If you don't agree with the basic morals, then I wouldn't go so far as to call yourself Wiccan. What is it that you find far fetched? And remembering the Sabbats will come if you continue reading about them and making a point to study the history and practice them. Maybe you'd like to consider other Pagan paths? What is it specifically that you believe? (PS: not trying to stalk you, I just love discussing religion!)

I suspect your problem is age related. There are no 'special' words in Wicca that I know of. Not sure what the 8 'whatever they're called' are, but ALL religions are weird or far-fetched to some extent. You need to learn about ALL religions before making a deliberate choice. If you're born into a religion, you have the advantage of a head start, but if you're serious about your spirituality, you really do need to look at what is out there, then go for whichever is the best match for you. For me, Christianity is the way to go, even though my gravity/free energy interests have taught me much about nature religions. Your results may vary.

I think you need to stop doing whatever you are doing. It sounds like an utter disaster. 1.) You don't study Wicca, per-se. It isn't a religion of dogma and doctrine. 2.) Any learning towards Wicca starts with a basic study of ethics. 3.) You don't follow the Wiccan path by studying the Sabbats (the eight holidays you cannot remember) any more than you follow the Christian path by studying Christmas. 4.) Never do anything you aren't comfortable with. 5.) You need to seriously read some ACTUAL information and decide if the Wiccan path is for you. I suggest starting at http://wicca.timerift.net or my own (very basic and uncompleted) site (link in my profile). 6.) If you are reading Silver Ravenwolf at ALL as study material, or relying solely/mostly on books by Lewellyn, you aren't studying Wicca. You are simply spending a lot of time learning debunked and disproven history, as well as questionable ethics. If you don't remember the names of the solstices, that's a problem with more than Wicca. That's basic changing of the seasons, each solstice and equinox marks the changing of a season. Spring and Autumn are begun with Equinoxes - Equi meaning equal. The number of light and dark hours are equal. The Solstices mark the beginning of Summer and Winter. The longest day (most daylight hours) of the year is the Summer Solstice, and the shortest day (least daylight hours) of the year is the Winter Solstice. Start learning about one thing at a time, in depth, with a goal towards understanding each individual component and what it means to YOU, rather than a goal of memorization. In an experiential, Mystery, Initiatory path, memorization for the sake of memorization is out of place.

Because people make religions up to serve their own agendas and desires and you're probably getting conflicting information from people who have very different ideas about what "their" religion should be. Keep in mind that this comes from an atheist, albeit an atheist who was born into Christianity, rejected that in favor of Hinduism, then rejected that in favor of Wicca, and then came to the conclusion that all gods are the creations of mankind and that the most powerful affirmation of humanity is to reject all notions of a supernatural master and be the god of your own life. Again, consider the source...

well its hard to put so much faith or fact in a superstition. That's probably why you're feeling this way...

You know what, there is only one thing you need to do; and that is, know the God/Goddess. The rest is just commentary - the spells, the holidays ... everything. Spend time in nature, meditate, pray ... seek her, ask her to find you. She will, I promise. And don't worry!! Just stop all the worrying. Let it all go, let *everything* go. She will come. Believe me. Don't get lost in all the bric-a-brac of Wicca/Witchcraft/Asatru/whatever. She will lead you. Let go and let Goddess. :-) Blessed Be!