OMG I cannot believe she said that! Was she joking or does she really feel that way? I cannot believe you guys did not talk about having children before you got married because that is very important part of a partnership. I think you should sit down and really talk to her about it and tell her how important it is to you and if she still does not want to have children then you have to really think about how important having kids is to you because that could just be the deal breaker.

Wow. It sounds to me like she's racist. I cannot in good conscience recommend a divorce, so I would recommend marriage counselling. You need to address the difference in what you both want for your future and you also need to address the reason behind it. If she's not racist, I fail to see what her problem is.

You didn't know she was prejudiced till now? Find a woman who won't be shamed to have children with a 'brown man'. Mixed race children are often the most beautiful, BTW. My friend has two girls with a black man and they are gorgeous.

I can't believe that she would say that. Why would she think her possible children would be ugly because they aren't white? What I'm confused about is why she's married to a man who has darker skin than her- she obviously saw beyond the melanin then- why not with her own flesh and blood? I'm sorry, I don't know what kind of advice to give here. Good luck.

As the others said, you seem to be married to a racist. Sounds like you have some real issues to work out and while you do, you might want to show her a picture of this "ugly" kid, the product of a interracial union;)

Christ! Even ugly people don't worry about having ugly babies, you love them regardless... she's got some kind of issue. You can hope that it's just her irrational way of skirting around the real issue and justifying it to you and herself: that she doesn't want any kids at all.

my advice would be to leave and find someone else who feels the same as you do. as your choice to have children is too bigger a sacrifice. and you would end up hating each other in the long run. as for her reasons, your colour or race shouldnt come into it. it didnt matter when she married you.

Brown men and White women or vice versa make handsome boys and beautiful girl offspring. Example Coby Bell,and Rachel renee Smith.

So your wife was OK with a mixed raced marriage, but she thinks that your potential kids will be ugly because they are mixed race? Sounds to me that you married a borderline racist, and that perhaps you married her for the wrong reasons and didn't talk and get to know each other well enough before getting married.

WWWWHHHHAAAA? all i have to say is that you should listen to the advice of these nice folks on AB, they seem to be giving a lot of good advice. i'm sorry.

Your wife is wrong and it's okay to tell her so. My mixed niece is one of the most beautiful people in the world. My sister is white and the guy she had her baby with is a black guy. Their baby is so beautiful, and anyone who sees her, would most likely agree with me. So, yeah, your wife is definitely wrong. It doesn't matter what she says. She's wrong. And what kind of woman talks about babies like that anyway? That's just rude on her part. Perhaps she is trying to find an excuse, any excuse, to not have any children at all, even if her excuse is lame. I don't believe that she really believes that mixed babies are ugly. How can anyone believe that? Perhaps you should call her bluff. Well, I believe she's lying anyway. Maybe I'm wrong, but I really doubt it. Perhaps you could just ask her point blank, "Is that your way of saying you don't want to have any children at all?"

I think that by the way you've asked the question, you know what to do. Do you really want to have children with someone who'se racist? I'll answer more on this q but need to get in gear and go to work... no points (either positive or negative) till then please, thanks).

that is so stupid, anyone can be beautiful and you should love your kids gor who they are not what they look like. That is a silly reason not to want kids, maybe ask tell her how you feel and if thats the only reason she doesnt want kids then shes confused because shes married to you?

Why don't you bring her around to meet families of same mix marriage as you do. Give her time to observe those beautiful children.Don't be hasty. Give another year for whatever decision you plan to make. Good luck.

You should talk and listen, but mainly listen. She has the fears that all mothers have, not necessarily about the kids but about their future. Perhaps she sees more hardship for mixed race kids than you do, perhaps your view is right, perhaps hers is. Much of this depends on your community. So listen, and do not sell or force your views on her, hard as that may be to resist. But find examples to show her where she may be incorrect.

shes racist dude...

Mixed babies are the cutest!!!!

many of my cousins are half white and half mexican. and i know plenty of people that are half mexican and half black - and they have BEAUTIFUL babies by the way. i seriously hope she's gotten past this concept of having a baby that's not completely white, as it's prejudice and almost makes her seem like she thinks she's better than you simply because she's white. i highly doubt she's really like that since she did marry you after all. but hopefully you two will be able to show each other your different points of view and i hope that she sees that her babies will be beautiful. and screw those who are against an interracial marriage and union or whatever because it's none of their business. bless you both. good luck

Dude! You married a racist.

And why did she want to get married exactly???? Bless your heart, thats a horrible thing for a woman to say why does she think she's the prettier one of the marriage??? I'd tell her if they turned out ugly it wouldn't be because of you it would be because of her inner ugliness. Sorry but thats just wrong for a person to say that to someone they are suppose to love. Sheesh.

hey i'm bi-racial(black/white) and the only one in my school. A lot of people say i have exotic looks and say i look like i'm from the carribean.I was voted best looking all four years in high school. I have a reddish/yallowish bron tint to my skin ... i was born with natural green eyes (i hear i have pretty eyes a million times a day)... i have long brown curly hair. a lot of people love how i look also i have modeling for alloy and delias. I live in SC and there aren't many mixed girls or guys but even some of the most racist guys would say they would still date me (which is messed up i know) Also there are more mixed kids being born everyday. (and even some young kids are havning babies just so they can be mixed) ghetto i know but lol she shouldn 't worry i'll send her a pic of me and my sisters if she wants lol

and another note too some mixed kids come out looking white and some black or you might just not be able to tell which can be kinda cool i think lol I'm one of the darker ones but i'm not dark really ... (there can just be mixed people that seriously look white) i have a best friend that is mixed also and she definately looks white she has no pigment to her skin at all but then her features are more african-american as of mine are more caucasion but i can get pretty dark. You shouldn't worry about your kids being ugly anyways if you love your wife or husband you will love your kids regardless of race. And since i am mixed i learned that race is nothing because people don't even know what i am but at the end of the day it doesn't even really matter

What a weird thing to worry about.Tell her they'll be beige and they'll go with everything ;)

if thats the case she must thnk you are ugly as you are Black maybe you need to reconsider your relationship

Since when does not being white, make a child ugly? It's difficult for me to even begin to comprehend how a woman could feel that way.

Sir, I read your response where you stated that you two had "talked about this" and that she was "coming around." Don't believe the hype. She is giving lip service to the idea so that you won't leave her, but she has already stated her true belief about a child that comes from your union. Babies should always be loved and desired by their parents, not looked on with shame, embarassment, or disgust. You are trying to force her into believing what you believe and giving you what you want (a common male behavior when it comes to females), but in this case you are treading on very dangerous ground. Why? Because you won't be the only one affected by her confused, negative feelings. I've seen White women with mixed race children walk off and leave them with their fathers and go to White men, having nothing else to do with their children or the child's father. Is that what you want for your babies? If not, I suggest that you acknowledge and respect her desire not to have mixed race children. I also suggest that if you really want to have children that carry on your gene pool, you look elsewhere. The woman can also be White, I'm not saying that. I'm just saying that you really need to accept reality, stop trying to force her to do something she doesn't want to do just to please you, and get what you want in life from a woman that wants to give it to you. This ain't that woman. Ms. HeartBeat http://www.askheartbeat.com Black and Interracial Relationships

Sorry, but this is a deal breaker. If the marriage has not been consumated (you haven't had sex yet), you can get an anullment. If it has been consumated, the only thing I can recommend in good conscience is a divorce.

It's not even true. I have a dark colleague married a white woman. They have two kids, both white like she. Besides who cares about the children being "ugly". It's more important they will be healthy.

divorce the racist bitch. y did she marry u in the first place. she tinks black kids r ugly. i'd kick her white ass so hard she'd regret she married me.

Take her to see some couples like you two who have children. She'll soon discover that "race" is irrelevant. Children are beautiful, whatever their color. : )

Are you kidding, my mom has friends and the dad is African American/ the mother is Canadian and those are the cutest kids ever! I would find someone who can accept her children with pride whether or not they are from an interracial marriage.

Obviously she is rather prejudice...so time to talk to her about this.

Show her a picture of me and say, "See how good-looking mixed people look!"

dont you think you should have discussed this before you got wed? there are a lot of issues ti be discussed, you either choose to stay with her childless or split up

I think you should sit your wife down and talk to her sincereley about this situation. Don't be rude about it even though that is kind of rude that she said they wouldn't be good looking because they wouldn't be white but.. that's just my opinion. So just sit her down and think about it. And if you both can't come down to a matching decision about having kids based on their appearance, then I think you guys should reconsider your marriage very seriously.

what CAN you do now.

Nooooo way. I've seen pleanty of "mixed" children and they have thee most amazing skin complextions, the color skin they usually have is like a tan its wonderful! and ur wife shouldnt even care about that she should love you enough to know the kids will be beautiful because they are her own/

forget about her..marry me..i'm a brown woman..hehehe..!

Wow! If she loved you it wouldn't matter and that is something really hateful to say. She should not judge you or your future children because of what she has experienced after you got looks. Good luck on this one. Even if she is coming up with excuses on why not to get pregnant she still shouldn't steep that low.

My kids are beautiful. Hasn't she ever see mixed children? Everytime you see one make sure you point them out to her.

I am a white woman married to a cape verde man He is very dark he is 6ft tall and very big boned retired heavyweight boxer. Im a petite 4ft 11in blue eyed 137lbs. I would cut off my what ever to have his child. You need to have a serious talk with you wife. She has a definate problem and it's going to be yours if you don't talk some sense into her. For what reasons do we marry ? I know one is to multiply, says the Lord.I think this is one issue the two of you should have discussed before you entered into this marriage. You really need to communicate, that is the key to your getting through this problem. Good luck.

I am a white woman with a brown man. And I think that if she truly loves you then it won't make a difference what they look like, she may just get over it once she sees that beautiful baby in her arms who will remind her of you, the love she married. What she may be afraid of is social stipulations on mixed marriages, that have been around for longer than they should. If she was raised in a close-minded household, she may be afraid of change. Being with you could be almost "exotic" for her, but now that the next generation is involved, she has to re-evaluate her motives in this relationship. I am not an expert, but it seems she is just unsure what this child will encounter when He/She grows up. With understanding and patience, and truthful communication there shouldn't be any real issue if you both give it your all. :-)

Hi,I am sure you both make a beautiful couple,and if you can tell your wife. Our kids will turn out to be very beautiful,and say that to her in a positive beautiful way. Just tell her,i want to start a beautiful family, and use I love you so much. Good luck.

well I think she is unsecure in herself. She is not a rasist.Is not at all about your colour. She does not want kids. She hate her self beeing "big". I suggest you take her to a therapist.

Go to "images" on google, or yahoo, and type in "mixed race baby". You will be able to find so many different possibilities there, you can use that for discussion. It is sad you didn't discuss this before you were married, but I'm wondering if there is maybe an underlying issue that needs to be brought out.

She's so wrong that mix usually produces some very pretty and handsome offspring.

Questions: 1) Do you still love and respect her? 2)Does she still love and respect you? If no then go. If the answer is yes in both cases then it will be doubly sad. It is clear that both your back grounds ( saw your post on your racist families)are playing a catch up role here.I always believe in reconciliation but in this case and thinking about the little innocents you so desperately want look else where my friend. Foot note about your family's alienation.I was asked by a family member when i started dating my wife why i am alienating my family. Answer: You are alienating your selves. My door is open to all and sundry to experience beauty love and happiness, if you do not want it then sorry O.

sounds like she has other issues besides the color thing - if my husband wanted children with me and he was purple i would love to have his little lilacs LOL

You might want to consider the relationship you have with this person. You may want to find someone who is willing to accept all aspects of you.

Sorry to hear that, hind sight you should have had discussions about children before you got married, since you should marry someone who share mutual intrests...if it's something you want and she is not willing to budge, than sadly i think the relationship is over....

Derek Jeter of the Yankees comes from an interracial marriage. So does Halle Berry. Ugly babies? I think not!!! The only ugliness is her racist behaviour.

Oh well you should have talked about having children before you got married. I have FOUR grandchildren, 3 boys and one girl. They are the most googlooking children I have ever seen! My youngest grandchild has light skin and light hair, the other's have light skin with dark hair. They bring me so much joy. Their must be something else your wife is not saying. And then again maybe not.I have never seen an ugly miloto child in my life.

Move on....she already has!

Unless she has a valid reason, seek a divorce.

Its all about the love. Some of the most beautiful looking children are milato. I think she may be thinking too much . The purpose for kids is to love them and have a family.

Oh no, that's awful--and RACIST--of her to think that way. So, a brown man is good enough to f+ck, but not good enough to be her child? I'd file for divorce if I were you. She doesn't seem to respect you.

Perhaps it's just an excuse and she really doesn't want children at all.

I think your wife has other issues here. If she thinks only white kids are pretty, she is dealing with something that goes deeper than you are aware of. Does she think you are ugly? I would ask her that. Maybe you need to examine your relationship, even though it's a little late to find out that she is hung up on color.

how can she love and be married to a brown man and not look forward to having/loving brown children? There's something wrong with that. She has some deep set issues she needs to deal with or should have dealt with before she got involved with a brown man. I think you've got a problem on your hands and should consider another partner if you want to have children.

I AM A WHITE WOMAN MARRIED TO A BROWN MAN , WE HAVE A GORGEOUS BLUE EYED , FAIR SKINNED BABY GIRL , AND YES HE IS THE FATHER , EITHER WAY NO ONE KNOWS WHAT YOUR CHILDREN WILL LOOK LIKE , BUT EITHER WAY THEY ARE YOUR CHILDREN LOVE THEM AND RAISE THEM RIGHT , I KNOW AS A MOTHER SHE IS PROBABLY WORRIED ABOUT THE WAY THEY WILL BE TREATED , BUT I AS A MOTHER KNOW THAT THE ONLY REASON IT IS ACCEPTABLE NOW IS BECAUSE A MIXED COUPLE SOMEWHERE HAD CHILDREN , AND I WILL RAISE MY DAUGHTER AWARE OF SOCIETY AND HOW HARSH IT CAN BE , BUT ALSO NO MATTER HER LOOKS , SHE IS STILL MY CHILD AND A WONDERFUL PERSON , I SUGGEST YOU ALL DO THE SAME!

Have kids anyway - remember Barak Obama is half and half himself, and he looks pretty good dosn't he?

She is ignorant because the healthier the children are the more beautiful so when people marry interracially they come with two very different genetic backgrounds making their babies stronger and healthier thus more beautiful. Study beauty/attraction and you will see that health and beauty go hand in hand and this is why interracial children tend to be so gorgeous. Your wife seems to have deeper issues and if you want children it should be with a more intelligent stable person...Just my opinion.

come on do u really think that is the reason she doesnt wanna have kids? because she is afraid they will be ugly????? i think she is just using that as an an excuse u need to talk to her about it. we all know mixed kids look adorable.

I don't believe what I just read.

Hmm, well that kind of sucks. Stinks that didn't come up earlier in the relationship. As for the kids thing, personally I believe that multiracial people are much better looking than same race people so I'm sure your kids would be better looking than white kids.

what ?? what are you saying ??! : ofcourse mix kids are wonderful , are you sure thats her reason ? well sorry but i dont think so , she seems that she is not ready to have kids !

Okay, I'm sorry, I does look like you've gotten plenty of advice, but I have to say something. Seeing an interracial couple together brings tears to my eyes. The only thing more beautiful is a biracial child. It takes two very couragous people to bring a biracial child into the world and they should be praised and admired for that. I'm sure you love your wife very much, but it sounds like she had some bad parenting. Believing that mixed children are ugly is, again I'm sorry, a racist coment. People aren't born racist; they learn it. She's got some deep personal issues that you may not be able to fix for her. If children is really what you want and she is truly opposed to it, consider other options, i.e. adoption, and if that doesn't work, maybe even find someone who's on the same page as you.

LEAVE HER.....AND FIND A REAL WOMAN, SHE NEEDS TO WAKE UP AND REALIZE ALOT OF THINGS....

She is not at ease with your color. My question to you is that: Where did you find the stomach to handle something like that. You must like white..... to death. When you like something too much, you are bound to be victim of something,.

Maybe she is using your colour as as excuse because she does not want to have ANY children; period. Did you not talk about children before you married? I think what your wife said was very insensitive and cruel. Maybe you need to take a second look at your relationship. Hope you can work things out. If not, it may be time for you to start again elsewhere with someone else. lol

Um...you are married to a racist? (You DO know she is a racist, right? I hope you are not making any excuses for her!) Do you love her??? Good lord. The only person I know who has had experience with this is my husband, whose ex-wife didn't know he was Jewish until after they were married. HE on the other hand didn't know that she was an anti-semite BIGOT until after they were married. Obviously they ended the marriage. But on a very simple level, without the racism elements, at issue is whether you could live knowing that you'd always wanted children to fulfill your life? GOD BLESS US ALL! Why does love make us temporarily STUPID enough to marry people who are so, so WRONG for us (and in this case, wrong for ANYone)?! I'm sorry, dude. Good luck. Signed: sister of color happily married to second Jewish husband.

First of all, if you married her, this should all ready be in your knowledge bank.That's ridiculous. & if she has lived on the planet earth & is not confined to a house, she should know that mixed kids are just as cute as a so called "full blooded" child of a particular race!

What did she think that your kids would look like? hmmm. obviously there was no forward thinking in her mind. But really you never know what your kids will look like, i am in a mixed marriage with 2 children. Our daughter has beautiful olive skin with dark hair and dark eyes And our son is white with blonde hair and blue eyes, though he does have the flat nose and big lips (from his father)- in fact he is a splitting image of his father but just white, hmmm Both are a delight to me In the end it comes down to how the genes mix on the day and all children are beautiful as they are a mix of their parents

Adopt.

There are some really beautiful mixed race people,so I don't know why she would feel that way.

I have a biracial child and he is a gorgeous man of eighteen now. Your wife will have to understand that when you mix the races her child will look black. I guess I don't understand how she loves you and yet thinks any children you have will be ugly. Some of the most physically beautiful people are of mixed heritage. But then again that's my opinion.

how is it possible that a white woman who married a brown man doesn't find beauty in brown people? you may need to have serious counseling or therapy before you bring little biracial babies into the world and go screwing them up.

I AM A WHITE LADY MARRIED TO A DARK HISPANIC MAN. WE MARRIED WHEN I WAS 16 AND HE WAS 19. THAT WAS 14 YEARS AGO. I KNOW ABOUT ALL THE LOOKS THAT PEOPLE CAN GIVE YOU. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE 2 CHILDREN, THEY ARE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL CHILDREN IN THE WORLD. THEY HAVE OLIVE COLOR SKIN WITH DARK HAIR. NO, THEY DON'T LOOK LIKE ME THEY LOOK LIKE ME AND THEIR FATHER. I HAVE NEVER REGRETED MAKING A FAMILY WITH MY HUSBAND. HOWEVER THERE ARE ALOT OF RACIST PEOPLE TODAY IN OUR SOCIETY, INCLUDING MY GRANDMOTHER. SHE USED TO TELL PEOPLE MY KIDS WERE GOING TO BE YELLOW. YOU JUST IGNORE THESE KIND OF PEOPLE AND MOVE ON. THEY ARE THE ONES THAT WILL BE MISERABLE ALL THEIR LIFE AND YOU ALL WILL BE HAPPY. ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS LOOK AT YOUR BEAUTIFUL BABIES AND ALL IS WELL.

It may be that one day all races will have intermingled, and there could be no prejudice because we will all be mixed. She will be doing her part to bring about that beautiful era, when there will be peace on Earth.

this question itself should be a wakeup call for you. This women you are married to is not deserving of you at all. What kind of a person even has the audacity to question whether the person that they are married or supposedly in love with, will make beautiful babies or not based on the colour of their skin. Does she not realize that you are the same colour and if she does what does that say about how she thinks about you. I am absolutely appalled that your wife would even suggest that the colour combination of you two people would produce ugly babies. Babies (and people) are beautiful no matter what colour of skin they are, period!!!! Why are you with someone that thinks the colour of your skin is ugly?

How nieve of her. For 1 nokids are ugly, for 2 biracial babies are beautiful. She needs some real help or a wake up call.

WTF you married a racist woman who probably inwardly looks down on you

Wow!!! Why was this never discussed B4 you were married?

WOW, sorry but your wife needs a smack on the face for being so vien. My husband is East Indian and I am mix Viet/Thai and I always kid that our baby was going to be odd looking but thats going to be our baby and I would never say NO to sharing a child with the man I love.

I am a white woman, with two beautiful biracial girls. Talk about gorgeous. My oldest has brown hair like me, with perfect spiral curls, and dark-lashed blue eyes. wow. she has flawless, sun-kissed brown skin, and is amazingly beautiful. My youngest has the same hair as her sister, but she has mesmerizing brown eyes that change from light to dark depending on what she wears, and her lips are like angelina jolies. what perfect angels I have,and i thing mixing two races are great, because the kids will get the best of both worlds.

I am a "white" woman with twin 2 and 1/2 year old girls by a "brown" man and mixed children are the most beautiful babies in the world. She is wrong her kids will be white, and mixed with whatever you are. I think you should be honest with her. It shouldnt matter what race your child is as long as you both love your child thats all that should matter

WOW. Now you see the real person. Now what will you do with this information?

Hi sorry to hear she thinks that way because this sound really odd. Why would you want to be with someone of different colour yet you want your kids to be the same as you. I am a white woman living with a brown man we have two of the best looking kids ever and i am so proud to be there mother, and i defintley know that my partner feels the same. Colour is not an issue in my house. Me, my partner and my children all love each other very much.

Divorce the woman. Your wife doesn't give a hoot about you whatsoever. Her stance that she won't have any of your children because she believes that any children of racially-mixed marriages will be ugly is so stupid, words escape me in trying to define my contempt for such a person. My wife is Oriental and I am Caucasian and our children are beautiful children. I have seen many beautiful children of mixed marriages. I have also seen ugly children where both parents are white. As an aside, you should have discussed this with her before you married this witch.

She doesn't sound like mother material to me...I would seriously reconsider whether I wanted her to be a mother to my children. You might just find someone who loves you and your children for what they are.

tell her that if she wont give you kids some other white woman will =) ..us biracial children are beautiful.

That's silly. Mixed race children are among the most beautiful in the world. Ever seen a blonde-ish girl with beautiful permanently tan-colored skin? Have a good look at Black/Italian actress Leila Arcieri. Her coloration is the envy of many white girls who sweat for hours in tanning salons. Halle Berry is considered one of the most beautiful women on earth. Among the famous mixed race celebrities are Barack Obama, Franco Harris (former star running back of the Pittsburgh Steelers), Keanu Reeves, and Tiger Woods.

Even a british bull dog mother likes her pups

sounds like she might not think ur good looking and only thinks white ppl are good looking which is not true

BEAUTY DOES NOT HAVE A COLOR. i'VE SEEN SOME UGLY ASS WHITE KIDS

Most mixed kids are beautiful. Just Cum inside her and don't tell her till after you do it and tell her you were so into it you didnt wana stop. Lol. Once she gets pregnant, & she has the baby she'll be happy. & Id ask her why she thinks it will be ugly. Cause im sure if shes married to you, she doesnt think your ugly- so what makes her think that.

I am mortified. Just shocked. The mix of us all is making a more beautiful human race w/every new child. Your wife needs some counceling.

you go up to her...look her in the face and say "WOMEN, there is no way our kids will ugly, were gonna get into that bed, and make children!"

She sounds smart. Stay with her.

WTF Show her a pic of me on my avatar i turned out alright even though i am not white (dad white mum brown) Maybe she should goolge pics of mixed children before she judges something she has no idea about