pole dance ;P hopefully this isn't a child's talent show

I'd probably try my attempt at stand up comedy.

I can play Hawaiian music humming and pinching my nose...I know, get a life...

Sleeping^^ And if that isn't enough, I'll just go outside and find a few four leafed clovers.. It's the weirdest talent ever, but as recent as today I went outside for a few minutes to get some fresh air, and returned with five four leafed clovers :S

I'll sing. I love singing.

I will do my standard "10 vs 1" martial arts demonstration ... where I show the use of the wooden cane against knives, baseball bats, chains, pool cues, and 'steel toed' kickers. First, I am surrounded by 10 attackers and I quickly take them out at full speed ... then I back up and repeat the entire defense sequence slowly with pauses and explanations for each move segment, then I start all over again and do it at full speed once more.

Naturally, I'd fight the impulse. I'm afraid I'd do better as an MC than as a performer.

Break Dance and Beatbox

I'd perform my amazing invisible woman act. Until someone can pry my stage-frightened butt down from the rafters. Then its on to my incredible fainting woman act.

Sing "Ballroom Blitz"

Stand up comedy what else. Make sure you all ate one hour before I perform becasue this is about to get silly really quick. Oh boy do I have props, sketches and sidebars. I also sell rib relaxants in order to prepare you against all the silliness that will ensue.

I will play Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata. The beginning will be strong. The middle will start to struggle. And the end will trail off....

perfcormance art... wearing only a pair of painted on socks... (throwings socks of all different sizes, patterns and colours across the stage)..

Quit

I will ride a unicycle or juggle. Haven't quit got the skills to do both at the same time yet.

Strip Tease (ou,la,la) :o)

A little recitation: This is the tale of Sonia Snell, To whom an accident befell. An accident which may well seem Embarrassing in the extreme. It happened, as it does to many, That Sonia had to spend a penny. She entered in with modest grace The properly appointed place Provided at the railway station, And there she sat in meditation, Unfortunately unacquainted The woodwork had been newly painted Which made poor Sonia realise Her inability to rise. And though she struggled, pulled and yelled She found that she was firmly held. She raised her voice in mournful shout "Please someone come and help me out." Her cries for help then quickly brought A crowd of every kind and sort. They stood around and feebly sniggered And all they said was "I'll be jiggered." "Gor blimey" said the ancient porter "We ought to soak her off with water." The Station Master and the staff Were most perverse and did not laugh But lugged at Sonia's hands and feet And could not get her off the seat. The carpenter arrived at last And, finding Sonia still stuck fast Remarked "I know what I can do', And neatly sawed the seat right through. Sonia arose, only to find A wooden halo on behind. An ambulance came down the street And bore her off, complete with seat To take the wooden bustled gal Off quickly to the hospital. They hurried Sonia off inside After a short but painful ride And seizing her by heels and head Laid her face down on the bed. The doctors all came on parade To render her immediate aid. A surgeon said "Upon my word Could anything be more absurd, Have any of you, I implore, Seen anything like this before?" "Yes" said a student, unashamed, "Frequently... but never framed."