Hi There. You are right when you say that we women always felt that we would simply "kick a guy's butt for abuse" and most often, that is true. There is just one glitch to that: Most women think of abuse as physical which is much more obvious than verbal abuse. Usually we are caught off guard when we are actually being abused emotionally/verbally because it doesn't start out that way. This is something that usually builds up over time. If it was obvious up front, I am sure we would RUN. Often, we are ignorant to some of the early signs of emotional and verbal abuse. By the time we realize that we are being abused, we are already involved and so emotionally invested in the abuser, that we are in a kind of shock at first. I do believe that once we wake up and realize that we are in an abusive relationship, then we must take steps to not only break it off with the abuser, but to also be painfully aware that there are predators "out there" looking for nice, "normal", mentally healthy people to use and abuse. You don't want to repeat history and make the same mistakes again if you can possibly help it. This is just my opinion. Having been involved with an abusive person who didn't show his true colors for almost 9 months. It happens. There are a lot of very nice people out there too, thank God!

My husband has never laid a hand on me in anger. His father would abuse and hit his mother on a regular basis while growing up. My husband vowed to be 180 degrees from what he saw. If any man did hit me, I would block it and hit back when able. I might go down but I would do so swinging.

My first marriage was an abusive one. I had no idea at that time (early 70s) that that kind of stuff even happened, even in the movies. I was stunned, but I did not stay and I did not go back once I got out. I never once thought of fighting back. That is not a personality trait that I have. I have always avoided conflict whenever I could. I let the police and the courts handle my situation. Before I could divorce him, he was murdered, so I guess it's really true that if you live by the sword, you die by it. Sometimes karma comes quickly ...