit with a box and it landed on my shoulder. Other then that I don't miss work.
by warlockk64 on March 25th, 2009
To drunk to wake up.
by Petals on October 5th, 2008
Diarrhea, generally you won't get asked anymore questions after that...
Really you should ask for the day off in advance, but otherwise otherwise a migraine, one day off and no proof needed, can't get to the doctors whilst having a migraine as it's too painful so you won't have a medical certificate...
by machinerat on October 5th, 2008
I only get three paid sick days a year. I have to use them wisely, so my only excuse is the truth, that I'm sick.
by sugurnspice01 on October 5th, 2008
lol well i just recently said that my sister has been staying with me and she went into labor and so i had to stay with her so she wasnt alone.
by Doggie S on August 28th, 2008
I have to do some research work, for my thesis.
by Shemarq the Wamama on September 5th, 2009
I just say I need a day off. I work my butt off there and have put in lots of hours. My boss has no problem with me wanting to take a day of now and then.
by adafterdar on April 12th, 2009
looooool =P
by SilentPurr on March 25th, 2009
Stray cat gave birth to eight kittens under my bed, and I feel I have to be home with her all day.
by j ninja... on March 25th, 2009
I never take off work.
by Rufus_T_Firefly on March 14th, 2009
"I'm trying to resist this overwhelming urge to kill an a**hole today."
Just kidding. Seriously though, I once got written up by my born-again Pentecostal hypocrite boss for having to take my son to the emergency room when he was injured. The idiot actually had the nerve to tell me that I needed to manage my time better.
by Carl_07 on March 14th, 2009
Sorry boss but I just had a friend that passed away and I'm not going to be able to make It today.
by Nick of the North on March 14th, 2009
"Sorry boss, I've got EXPLOSIVE DIARRHEA and don't know if I can hold it 'till I get to the office."
by adafterdar on March 14th, 2009
For me once I use a stupid one and they bought it hehe =P I told them when I was trying to make the alarm in my watch I didn’t notes that I made the time to PM instead of AM so I didn’t woke up =P
by tooty_fruity88 on February 13th, 2009
I can't have an excuse. I have to be at work regardless... UNLESS I have to go to the doctor.
by deluste on December 24th, 2008
I was working in a call center one fateful summer and this was the type of call center so boreing that they actually looked up the number you called in on to verify your story.
One day I had a friend come visit me on holidays, she was from a little town called Whitehorse, which happens to be in the Yukon.
I ended up feeding em a line about getting on the wrong plane home and ended up there, oh they laughed at me but when they verified my story I watched a lot of eyes go from slits to dinner plates.
It actually worked, true story.
by Chibi has a fuzzy logic on October 5th, 2008
Food poisoning or a 24 hour bug are the best excuses since most employers would rather you stay home if you have the potential of being sick in front of them. That or you claim to have not slept all night because of the reasons above making you have to run to the bathroom every five minutes.
by Anonymous on October 5th, 2008
I missed work and never called in. The next day I went in and told my boss I got an impaired and was in jail that night. Total lie. She felt sorry for me. Man did I feel like an ass. She actually had every intention of firing me until I told her my sob story.
by scoobysnacks on February 5th, 2009
DON'T LIE JUST TELL THE TRUTH AND ASK FOR THE DAY OFF
by engineer is Terminator on March 25th, 2009
Boss:ET,what's the matter?The meeting is scheduled after 15 mins.
ET(me):I'm with your wife at the shopping centre.
Boss:Oh,thanks a lot.Have a nice day.
by phantom -x- on September 3rd, 2009
Im stuck in the bloodpressure machine at walmart
by mellow_girl on September 5th, 2009
lets see, the last time i called in i told them that i was out of town with car trouble and the car wouldn't be ready til the next day...
by More2Be on September 3rd, 2009
I do not miss work. I have to work. I am a republican. If I were a democrat then working would simply be optional and I could live, temporarily or longer, on entitlements.
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Comments
looooooooooooooool nice one
by adafterdar on March 14th, 2009
Heh! Ya gotta put things into perspective!
by The Chief on March 14th, 2009