Yes -- after I tried to do it, I decided I wanted to live.

Rickster, I had gone through a period of depression where I had considered suicide as an answer, but I had never gotten so far as attempting it, or even formulated any plan as to how I would actually do it. However, a good friend of mine that I have known now for 28 years, tried it about 7 years ago, and was completely changed after that attempt. He had been a relatively heavy alcoholic for about 15 years, and was using alcohol to bury the parts of his life that he felt (i.e., believed) he could not deal with. During his attempt he got quite intoxicated, drove his vehicle into the garage, closed the door and waited for the carbon monoxide to take him away. He told me that he fell into unconsciousness, but some time shortly thereafter, woke up completely sober with an overwhelming sense of an omniscient presence of love and acceptance (God). He shut off the motor, went into his house to join his wife and two young children, and never drank a drop of alcohol after that. His outlook on life improved by orders of magnitudes, however the change was unsettling to his wife, who was already very unhappy due to several years of them both turning to the bottle. Shortly after his change they split up, but he had become so positive in his outlook that he never gave up his "faith" that he had the power, guidance, and perseverance to improve any negative aspect of life, and that ultimately his family would reunite because of it. Even though he was living away from them he remained connected by continuing to come over to his home to spend time with the kids, and take care of the yard and house. He gave his wife plenty of time and didn't pressure her to change her feelings. About a year and a half later he was back living with his family, and they seem to be happier than they have ever been. My friend had grown up in a non-religious family, and before his suicide attempt he had never shown any inkling towards believing in a God. I am a firm believer in the theory that “belief” itself (in anything, actually) is the most powerful motivator of the actions that we carry out on a daily basis. Therefore, I believe that we do the things we do because they are appropriate to, and are aligned with, our deeply ingrained set of beliefs. However, I am at a loss to explain the abrupt, 180 degree change in my friends attitude, outlook, and actions, let alone his instantaneous snap from a state of intoxication to one of sobriety, which must have been a very immediate biochemical change of his physiological state, because the time required to metabolically sober up would likely have been an order of magnitude, or two, (10 – 100 times) longer than the time it should have taken for him to asphyxiated. I myself, am agnostic and try to be open to the many possibilities for the truth about universal reality. I also try not to let my thoughts about the big questions of life become ingrained to the point that I figure I know all the answers…. which is one thing that I do believe is a very dangerous mindset to adopt. Just look at the world around us. There are so many “us and them” conflicts based upon beliefs, and religious beliefs ranks very high on the list of the ideas that divide us. Therefore, I suggest to anyone who is depressed and contemplating suicide, to think outside of their “box” of beliefs regarding themselves and the world around them. Stop believing that you and your situation are so rigidly constructed as to be unchangeable. It is simple, but not easy, and may even be a little bit scary…that is until you realize that what is holding you in place in a set of beliefs that only need to be challenged by trying something new, which likely lies outside your present comfort zone. But once done, the boundaries of your comfort zone will begin to stretch and it will become obvious that those walls were never rigid, but are instead very malleable….and you can control their shape. A final thought I would like to add is that although an attempted suicide precipitated a positive life changing event for my friend, please don’t try it. I don’t know why it happened, but I wouldn’t want anyone to read this blur and develop a belief that all they have to do is “jump,” and then God will catch them. Just think of the many who have made the attempt and succeeded, not only destroying their own life but the lives of so many around them.

well, i'm still trying :) i'm at the point where i'm not actively trying to kill myself, i just pray i'll get hit by a bus lol.

Yes myself, i still have lots flaws and really bad depressing days but i'm trying to change my self destructive behavior.

my kid sis, she has tried several times and now seems to be on the right track...

not yet but im working on it. might as well stick around and help those i can too.