• I never kept anything from my child, which turned out to be a mistake when she was younger. 1. I made a comment in front of her when she was 4 that people who ride motorcycles & don't wear helmuts are aholes. She then went to her karate master (who rides) & said my mommy thinks you're an asshole 2. I loathed her dads girlfriend & made no bones about it. They had taken her out to eat when she was 5 & she very innocently said, NAME, are you a whore? I thought that was hilarious then. 11 years later, I know I was wrong
  • When my oldest was 3, he came running in the house one day and said, "Mommie, mommie, come out and help!! There's two dogs outside and they're glued together! They can't get apart. Come help them, they're glued together." I went to the window and saw what I'd expected to see . . . two dogs mating. I responded to my son that they were not glued together, but were actually what was called "mating." He stopped for a moment and looked at me, and then pointed toward the door again and said, "No, come quick! That's not it . . . they're glued together, because we can see the glue running down their legs!!" Cracked me up.
  • My son is always cracking me up. Once we were in a store and he was looking at a man ahead of us in line and said, "That man is wearing 2 rings. Does that mean he has 2 wives?" Another time we were in a restaurant and our server was kind of a little guy. As he was walking away, my son turned to me and said in his usual very loud 5 year old voice, "Mommy, that man has a tiny head!"
  • My 2yr old says that Jesus brought him his truck for Easter. The really bad one was when I took him potty one time I went to pull up his underwear and accidently scratched him on his, you know, and he looked at me and said "kiss it and make it better mommy" I almost lost it. Of course I didn't but it was hilarious!!!;)
  • Just recently.... My kids have watched the chipmunks movie @45 times and when I gave my 4 year old supper the other night, I set the plate in front of him and said here you are Klayton, and he said "I'm not Klayton, I'm the LOOOVVVEEE DDRRRRR". This is a line from the movie and it just cracked me up to hear my 4 year old say that. When my oldest child was in 1st grade, he had a classmate named Victoria and we had been to the mall and he seen the Victoria Secret store, so of course he asked her what her secret was!!:)
  • When he was very young, somebody asked my brother "What do you want to be when you grow up" and he said "a monkey"
  • i love the picture of your tat on your home page. when my daughter was about 12, she went camping with a friends family.smoke from the fire kept blowing in her face, so the father sent her hunting for a smoke defurer.she even found a friend from school there to help her hunt. end of story is... there is no such thing as a smoke defurer. also when younger she would ask questions such as how do you spell aol.

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