What does it mean when both me and my ex g/f get hurt and upset when we hear the other talkin about hanging out w/ the opposite sex and what does it matter?
by 
D-Miller
ANSWERS: 3
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(Thanks for the clarification -- I misread). Clearly it means you still have feelings for each other. You haven't really "broken up" completely, you're both thinking you maybe should be together still. One thing that I sometimes unsuccessfully try to slip into the conversation with young people is the idea that resolving the question "is s/he the one?" involves "taking a stand" -- the other person isn't "the one" until *you* say so. Its like the whole audience is waiting for you to deliver your line: "yes", or "no". The play cannot proceed until you do that. What many people do is they keep looking around the stage for clues about what their answer should be -- but once you've seen the stage, that's all the clues you're going to get. The rest is a risk: if you say "yes", then its your job to make that person "the one". Life is waiting for you to be accountable for your choices.
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umm..we're not together..(ex g/f)..oops i meant to leave comment, clicked wrong button
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It sounds to me like the two of you have trouble trusting each other. This is most likely left over from earlier in life - your parents, etc. In figuring out how much you should trust someone, try to remember - there's a risk you take when you trust someone, and there's a price you have to pay for not trusting them. If you trust, you enjoy your relationship more, but you leave yourself open to be betrayed. If you do not trust, you poison the relationship with jealousy and other negative feelings that don't need to be there. There simply isn't a foolproof way to do it. In my opinion, the way to go is 1) be trustworthy; 2) find a trustworthy partner; 3) trust; 4) accept that your trust may be betrayed, and accept that this is the cost of trusting. You were hoping to skip step (1) above. Don't.
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