ANSWERS: 4
  • You can face the reality of low trust! You can't MAKE yourself trust someone when they've given good reasons to not trust, at least not without damaging the part of your mind which attempts to realistically evaluate things. So there's nothing to be reversed here. You have a wife whom you don't trust, with good reason. Now what? Well, if she behaves herself for a long time, and you see corresponding signs that she's changing, your trust is likely to return. Until then, she'll be "on probation" in your Trust Department. What you should do is (a) let go of the notion that you SHOULD trust her, that's not true.... and (b) make sure you don't fall into some sort of self-deception about it. If she cheated, and nothing dramatic has altered her values and level of self-discipline, the odds are good that she will cheat again given the opportunity. Let common sense have it's way, and it generally won't mess you up too bad.
  • Tell her your concerns and emphasize that you WANT to trust her, but that the only way for that to happen is to rebuild that trust over time.
  • You made your first mistake by marrying her. why would a person marry someone that he knew was going to cheat on him. even after the marriage? Like the song says: "One Is The Loneliest Number". You made a grave mistake, so you should know what to expect. Divorce Court.
  • You guys need to have a nice, long chat about your realtionship. Without that trust you really have no realtionship at all. If she's continuing the behaviour that lead to her cheating in the first place instead of keeping her act clean you can bet it's going to happen again. And if she did it more then once you really need to look at why you married her in the first place. I have a feeling it was more about fear of admitted you failed (which you didn't, but is common for the significant others of cheaters to feel)then that you really love her. If you really want to make this work it's going to take lots of hard work and councilng to do it.

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